


The Marauders: A Muggle AU

by potterhead_fic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Hogwarts, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 47
Words: 70,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26500120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potterhead_fic/pseuds/potterhead_fic
Summary: This fanfiction is an Alternative Universe into the Muggle World but the characters still belong to JK Rowling.This contains characters from the Marauders era and others from Harry Potter.I'm not going to give face claims. You are free to imagine the characters how you wish and choose the face claims you feel most comfortable with.This fanfic is during the 70's in the UK, specifically in London. Hogwarts is a high elite school. Each chapter would be addressed from a different character point of view.Hope you like it!
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marauders & Lily Evans Potter, Marauders & Marauders, Marauders/Marauders, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black/James Potter, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 41
Kudos: 30





	1. Remus

What a boomer is when your life changes forever. That had happened to me now two times in my life. I'm not gonna deep down into them. All you care about is my current situation. I got a scholarship for the most prestigious school at whole Britain: Hogwarts. The thing is that I won an essay contest like three years ago and they noticed me, and decided to give me a scholarship. Yeei! Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. But I wish it wouldn't be when my life was at the best. I wouldn't have mind this, years ago when I was a loner. But now I had friends and I had Dora. Maybe not her anymore.

I sight to the window watching the countryside past through my eyes. This freaking school is too far away. And I don't plan that my mom drives me everyday.  
"Nervous?" she asks  
"Not at all" it is sarcasm "I'm so excited to be pushed into another school. When I don't know anyone. And nobody knows me. Thrilled!"  
Mom rolls her eyes. "Well. I'm glad you are EXCITED. Because we are here"  
I stop looking at her to look through the window again. A building that looks like a castle is in front of me. I've never seen a place like this. My mouth swings open. Dorki would've said this must've been taken from a fairly tale. Marly would've laughted and muttered something like 'rich kids' or something. Oh shit. I'm gonna miss my friends.  
"Looks good" my mom says.  
Suddenly my nerves get worse "Can we drive back? Please? I don't think I can do this"  
Mom takes a cig and lit it.  
"Do you think I just drove all the way here to drive back? You ungrateful child" My mom is like my best friend. I love messing with her.  
"Can I take a drag?"  
My mom laughs "Nice try"  
"I'm stressed!" I protest.  
She gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Get out of the car. Now! Remus"  
"Are you going to abandond me so soon? I need my mommy" I make a pout.  
"Oh now you need me? What about that nonsense of you being a grown up man? Out!" she said practically pushing me. I sight and open the door.  
"I love you sweety! Have a good first day" she says

I don't wear the uniform. It was too bloody expensive. I mean I'm gonna buy it when I get my payment from my job, but for now, I'm wearing my favorite red cardigan and my beige trousers. I hope I'm suitable for Hogwarts.  
As I step in I see a lot of teenagers wandering the corridors. They all look at me strangely. I'm pretty sure is not just the fact that I'm not wearing a uniform, but the scars across my face. I'm not gonna tell you how I got them. That's a story for later.

Hogwarts is bloody enormous. I get lost in the process. I get to a desserted corridor. When a lad comes running towards me.  
"Hey you! Just follow my lead" he says to me. All I can see are his grey eyes.  
"I...mmm..." Before I can say anything we hear a male voice yelling. "Blaaack!!"  
A man with grey hair and a bitter expression comes running after the lad. His face is covered in purple painting and he has feathers everywhere. He is furious.  
"There you are Black!! I know it was you. I know that you did this" he says pointing to himself.  
The guy next to me tries not to laugh.  
"Mr. Filch. Good morning" he says "What happened to you, sir?"  
"Don't play fool Black. I know it was you and Potter"  
Black makes a confused expression.  
"No sir that's impossible. I've been here chatting with my friend all day" and he puts his arm around me.  
"Aaah... Yeah" I say confused  
"Yeah my really good friend..." he looks at me  
"Remus"  
"Remus!" he repeats smirking.  
Mr. Filch seems confused. "That's a lie! I've never seen this kid before" he says looking at me "And he is not wearing the uniform"  
It takes me like two seconds to speak "Well I forgot my uniform but..." I look at the boy trying to figure out his name  
"Sirius" Sirius? Like the constellation?  
"But Sirius and I are really good friends" I say looking at him "We've been chatting all day!" I lie  
"Honestly sir" Sirius continued "How can someone be at two places at once?"  
Mr. Filch grunts but he leaves.

When Mr. Filch disappears from our side, Sirius brusts into laughter. And I get to see him clearly. He has black long hair tied up on a bon. He is wearing a leather jacket on top of his uniform. And he is quite handsome. Wait what? Why do I think that?

"Thanks very much new guy. That was brilliant!" He looks at me up side down.  
"No problem" I say  
"Why aren't you wearing your uniform?" he asks.  
"Aahm" that's a long story but before I can answer another bloke comes stroking.  
"Oh my God, Pads" he says laughing. Both of them hit palms.  
"That was amazing" the lad with glasses continued "You should've seen Miss Umbridge face!" he brusts into laughter again.  
"Best first day back, Prongsie"  
"Best first day back"  
They both laugh for a while. Like I'm not here.  
And I just simply decide to leave. I'm running late a actually.  
"Hey" the boy with glasses calls me "Who are you?"  
"Remus" I say and with that I leave.  
"Who is this lad?" I hear the boy with glasses whisper to Sirius.  
"I don't know"  
"Why isn't he wearing a uniform?"  
"I don't know"  
"Fucking rude" I whisper to myself

I need a few instructions from very rude people to get to the Headmaster's office. I knock the door but I already hear screaming from a woman.  
"Come in" I open the door and I see a grey haired man with a beard behind the desk. He is wearing a grape purple suit. He is also wearing glasses. Next to him is tiny woman wearing the most annoying pink dress. She is covered in the same purple paint as the other teacher, with feathers around her as well. I find myself smiling.  
"Good morning" the man says "You must be the new student"  
"Yes sir" I say smiling  
He stands up "Come walk with me"  
"Albus" the woman starts protesting "I assume you will find the guilty ones of this insolence and punish them. I already told you who I think are the guilty ones"  
"Yes Dolores" the man says coming next to me. "I believe we are going to find a solution. If you may, I must take this student to his class"  
She walks out of the room muttering to herself "Spoiled brats...I hate children"  
"Welcome Mr..."  
"Lupin"  
"Mr. Lupin. My name is Albus Dumbledore. Headmaster of Hogwarts. Welcome. Shall we?" he gestures me to follow him.  
"Yeah" I say as I follow him into the corridors. 

After we walked for a while and I get to see the castle (which is freaking big I might add), the Headmaster touches my shoulder.  
"I'm glad you are here Remus. Can I call you Remus?"  
"Yeah"  
"Let me tell you that your writting impressed me. You are very talented. And you deserve to get a degree in this school"  
"Thank you sir. I'm glad to be here" I actually prefer to be in my old school with my friends. But I can't be an ungrateful brat.  
But the Headmaster is looking behind me.  
"Mr. Pettigrew!" he says.  
I look around to see a blond, short boy walking around. When he notices the Headmaster, he tries to hide the cans of paint he is holding. And I can see his hands are slightly purple. He hides them behind his sleeves.  
"Professor Dumbledore" he says smiling "Good morning"  
Dumbledore smiles like he knows what is happening. "Everything good?"  
"Amm...yeah"  
"Need some help with those cans?"  
"No. Just need this for an art class project"  
"Okay" Pettigrew starts to leave when Dumbledore calls him "Mr. Pettigrew?"  
"Yeah?" he asks nervously  
"Would you take Mr. Lupin to your next class? I believe you are in the same year"  
Pettigrew looks at me in surprise. Like he just notices I'm here. Seriously am I invisible today?  
"Sure" he says  
Dumbledore turns to me "Goodbye Mr. Lupin. And welcome to Hogwarts"

I follow Pettigrew through the corridors. He smiles at me. "I'm Peter Pettigrew by the way"  
"Remus Lupin" I say smiling. This lad is actually very nice. Not like his friends.  
"I would hold your hand but I'm actually caring these" he shows me the cans.  
"It's okay" I say and I laugh.  
"What is it?" he asks me  
"Well it was actually pretty cool, what you and your friends did"  
"I don't know what you're talking about" he says  
I laugh again "Seriously what are you talking about?" he asks sarcastically. And he smiles.  
"Do you think Dumbledore noticed?"  
I smile "No" or maybe he did but he didn't give a damn.  
We stay quiet for a while. Instead I admire how beautiful the castle is. Is like those medieval castles that you would see in paintings. My friends would flip to be here.  
I can tell Peter is looking at me. At my scars more specifically. I'm used to it.  
"How come you're not wearing uniform?"  
Apparently everything that these kids cared about was the uniform.  
"I haven't got a chance to buy it"  
"Oh" he says and we arrive to a classroom "Well this is chemistry with Professor Slughorn. "Good luck with that. I should probably get rid of these before class" he says looking at the cans. I nod.  
I was about to enter the class when Peter spoke.  
"Hey, Remus?" I look at him "Welcome to Hogwarts" and he smiles at me.


	2. Lily

I fell asleep again. God! This shouldn't happen. I wake up to Dudley's giggles. I open my eyes to see his face in front of me. Dudley is only five but he is a little devil.  
"What did you do?" I ask him.  
"Notin'" he answers and giggles.  
"Are you sure Dudley?" I ask "You didn't do anything to your auntie?"  
He giggles even more and I know he did something. Bloody hell. I smile.  
"Such a bad boy!" I say as I kiss him all over his face while he laughs.   
"Don't you have school Lily?" my sister brusts into the room with a very bad temper. Which is almost always.   
"Yeah! I fell asleep" I say as I yawn.  
Petunia looks at me and smiles "You have mustache"  
"What? Aaargg bloody hell!" I stand up to look myself in the mirror and in fact I have a mustache drawn on my face. "Dudley!" I yell.  
Dudley starts laughing even more.   
"Oh come on, Duddles you shouldn't do that. That is the behavior of a bad boy. You want have no ice cream?" Tuney asks  
"Noooo!" Dudley shouts. He is actually a little spoiled. I have tried telling my sister that, but she never listens.   
I make faces at Dudley which makes him smile.   
"C'mon little man I'll take you to your dad's"   
"Leeeeelyyyy!" Dudley shouts.  
"She has to go to school!"  
"Leeeeelyyyy"   
"C'mon Lily I'll drop you at school"  
"Nah. It's okay. I'll take my bike" I just love riding my bike.  
"Well" says Tuney looking at her clock "Hurry up or you're going to be late"   
Sometimes my sister is like my mom. Well she is in fact. Ever since our parents died two years ago, I've lived with her. She got pregnant at the age of 17 (nearly my age) to her boyfriend Vernon and things didn't work between them. I admire her strength, but I will never make the same mistake just to have sex with a bloke.   
"C'mon Duddles" Tuney grabs her son on her arms.   
"Lily!"   
"Okay say goodbye to Lily" she approaches Dudley to me and I kiss his forehead.  
"Bye monkey" I put out my tongue and he does as well.  
"Lily! Bloody hell! Do you want to loose your Scholarship?"  
"Naaah"  
Petunia leaves with Dudley and I look at my watch. "Shit!"

I've been at Hogwarts for four years now. Something I earned for my excellence. Tuney didn't. She was more a party, shopping kind of girl. I quite like Hogwarts. It has nice people. But there are pretty assholes as well. The rich kids. Potter! Aaargg bloody Potter. If I get into that story we will be here for a long time.

The marker didn't come out. I mean I erased the mustache but I have like a black stain there. Shit! I just hope nobody notices.   
It's been a week since the school year started and the gossips at this bloody school run fast. So nope. I don't need to be the mustache girl.

I get at Hogwarts nearly minutes until the first class begins. And I hope I don't run into anyone. Not him please! Please Lord! I must not run into him.

"Oi! Evans!" Shit! Shit why? I see him leaning against his bloody car. The one he brags about all the time. With his bloody friends. Black and Pettigrew.   
I park my bike trying to ignore them. But Potter comes towards me. I cover my face with the school scarf.   
"Hey Evans" says Potter. "You look beautiful today"  
"Heey Potteeer! So nice to see you" I say sarcastically.  
"Really?"  
"No"   
He laughs. "So. I just wanted to say that...amm" he rubs his hair again making it all fluffy. He thinks he is sexy. I think this boy needs a haircut. "I...aww" he sights. He turns to his friends giggling "What was I going to say?"  
Sirius and Peter are laughing really hard.  
"Sorry I just got lost in your eyes" he smiles.   
"Right" I say getting annoyed and actually blushing.   
"Oh yes!" he says "I remember. I was going to say that we should team up for the spelling contest this year"  
I laugh "You're making me laugh Potter"   
Ladies and gentlemen. James Potter besides being a complete wanker, is a complete nerd. And we've been competing at the spelling contest since I got to this school. He always flirts with me but I know is only because he wants to distract me. I'm better than him and he knows it. And also I'm the only girl that had said no to him and he is pissed.  
"I made you laugh?" he asks blushing "Oi Padfoot! I made her laugh!"   
"YES!" Sirius shouts putting his fits on the air and he starts dancing awkwardly. Peter is laughing uncontrollably. I smile.   
"You're an idiot" I say "Okay listen to me Potter!" I look into his eyes and looks into mine. He melts.  
"Yes beautiful?"  
"I'm never doing anything with you. EVER!"  
Potte grabs his chest. "Aaargg my heart!"  
Sirius and Peter approach. "I think Evans broke your heart again mate" Sirius says putting an arm around him.   
"Noo! Let me pick up the pieces" says Peter kneeling to the floor and pretending to pick something. Sirius laughs.  
"You guys are too weird"  
"Oi! Evans. Why are you wearing that scarf?" Sirius asks me. Shit! I forgot about the stain.   
"I'm cold!"   
"It's pretty hot here" Peter says  
"Oi! Leave her alone!" Potter says winking at me.   
"Oh, take that off!"   
"No!"  
"Prongs wants to see your beautiful face"  
"Oi! Leave me alone!"  
"Hey! Hey! Freaks. Leave the lady alone. It's just a scarf" Potter says as he rips it off.  
"Noo! Potter!" I say as I cover my mouth.   
"Evans got a mustache!" Sirius cracks up.   
"Aaaw. Lils I thinks is adorable" says Peter laughing.  
"Shut up!" I say "My little nephew did this to me"  
"Shut up! Wankers. My Lils always looks beautiful" but Potter was smiling.  
I show them my middle finger and get my scarf back. "Fuck you all" and I leave  
"Oi! Evans!" But I don't turn back. Wankers.

Miss Pomfrey, the school nurse gave me a cream to erase the sting. So no more laughing for the rest of the day. I go to the Library that afternoon to do homework since at home with Dudley is impossible. Though he is going to stay with Vernon, I quite like the library. I sit at my usual table and get my books out of my bag. And I see a note.  
'For Lily 🌸'  
I smile to myself. Sev. Severus is my childhood friend. The person I love the most, after my sister and Dudley. We practically grew up together. And attended school together but since I came here we don't see each other as often. Sure, I see him the weekends but is not the same. I think he goes around with the bad crew. Some lads that my sister reckons sell drugs. He assured me he is not into that. And I believe him. But I miss him. I open the note.

'Lily, I spent all the day in our swings. I remembered when you fell and I cured you' 

I smile at the memory 

'Hope you have a wonderful week. See ya on Friday!   
Sev'

Severus always leaves me notes or flowers around. He is really cool. My thoughts are interrupted by a loud noice. I look around to see a bloke. I think is the new kid. He just dropped a lot of books. Many people look at him furious but they don't help him. How rude. The lad is blushing.  
"Shh" says Miss Pince, the librarian. What a bitch! Is not his fault.   
"Of course this happens to you Remus!" he mutters to himself.   
I stand up to help him.   
"Thanks" he says  
I smile. "You are welcome"  
"I'm really clumsy, Jesus!"   
"Happens to me a lot"   
"You're just lying to me, to make me feel not so clumsy"  
"Okay, that had never happened to me before" I smile  
He laughs.   
Miss Pince hushes us again. So we sat at the table.  
"I'm Remus Lupin by the way"  
"Lily Evans. So you are the knew guy"   
"Yeah. Am I too obvious? Is it because I'm not wearing the uniform?"  
"Yeah. You're the no uniform bloke now. You really know how to stand out" I say laughing  
"Well I haven't been able to buy the uniform for God's sake"  
"Scholarship?"   
"Yeah" he says "I presume your not a rich girl, then?"  
"No. Thank God" I smile at him "Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Being among rich I mean"  
"You reckon?"  
"I mean these kids don't know what is like to work your butt out for what you want" I say very pissed "They just snap their fingers and they get what they want"  
Remus laughs "How many of us are there?"  
"Only a few each year. You, me and Reginald are the only ones in our year"  
"Who?"   
"You don't know anyone, right?"   
He shakes his head  
"I thought you were already friends with Pettigrew"   
"He is nice. But his friends..." he opens his eyes and I understand exactly what he means. Potter and Black.   
"I know right?" I say as I grab his arm "Try spending four years with them"  
"Noo! Poor you!!" he laughs "Anyway I get along more with birds. All my friends are basically girls"  
"Well I think I get along better with blokes" I smile to him.  
"I think we make a pretty good team, Lily Evans"  
"I guess we do, Remus Lupin"   
And we laugh making Miss Pince get angry again.


	3. Sirius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Trigger Warning of Violence at the end. Sorry!

History class is so bloody boring. And Prongs is looking at Evans again. I roll my eyes. She is not even that beautiful. There's Emmeline, Coraline, and Alecto. They are beautiful. I see them looking at me and I wink. I love making them blush. It gives me power.   
"Oi! Prongs. Do you want a cup?" I whisper to him.  
"What?"   
I smile "You're drooling. You've been watching Evans the whole class. And we've been stuck here like an hour"   
"Twenty minutes Pads" he sights "I just can't stop thinking about her" he drops his head on the desk.  
"What about your obsession with Princess Leia?"   
"Shut up!" I smile   
"I don't want to just flirt with her because is fun, you know?" he says "Like the other day, I was laying in bed and suddenly started thinking about her. And I had a" he looks at his pants "you know"   
I laugh so hard covering my mouth.   
"Mr. Black, please" says Professor Binns "Sorry" I say.  
The professor continues to give the lecture.  
"That never has happened to you?" James asks   
"What? Having a boner?"   
James rolls his eyes. "Thinking about someone, you know? Romantically?"  
I've known James practically my whole life. He has always been a sensible lad. He never wants to admit it but he cried when we saw 'Love Story'. Anyway, I never believed he would fall for someone like Evans.   
"Romantically? No thank God!" I haven't in fact fallen in love with anyone. I don't believe in that shit.  
"Anyway, I just have a good feeling about me and Evans" he says  
I look at Peter, he is fast asleep next to me. This kid has the energy of freaking seal.  
"Peter is sleeping again" I say.  
"Anyone would sleep with Mr. Binns"  
I nod as I see the new bloke sitting next to Lily. They'd been pretty close lately. Prongs was getting pretty jelaous, insulting him. I haven't spoke with him since our first day when he helped me scape from Filch.   
"What do you reckon is the deal with the new kid?" I ask looking at him. He is secretly reading a book on his lap. He started wearing the uniform this week and he wears it correctly. The way is supposed, which is something no one does.   
"I don't know but he better stays away from my Lily" James answers  
"How do you think he got those scars?"  
"I don't know. Maybe he got into a fight. Or maybe he has a very big cat. Who bloody cares?" I drop the topic but I'm actually very curious.  
"Oi! I'm organizing you a birthday party at my house next week. My parents will not be there"  
I hummed in protest. I hate birthdays, my birthdays specifically.   
"Before you say no, I was thinking we can get some boose"   
"You use me for mean purposes"  
James grinnes.

After school I spent as much time as I can at James'. Before dinner with the family. Because honestly I hate the lot of them. Well Reggie not so much. I grab my motorbike which I bought with my own money and my mother hates. I ride it to our house. Grimmaund Place is a very large house at London. Not quite as big as James' but still. I know that people would kill to live in a house like this, but bloody hell I hate being rich. 

I get in and many servants are working too hard to get the house impecable. I sight.   
"Sirius! Good you're here" my mother looks at me like a smelly old shoe. "Take that ridiculous jacket off you and go to change. Your uncle and auntie will be here soon" I stay there "C'mon!" she yells at me "Hurry up!"  
I take out my jacket. My favorite leather jacket.  
"How are you son? Good day school? Want anything for your birthday?" I muttered   
"What was that?"   
"Nothing"  
I go to the living room grabbing a bit of food from the plates without being seen. And I find Reggie, my two years younger brother playing the piano again. He loves it.   
"Hi Reggie who is the cutest brother ever?" I yell as I attack his hair and his his cheeks.  
"Aaaaargg! Sirius!" he wipes my saliva from his cheeks "Disgusting!"   
I smile. I try to touch his hair again but he won't let me. "Don't you dare! I hate you!"  
"You love me" I say as I kiss his head. He protests again and I run to my room.

Dinner at The Blacks is quite boring. They would talk about politics, economics and shit I get at school. And I say 'they' as I'm not part of this bullshit. The table consists of my parents Orion and Walburga, my uncle Cygnus and my aunt Druella. My cousins are not here at the moment. They are at Uni studying to be the next perfect Black Generation. Bella the eldest is married to a very rich business man, Lestrange. She hates him and I have heard rumors about Bella kissing girls at pubs. I don't know if it's true, but I like to piss her off with that. Andy is the second. She is actually dating a musician. Ted's band is pretty cool. But nobody knows she's with him. And Cissy that is stick to her bloody boyfriend Lucius, 24/7. Seriously they snog in my face all the time. 

I'm bored and the food is terrible so I start playing with the cutlery. And showing Reggie my mouth full. Or making faces while they speak. Reggie is trying not to laugh.   
"Sirius stop it!" mother says  
"What?" I play innocent. But I continue to make him laugh.   
My father hits the table "Sirius that's enough!"  
Reggie doesn't look at me after that, he is afraid of him.   
"Shame, Sirius. You should respect your superiors. You're not a fucking child" says auntie Druella  
"Sorry auntie" I whisper. But I put out my tongue when she doesn't see me.

After the most painful dinner ever, I go and smoke at my window. My parents don't know I smoke. They would kill me. Someone opens my door and I hide the cig. But it's Reggie.  
"Bloody hell! You scared me" I say.  
"You should lock up your door when you do that" Reggie comes and sits next to me.  
"Can I have a drag?"   
I laugh. "No way you're just a baby"  
"I'm not a baby!"  
"You are"  
"You started at the same age! Is not fair!"  
I laugh  
"Barty smokes, you know?" Barty is Reggie's best friend.  
"You do everything that Barty does?"   
"Noo" I like to piss him off. He hates it when I do it.  
I give him the cig and he smiles. He takes a drag and immediately coughs.  
I laugh hard "Told ya! Lungs of a baby" I touch his back and he pushes me away "Oi!"   
"Potter invited me to your party"  
"Bloody hell!" I specifically told James I didn't want a party and he is already inviting people.   
"I told him you don't like birthday parties"  
"It's like he is not my bloody best friend!" I protest  
"Are you going?" I ask him  
"Only if you are going. If not what's the bloody point"  
"You can see James" I laugh "I just remembered the last time you were at the Potter's you peed yourself"   
Regulus rolls his eyes "Oh shut up! I was like eight"  
"You were ten!"  
"James doesn't remember that, does he?"  
"I'll make sure he does" I say grinning. Regulus punches my arm.

Suddenly I hear my father yelling my name. And I turn down the cig, putting on some lotion to hide the smell. And I come downstairs. He is in the living room with mother. He is having a cigar while she smokes.  
"Father..." BAM! He hits me. Half of my face hurts now.  
"You don't know how to behave, do you?"   
I don't respond. "Your uncle can get you into a good University. You can have a future! Not waste everything! Do you understand?" he yells at me.  
I want to yell at him. I really do but I make a fist sticking the nails into my palm.   
"M' sorry" I murmured.  
I look at mother but she is looking beyond with her eyes lost.  
"This is your fault Walburga. That's why your son is the way he is. You spoil them too much. You're a bad mother"  
My mother throws the ashtray to the wall and it brakes in a million pieces.  
"This is my fault is it?" she yells "EVERYTHING IS MY BLOODY FAULT. YOU FOOL! LOOK AT YOURSELF!"

My parents start fighting and shouting and I leave to my room with tears in my eyes. In the way, I see Reggie. He looks worried, but I give him a big smile before locking myself in my room.  
As I lay in the dark I see a scar in my arm. A scar my father gave me many years before. And I think about the new kid. Where are his scars from?


	4. James

I would do anything for my best mate. Of course I'm going to organize the best birthday party for him. Even if he doesn't want it. We are graduating next year and maybe go to different Unis. We would always be friends of course but it will not be the same. So I want to spend as much time with my friends as possible. Enjoy our youth.

I'm chatting with the girls before football practice (Em, Alec and Cora), and Amycus, Alecto's twin brother who only hangs out with the girls (and he acts and dresses like a girl sometimes) Anyway."So my parents won't be home this weekend and we can party all night. Ladies, and Amycus, do I count with you?" I run my fingers through my hair again. Is just a tic I have. Mom hates it because my hair immediately goes wild. But I kind of like my hair like that.They all look at me puzzled. "Is for Sirius birthday!""Sweetheart, the real question is" Amycus starts "Do any of us have a chance with Sirius?" "Amycus, Sirius is not gay" says Alecto Amycus sights "Well that's a boomer. He is delicious" The girls laugh and I watch Sirius. He is stretching out on the field with nothing but shorts. Yeah, Sirius body is really fit. I can see what they would see on him... Snap out of it James, you are straight, in love with Evans and he is your best friend!

"Anyway... We can find out at the party. I would make sure Sirius has a dance with each one of you" I wink. Sirius is going to hate me for this. They all smile."I don't think I should go, Jamie" says Emmeline. She has been offly quiet. "Why?""Because the last time I was there, it wasn't nice" she says looking at the floor and grabbing her arms.I remember that day. When Em broke up with me. We dated for a while a year ago. I loved snogging her, a lot. And then she said I was too immature and that she needed someone older. She's dating Mulciber now. The wanker of Nicolai Mulciber! Anyway I'm over her. Now I fancy Lily."Em! It's okay. I'm so over the fact that you broke my heart" I wipe invisible tears from my face.She smiles "I don't want it to be awkward. I know that you don't like Nicky"I don't! God I hate that bloke. "It's fine, really" I smile"You two are a tragic story" says Cora sighting."Well I'll see on Friday then" as I go to the field"We didn't say we were coming!" shouts Alecto but I wink at them. They definitely will. That group of gossipers wouldn't miss a party for all the money in the world.

After practice we are so bloody tired that Sirius and I lie down on the wet grass. "Now thanks to you I'm the new celebrity of Hogwarts" Sirius says out of breath "Wanker! I told you I didn't want this bloody party!""Well" I say breathing hard "It's already done, fucking asshole. Besides you deserve it. So shut up"Sirius rolls his eyes. "I hate you!""You love me" I say smiling.

After a long shower and I large lunch, Sirius, Peter and I decide to take a walk by the fountain to smoke, without the teachers catching us. When we got there I spot Lily and the new bloke sitting there laughing at something. I can't avoid being jelaous. Does he fancy her? Does she fancy him?"Oi!" I say to my friends "I'm gonna invite Evans to the party"Sirius laughs and inhales his cig."I don't think she would like to go" Peter says taking the cig."You don't know that!" I protest "Anyways we can invite the new kid as well""His name is Remus" says Peter giving me the cig."Whatever" I'm really curious to invite him to find out what are his intentions with my Evans. "Besides I think Sirius would like it. He's been taking about that boy non-stop""Haven't!" Sirius says taking the cig from my hand"Do you fancy him?" I say smirking and Peter laughs."Jesus Christ James! I'm not gay" he says "I'm just curious. He is bloody mysterious""Exactly! We need to invite him to find out about what are his intentions" I sayPeter rolls his eyes "Seriously bloody paranoic wankers! He is really nice"But I ignore Peter going towards them "Oi Evans!" The lads come after me.

She stops laughing when she looks at me and hides her face on Remus' shoulder. "Oh no please hide me"I try not to be offended. "Oh hi James!" she says sarcastically. I smile."Hi beautiful" she rolls her eyes "Hi No Uniform" I say looking at Remus. That was the nickname our whole year gave to him."Hi Lily, hi Remus" says Peter smiling"Evans! No Uniform!" says Sirius as he drops the cig to the floor."My name is Remus. But I think that's trash. I think I should change my name to No Uniform instead" Lily laughs. And I get angry."So, No Uniform" Sirius continues "Remus..."Sirius ignores him. "I never thank you for saving me from Filch that day. You rock!" Sirius winks at him and he blushes. "You're welcome I guess""So I'm having a birthday party on Friday" Sirius continues. Oh now he likes his party. What is he doing? "Would you like to come?""You're having a birthday party?" Lily asks"Amm... I was talking to No Uniform?""Sirius!" I hit his arm and he laughs "Joking! Of course you are invited Evans, James would be thrilled if you come"Lily rolls his eyes. "Whatever. I have something to do on Friday anyway" "What?" I ask genuinely upset."So Remus? Would you come?" asks Peter."Yeah it would be cool to have you No Uniform" Sirius says winking."Amm..." he says looking between us and Lily but before he answers I speak."So No Uniform, can I ask you a question? How come you have those scars on your face?" 

Shit. I know that is rude but I'm really pissed at him. I don't know why!

"James!" Peter says"Is none of your business" he says looking down"I just think is really weird""Prongs!" Sirius says "Sorry about that! He is very clumsy when he speaks specifically in front of Evans"Lily looks at me with disgust. Shit."It's okay" Remus answers "But you know what? I think I won't be able to go to your party" he stands up. "Let's go Lils" Lils??"Yeah. Let's go Rem" she says. Rem? They use nicknames now? They grab hands and go inside the castle. I feel a knot in my throat."Fuck James! What the bloody hell was that?" Sirius asks. He is angry."Weren't you guys curious?""Yes! But that's not a thing to ask someone!" Peter protests."Now none of them will go to the party" Sirius says leaving. Peter goes after him.I kick the fountain out of frustration. Shit what is wrong with me?  
Is Friday the last class of the day and I am staring at Lily trying to figure out how to apologise to her. How to convince her to go to the party. I really want her there. I keep fucking things up with Lily. I freaking love her (I think?) And she hates me. But when the class is dismissed, she runs out of the class leaving her school scarf behind.I pick it up. It smells like flowers. I ran to the entrance to catch her. Maybe give her the scarf back. But when I get there, I see Lily hugging a bloke. He has greasy long hair and a really large nose. He smiles at her and they leave together. I sight still holding her scarf.


	5. Peter

Emmeline Vance is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Pale skin, black hair and golden eyes. And she is wearing a salmon dress. I've been in love with her since I was 11. We share Art class. I love drawing and she loves painting. And she defended me when Malfoy said my drawing looked like a creature from hell. I've never said anything to her because I suck at flirting not like James and Sirius. And last year she dated James. She seemed really into him, so I didn't say anything. But when they broke up, I selfishly thought I had a chance, but then she started dating Mulciber. He is not only a year older but he is thick and he can kick my ass anytime.

Em is sad. Her boyfriend is nowhere to be seen. I see how she looks at her friends dance but she doesn't. The Potter's house is enormous. We are at the back where the Potter's have their own social room. With a kitchen, a freaking pool and a beautiful view of the countryside. Sirius party is a success and mostly the whole school came. Sirius is drunk dancing with Cora I think. I'm currently smoking my fourth cig at the kitchen's window. And James arrives pouring himself another drink.

"Bloody hell! I want to get DRUNK" he says while he takes a sip of his drink.I smile. "Why are you wearing the school scarf on a weekend?" James hates the uniform. He immediately takes it off when he leaves school. "It's awesome!" he says as he takes a sniff of it "And smells great!" I look at him puzzled. Maybe he is drunk already. "I'm gonna go and dance!" James says and he joins Sirius. They start dancing ridiculously while Cora looks annoyed. I laugh at those assholes. "Hi Peter!" I look around to see Regulus and Barty coming in."Hi! Reggie!" I really like him. We both bonded last summer over classic music. Regulus, as Sirius says is like an old school. He loves music only my grandpa would listen. And I quite like classics as well."Hi Barty""Pettigrew"

"Aaaaaaw!! My little baby brother is here!" Sirius hugs his brother and kisses him everywhere."Aaargg gettooff!" he says "Sirius we are on public""I love you Bro!" Sirius hugs him again ignoring him."Hi Reggie" says James smiling "Looking good tonight" Regulus was wearing a Beatles t-shirt. The Beatles is James' favorite band. Ever. Regulus blushes. "You look good too James" he says and goes even more red. "James stop flirting with my brother!" Sirius says as he drags Regulus to the dance floor."Oh shut up. I'm not!" James protests. Reggie blushes again.

"Oi! Pettigrew" Barty says taking a little bag out of his pocket "Do you think I can sell this here?"The bag contains little pills. "Shit, Crouch you sell drugs now?" I whisper as I put his hand down."What? Is a really good business""You're bloody rich""Well my dad is not giving money anymore. That bloody wanker!" I look at Regulus dancing awkwardly with Sirius. Pads is all party and chaos while Reg is shy and hates this kind of reunions."You didn't drag Regulus into this, right?" I ask Barty "Sirius would kill you""Regulus is free to do as he will. If you excuse me, I'll go and make money" and he sneaks through the crowd.

I get off the window willing to dance with Emmeline perhaps. Have some fun. When I see Remus and two girls beside him entering the party. I smile and go to them."How can people be so bloody rich when others simply starve" a girl dark skin with curls is speaking looking at James' house "Is not fair. I will protest against it"Remus and a blond tall girl laugh."Hi Remus!" I say smiling "I thought you weren't coming""Hi Peter" he says "Well, I weren't but these two dragged me" he points to his friends."Actually, he wanted to come. He was really curious" the blond girl spoke "I'm Marlene""I'm Dorcas" said the other girl"Hi! I'm Peter" "Peter is my classmate" Remus says "Actually the only nice bloke at Hogwarts"I laugh "Not everyone is bad"

"NO WAY!" Sirius came towards us so drunk he doesn't even walk properly "NO UNIFORM IS AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!" he yells and hugs Remus. He blushes."Forget what I said" I tell the girls and they laugh."Hi Sirius Black" says Remus obviously laughing at him."Peter!" Sirius says "He knows my name!" I smile. "Yeah""So you are the birthday boy!" Marlene says "Oh! Hello!" Sirius says looking at her upside down "Cute, you also brought cute girls, No Uniform""She is also my girlfriend" Dorcas speaks really pissed."OOOH" Sirius says and the turns to James "Oi! Prongs! There are cute lesbians on my Birthday Party!" Everyone look at the three new comers."Come dance with me girls. Because love is love and all that shit" Sirius grabs the two girls to the dance floor.

James comes as well "Hi! No Uniform!" "In case you forgot is Remus""I'm sorry for what I said to you. Really" James sounds geniune. "You're welcome to my house and to my party"Remus looks at him but smiles "We are really good people" James continues putting an arm around me "Aren't we Wormtail?" "Uuuh yes!" I say sarcastically and Remus laughs"It's okay" he says "So can we be friends No Uniform?" James asks"Maybe if you start calling me Remus?""Whatever you say No Uniform" and the three of us laugh.

It has been like two hours and Remus friends are getting along with my friends. Also they are drunk as hell."So why don't you drink?" Remus asks. Apparently we are the only ones sobber."I don't like the sensation. You?""Many bad things can happen with alcohol" he says "Like that" James is taking his shirt off and jumping to the pool. We both laugh.Sirius is dancing with Marlene and Dorcas but he is being too flirty with Marlene. And suddenly he kisses her. Making Dorcas leave pissed.

"Oh shit! Dorki!" Remus goes after her.

I see how Marlene pushes Sirius away and slaps him on the face and she runs after her girlfriend and Remus. Oh shut.

Then Emmeline comes. She smiles at me and I smile at her too. My heart jumps inside me. Shit. "No Mulciber?" I ask"Nicky couldn't come" she sights "Something of last minute" I nod."I think I'm gonna go now" she says "Too many drunk people""I can walk with you if you want" I say without thinking and she nods. I blush.

I take my jacket and leave with her. There's no point saying goodbye to my friends they are really drunk to care and Sirius is sleeping at James' so it's fine.

Outside we can see Dorcas and Marlene fighting. Then Marlene grabs her girlfriend and kisses her passionetly. Remus leaves them alone coming to the door."Is everything okay?" I ask him "Sirius was really drunk. I bet he will not remember any of that" Sirius is an idiot but I will always defend my friend."Yeah! Marly and Dorki always fight and make up really quickly" he says "I think we'd better go though. I'm gonna get my coat" "Okay, Remus bye""Bye" says Em politely"Bye guys" he says.

As we pass the kissing girlfriends I can see Em looking at them. "What?" I ask her"Nothing" she says "Is that I've never seen two girls kissing before""And are you okay with that?" "Yeah. I mean I'm friends with Amycus. But I've never seen him kissing another bloke. Is weird. Besides my parents wouldn't approve if I were gay""My mom wouldn't approve as well" I mean I think she would as long as the bloke is handsome and fit.

I walk Em to her house. My heart pounding fast. And at her doorstep she says goodbye and kiss my cheek which makes me go red.

I get home and I see mom in the leaving room. He is checking a very weird painting of some boobs. Pierre is my mom's french boyfriend and the reason we are rich. He is an artist and his art is basically sexual things. It makes me angry that he is so bloody famous with that. I want to be an artist one day. A real one. "Aaaaaaw yes! Argt at it's finest" Richard was saying "Mon amour! Youg boobs arg goin' to be famous!" Aaargg disgusting. Those are my mom's boobs?"Hi Mom!" I say awkwardly "Hi Pierre""Hello""Hi Peter" she kisses my cheek "How was the party?""I mean great""You didn't drink, did you?" She asks "You know that is bad for you and alcohol makes you fat""No I didn't drink" I say "I'm gonna go to bed""Peter don't forget your daily pushups" she says"I'm bloody tired" I protest. And I walk here! That's enough excercise!"Peter beauty is pain. You need to get your body fit!"I nod and I get to my dorm. But instead of doing the pushups I fall asleep with my clothes on.


	6. Remus

I'm kind of friends with the boys now. They always ask me to sit with them or they rub my hair. They still call me No Uniform which is bloody annoying, except for Peter. And I'm angry at Sirius for causing tension between my friends relationship. Eventhough he had apologised too many times. He says he doesn't remember that he was too drunk. Seeing him kissing Marly really pissed me off.  
It's been a week from the party incident and I'm with Marly seating at the bleachers watching Dorcas play volleyball. As she always do on Saturdays. She is in a professional team and all. I try to spend as much time with these girls to not loose our friendship for being in different school.   
Dorcas thows the ball and her team wins a point.   
"YES BABY!" Marlene shouts   
"Has she already forgave you?" I ask  
"Of course she has" she sights "Besides it wasn't my bloody fault. It was your rich friend who kissed me"  
"Sirius is not my friend"   
"He is really handsome though"   
"Marlene McKinnon!" I yell smiling  
"What? He is! I'm not blind!" Marly laughs "But I'm too in love with that dork" she looks at Dorcas.  
I smile.  
"I know you been hanging around with those rich wankers, Remus"  
"Haven't"  
"Are you going to replace us?" looking at me through her heart shaped sunglasses.   
"Never!" Marly smiles.  
"Besides I'm really angry at Sirius" I say "Don't worry I won't speak to him"   
"Why?"  
"Because he kissed you! In front of your girlfriend"  
Marlene laughs "He was drunk. I'm sure he didn't mean it. Besides I'm irresistible"  
I roll my eyes.  
The match ends and Dorcas comes sweaty with a big smile on her.  
"You were good babe" Marly says as she tries to kiss her girlfriend but she pushes away. "Not here, you know my couch is homophobic"  
"That's enough reason for me!" says Marly "Besides I think that wanker has a crush on you"  
I smile I secrety love how cute and jelaous they are. It was so hard for both to admit they like girls and each other. And when they are in public, they have to hide. Is so bloody unfair.   
"Okay" says Dorki "I'll take a shower and we can go and meet your friend"  
"The one he is replacing us with!" Marly says and I laugh

An hour later, we arrive at The Leaky Cauldron, our favorite coffee place at London. We were supposed to meet Lily there because my friends were dying to meet her. Because according to Marly, I talk too much about her. As we get in, we say hi to Frank. His family owns the shop. He is a 21 year old lad with a lot of dreams and unfortunately, he doesn't have the money to study Uni or travel or whatever.  
"Hiya! Frank!" I say to him.  
He just smiles he is with a costumer. We sit at our favorite table waiting for Lily to arrive. Marlene and Dorcas sit together and hold hands.   
"So, Remus do you have a crush on this Lily character?" Marlene asks grinning.  
"Marly!" Dorcas says "You know he is love with Tonks"  
"You know she broke up with me" I say looking down "And took my heart with her"  
My friends make a sad face "But is okay. I'm over love. And Lily is just my friend!"  
Lily comes into the shop. When she sees me, she smiles and I smile back.   
"Hi Remus!" she seats next to me kissing my cheek   
"Hi Lils" I cough "Girls this is Lily Evans, Lily these are my friends Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes"  
"Hi! is a pleasure" says Lily smiling  
"So you are the mysterious Lily" Marly says  
"He talks about you all the bloody time" Dorki adds.  
"I don't" I say blushing. Lily laughs "Well he talks about you all the time. He really likes you"  
"Oh does he?" Marly says raising her eyebrows.  
I put out my tongue for her. She laughs.   
Lily sees a girl entering the shop. She has brown dark hair, green eyes and she is wearing red lipstick. I think I've seen her before. Lily gestures hello, and the girl gestures back smiling. She sits on another table.  
"Who's that?" I ask. My friends turn to look at her.  
"Alice Fortescue" Lily says "She's a year older than us. She graduates this year. She is really nice"  
"And hot!" Marlene adds  
"Marly stop being so gay!" I say   
"And stop checking every girl besides me!" Dorcas protests. Marlene gives her a kiss on the cheek.   
"So Lily, do you have a problem with lesbians?" "Marlene!" I protest   
"What? I need to know!"  
Lily laughs "Of course not. I don't see how people can't see that love is love no matter between who it is"   
"I like you already" says Marly and Lily blushes.  
"So you are a scholarship kid at Hogwarts?" Dorcas asks Lily  
"Yeah!" Lily answers "One of the few"  
"Disgusting" "How lucky" Marlene and Dorcas speak at the same time.  
"Babe!" Dorcas punches "Hogwarts is a really good school. I would really like to go if I have the chance. Do you think they'd give a sport scholarship?"  
"Sure! I guess" Lily says  
"And I would trade my place with you anytime Dorki" I say.  
"Why? You are at Hogwarts! You should be grateful" Dorcas says  
"Not when those three assholes torture you!"  
"Oh c'mon Re, you like them" says Marly  
"Lily gets me, don't you?"   
"Yeah" Lily says "Really"  
"I don't like that Sirius much" Dorcas mutters to herself.   
"Well ladies" I say "I'm ordering coffee for everyone"   
"Thanks sweetheart" says Marly  
"I'm gonna say hi to Alice for a bit" Lily says.

As I go to the counter, Lily goes to Alice's table.  
"Hello Hogwarts lad!" Frank greets me smiling  
"Not so loud Frankie" he laughs.  
"The usual coffees?" he asks. I nod "And add a cappuccino please"  
Frank starts preparing the coffees. "Oi! Rem. Don't mind me asking, but do you know that girl?"  
"Who Lily? The ginger one?"  
"No! The other one" he says smiling and blushing "God! She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!"  
I laugh "Not seriously. I think I'm gonna marry her. She is the love of my life Remus"  
"Okaaay" I say smiling "She is a Hogwarts girl you know?"   
"Do you think she would go out with me?"  
I raise my shoulders "Ask her"   
"Sure I will" Frank coughs getting out of his thoughts "Coffee for my friends" he says   
"Thanks Frank" I say holding the tray  
"Oi! Is it true Marly kissed a rich lad?"   
I laugh "That's a long story"  
"You tell me later"

I grab the coffees and sat in the table. I see Frank going with a big smile to Alice's table and he begins chatting with her. Lily leaves them alone. Frank is blushing but he doesn't stop talking. And Alice laughs at something he says. They are so cute.   
"I think our little Frankie is in love" Marly smiles.   
We all do. And we continue to chat over coffee.

After a long couple of hours with my friends I go back home. Mom is not there. She is working late tonight. I sight because I remember I have to pack to go to my dad's next week. He don't have the best relationship. Ever since the accident. And him and mom felt out of love so quickly after that. I don't want to get into many details. That's a story for another day.

When I get into my room I see her. Dora. I miss her so much. Dora was my best friend who eventually become my girlfriend. Nymphadora (I know, she has a weird name which she hates) Tonks was the love of my life. I honestly thought we were endgame and then she broke up with me. She said she was sure I was going to change at Hogwarts. And that I was gonna dump her. Stupid girl. She doesn't know how much I love her.  
"Dora!" I say smiling  
"Hi nerd" she says. I run to hug her.  
I have tears in my eyes. "What are you doing here creep?"  
"Your mom let me in. Don't worry I didn't brake into your house" I laugh and kiss her. I know we broke up but she doesn't stop me. She kisses me back.  
"Can we hang out as before?" I nod.

We lay in my bed. As we used to. After joking around, me trying to tickle her, and kissing each other a lot, we just rest.   
I stroke her pink hair. She changes her hair color mostly every two weeks. She has tried a lot of colors. I love her in every single one of them.   
"How's Hogwarts?" she asks   
"Pretty shitty" I don't lie to her. With her, I always speak how I feel. She laughs.   
"Pretty unfortunate" she says "I'm quite sure you get really well with the rich kids"  
"Oh yeah!" I say sarcastically  
"Tell me about them" she insists. I smile.  
"Well there's Lily. She is this ginger girl, too kind with everyone, good with kids, has a scholarship and she is hot as fuck" Dora pushes me jealous "Kidding" I laugh "There's Peter a blond nice lad. He is rich but doesn't show it. He is tired all the time. There's James. He loves football and he acts super tough and rich but he is so sensible and romantic. And he fancies Lily. And Sirius..." I don't have words to describe him. I just don't. "He is basically an idiot" but he is more than that, I know.  
Dora laughs "Sounds like you are really close to them"  
"No I don't like them"  
"But you do! The way you describe them. You like them!"  
"Don't!"  
"Do!"  
"Well Lily"  
"The boys too!"  
"Nope"  
"Yes! You are becoming one of them. See? I told you. You are changing" But I'm the same.   
I laugh "Yeah! Me. Right Nymphadora" she punches my shoulder. She hates when I call her that.   
"Call me Tonks. You fucking asshole!"   
"Dora" I say and she laughs.  
"I'm gonna miss you" she sights putting her head on my chest.  
"We can see each other on the weekends" I say "Mom is not usually here, so we can shag" she laughs "or kiss, or watch a movie as friends. Or whatever you bloody want"  
"Remus..."  
"We are forever Dora" I say pleading "We don't need to brake up"  
"Rem"  
"I can introduce you to the rich assholes if you want"   
"Remus! I'm leaving"  
Silence. What? Leaving where?   
"What? Where?" I sit down facing her. She sits as well but avoids my gaze.  
"Dad got a job at Australia. I'm coming with him"  
"No. Dora.."  
"I've been searching Unis at Sidney. They look awesome"  
"You said you would hate to go to Uni"   
"I hated Unis here. Because I had to settled to the same one dad was in, because we didn't have money. There, I might have a change. There are really good places and dad is going to earn more money"  
I start crying.  
"He seems really excited about something" Dora has tears in her eyes "Nothing excited him in a long time. Not since mom died"   
I remember Mr. Tonks being really sad. I really like him. And I want him to do okay. But I don't want Dora to go. But is too selfish to ask her to stay.  
"I thought we were gonna get married" I say between tears.  
She smiles "You are such dork" and she cries.  
"I love you" I say. I know I'm too young to know this things but it's true I love her.  
"I love you too" she says.   
"When do you leave?" I ask  
"Tomorrow" and I hug her crying.

We shag one more time. And then I say goodbye to her with a really long kiss. Shit. My heart is broken. I don't think I would ever fall for someone as I fell for her. As I watch her go tears run down my cheeks. Dora gets to the corner and turns back to see me "Oi! Looser!" she screams smiling. I smile to her.  
' I LOVE YOU' she says only with her lips. 'I LOVE YOU' I say back. And with a big smile on her face she disappears.

I'm not gonna lie. I cried a lot the whole weekend. I listened to sad music. I ate a lot of ice cream. It didn't help. On Monday I'm miserable. I just keep remembering all the good moments I had with her.   
"Oi! No Uniform" Sirius comes towards me.   
He rubs my hair.   
"I bought you some chocolate" he says giving me a bar "Evans said this one is your favorite?" It's true my drug is chocolate. I can eat them all day. And I really love this one.  
"Why would you buy me chocolate?" I ask  
"Because I fucked it up the other night" he says "I promise I don't remember half of that night. I swear"  
I smile. I honestly forgot about that.   
"Okay"   
"You're really lucky, No Uniform" he says "I don't do anything like this for any girl. Just you" he winks.  
I blush. He needs to stop making those jokes.   
"Can we be friends now?" he asks smirking  
"Why do want to be my friend?" I ask. He is one of the most popular lads at Hogwarts. His family is really well known. And he is bloody rich. I'm not rich.   
"Because" he says "You are bloody cool! You look like a badass with those scars (I'm not asking) and you are really funny. James and Peter seem to like you already"  
"You guys are really strange"  
He laughs. "I'll be your friend with one condition" I say , he looks at me. "You have to stop calling me No Uniform and call me Remus. R.E.M.U.S, Remus"   
He laughs "And you have to buy me more chocolate, since you're rich" he laughs even more.  
"Okay Rem, Remmy, Remmu, whatever you want!" he kisses my head and rubs my hair again.  
"Now, c'mon let's sit together at Math. I like annoying Minnie" he says holding my arm.  
"Who?"  
"Professor McGonagall" he says smiling "She is my queen". I laugh. And we go to class.


	7. Lily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Home Violence

I take Dudley to the swings. It's almost Christmas so is snowy. Dudley likes the snow. And he loves the swings. Just like I used to like them when I was a kid. I miss my parents on December because it was the most beautiful month for us. Dad loved to decorate and Mom loved baking cookies. We had a lot of fun. I sight. I'm seating at the bench watching Dudley play. I see Sev coming towards me and I smile. He loves wearing black clothes and he is using sunglasses.  
"Hi Lils" he kisses my cheek.  
"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" I ask  
"What? Is freaking cool. I look cool" I know for a fact that Sev' doesn't give a shit about his looks.  
"Is cold. There's not even sunshine"  
He raises his shoulders. I take out his sunglasses carefully and there I see it. Severus has a purple bruse on his eye. Surrounding his freaking eye. It looks awful.  
"Sev!"  
He puts the glasses back "Don't say anything, okay?"  
Severus' father is a monster. Is not the first time that he hits him. He usually hits his mother as well. I feel so bad for him. I want him to do something. To go to the police, stop him. But he doesn't want to. He doesn't listen to me.   
"Sev! Tell me what happened" I have tears in my eyes now.   
Sev shakes his head. I take his hand. Reassuring him.   
"He was yelling at her. My mom. And I couldn't stand it anymore Lils. I couldn't"   
I hug him tightly. He shakes a bit. I can tell he is crying. It brakes my heart.   
"You need to do something Sev"  
"Lily don't"  
"But..."   
"What do you think I should do? Mmm?" Severus yells "I bloody tried and look what he has done to me" he says pointing to himself. And I start crying.  
"But maybe the police..."  
"No! They wouldn't believe me"  
"But Sev..."   
"LILY STOP!" I jump "You don't know what is like. Your parents are..."  
Dead. That's what he wanted to say. Sometimes Sev can be mean. I stand up willing to leave with Dudley.   
"Lily! I'm sorry!" Severus cries behind me. And I stop with tears on my eyes "Please I'm really pissed. Lily, you're the only thing I have"  
I turn and sit back. "I'm just trying to help you"   
Sev wipes the tears on my cheeks. "Thank you Lils" he smiles slightly.   
"Oi! Snape!" a tall lad with a hoodie was calling Sev behind the grid.  
"Who is that?" I ask  
"I'll be right back" he says as he goes towards him.   
Dudley come to me with some random flowers.  
"Fo' Leeely" he says. I smile. I extend my hand.  
"No!" he wants to put them on my hair. While he does that I get a glimpse of Sev and the bloke. They don't seem friendly but they chat and carefully exchange something. Shut! Severus is selling drugs.  
"Mor' Flowes'" Dudley says going to catch more.   
Sev sits next to me again.  
"You're selling drugs" I just simply say like is just a fact. Without feelings.  
"Yeah"   
"Sev..."  
"I don't have any money Lily. I got kicked out of every single job I've been to. I don't do good at school. So this is the only thing I can do. Okay? There's no future for me" it hurts hearing him speak like that.   
"I mean you have your school for rich people"  
"With a scholarship"   
He ignores me "And I simply got this".  
"I can help"  
"I would never ask you that"   
I sight.  
"I don't judge you, Sev" and I don't. Because not everyone is as rich as bloody James Potter or the other kids at Hogwarts. Life is so unfair.   
"I just wish I could help you" I start crying again. I really love Sev. I would do anything for him.  
He hugs me. He pulls me closer and I put my head on his chest.   
"Lily you are the best thing I have"   
Dudley comes towards us and I wipe my tears.   
"Leely has a boyfriend! Leely has a boyfriend!" Dudley starts chanting and he giggles. I laugh and I can see Severus smiling and slightly blushing.

It's very late but my the exams before winter brake start tomorrow. And I'm really behind, between taking care of Dudley, study, and hanging out with Sev, I haven't got time. I'm currently with Rem at the library. He is wearing a funny Christmas Sweater. He doesn't care what the rich kids say. I love him.   
Suddenly we hear tipping on the window. We can see Sirius and Peter on the other side. They say hi and start gesturing something to Remus. They have been getting along pretty well now. I don't know how Remus can stand them.   
Sirius and Peter put their faces against the glass. They're are telling something to Remus but I can't tell what it is. But apparently he does, because he laughs.   
"What a pair of idiots they are" he says  
"You like them, don't you?"  
"No!" but he smiles.  
They gesture Remus to go with them. He raises his shoulders and they put a very large bar of chocolate on the window. Remus' favorite.  
"Are they bribing you?" I ask.  
"Sorry Lily" he says picking his things "I have to see what they want"   
I put out my tongue and he smiles kissing my cheek.  
I can see the lads sending me kisses before leaving as well. I sight. I have a lot to study.   
"Lily?" I see Alice standing beside me with a bunch of books on her hand.  
"Hi Alice!" I say smiling.  
"Could you turn this back please?" she begs putting the books on the table "I'm actually quite late for my date"  
"Sure!" I say "Date? Ha? With who?" Alice is that kind of girl that everyone fancies. She is so beautiful. Not like me.   
She giggles "Remember the lad from the Coffee Shop?"  
I remember. Remus told me his name is Frank and that he was really into Alice. And they look really good together.  
"Yeaah" I say smiling "He really fancies you!"  
"Really?"  
"Remus is friends with him and he told me everything"  
Alice blushes "Oh Lily! I really like him. He makes me laugh a lot. He is so understanding and romantic. The 'opens the door for you' kind of lad"  
"That's great Alice!" I say "There are few blokes like that"  
"The only problem is that I don't think my parents would approve" she says looking down "They want me to marry a rich man"  
"Alice, let your heart guide you sometimes. Not your mind or your parents. Just enjoy it while you can and I'm pretty sure you will solve things later"  
She smiles "You're an angel Lily" I smile back "Thank you so much. I have to go. Do I look okay?"  
"You look beautiful Alice!" like always  
"You should go too. Is getting late" I nod and she leaves. God! I have a lot to study.

I fell asleep again. I wake up only by Miss. Pince's 'We are closing the library'. Shit! Is too late! Luckily Dudley is staying at his father's. But Petunia must be worried about me.  
I pick up my things and run to the entrance. Is freezing and it's cloudy. I have my bike but it might be dangerous and cold to ride it all alone.   
"Evans?" I see James by his car. Of course! Why didn't I see the red Ford Mustang?  
"Potter?" I ask "Why are you still here?"   
"Football practice. You?" he rubs his hair.  
"Library. Why aren't you with your friends?"   
"They were going to get wasted (well Sirius is) and do crazy things. But I'm a good and responsable lad"  
I raise my eyebrows.   
"Okay! Sirius ditched practice. That asshole! And I wanted to practice alone so I stayed. I'm gonna meet them now. Want a lift?"  
I want a lift but not with him. He is going to take advantage of the situation. Probably tell his friends, tell Remus that we were on a date or we snogged or something worse.  
"No, thank you I'm fine" I hug myself more. I'm very cold.  
"Okay" he gets into his car. Wait, what? He is going to leave me here?  
He drives the car until he can face me again. He smiles rolling down the window.  
"You know, violence is really tough these days. Women rapists and killers are on the loose. I don't want anything to happen to your beautiful face"  
"I think I can take care of myself. Don't worry"   
I take my bike walking a few meters away. James follows me with his car.  
"So you rather die than go in a car with me?"   
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not gonna die"  
"I'm not gonna touch you Evans, you're perfectly save with me"  
"I think I'll be safer with the killers"   
"Seriously, I'm not letting go all by yourself"  
"FINE!" I yell. I leave my bike there. Hogwarts has the best security, they're not gonna steal it. And I get furious to James' car.   
"Seatbelt" he says. I roll my eyes and put on the seatbelt really pissed at him. He laughs. I refuse to look at him only to the window. And he starts driving.

We drive in silence. Potter is a good driver. He doesn't speed or anything. His car smells like him. Men lotion. It smells actually good. And 'Dear Prudence' is jamming on the radio. I can feel James' gaze on me. I just look through the window. He starts humming the song and actually singing it. I know Potter's favorite band are The Beatles. He freaking loves them.   
So I turn off the radio, just to piss him off.   
He laughes instead. He rubs his hair again.  
"What?"  
"I really love to have you in my car" I blush and look to the other side.   
After a while he asks: "So are you gonna tell me where you live?" Is true, he doesn't know my house. Which is not as big as his. And I don't want him to see my house.  
Instead I instruct him to go to the swings park. That's very close from home and I can walk there. But before we arrive:  
"Can I ask you something?" I don't answer "Why do you hate me so much?"   
"I don't hate you" which makes his eyes light up.  
"But you don't like me"  
"No"  
"Why not?"  
"Because, arrrg you are a presumptuous, manipulative rich boy who thinks he knows best and flirts with girls just because he pleases. And your hair, your ridiculous hair. I mean what is that?"  
He stays quiet for a while. "Well you don't know anything about me"   
"Oh, but I do. You're everyone's favorite. Your life is so easy and you don't have to move a finger to get what you want" I sight and we get to the park "Here please"   
"You live on a park?" he asks "Let me drive you home"   
"Not is okay. I'm near" I take off the seatbelt and open the door.   
"Hey Lily?" he says "I really fancy you" I go red but I don't answer "But if you want, I'm not gonna bother you anymore" I don't respond and get out of the car closing the door.  
"Thank you for the ride" I say  
And Potter leaves. He leaves. My heart is beating fast. And I can still smell him all over me. I really like that smell. I sight and start walking home.


	8. Emmeline

"That would be all for this class" says Professor McGonagall at the end of Math "Any questions?"   
For the surprise of everyone Sirius raises his hand.   
"Yes, Mr. Black?"   
"Minnie, would you be my date for The Yule Ball?"   
Everyone laughs and McGonagall goes slithly red.  
"I would, if you would have completed your tasks"  
"Uuuuh" a bunch of students say and there is more laughing. I smile to myself. Sirius is an idiot. I know that my friends would love to get a chance with Sirius, not me. He is not my type. 

The Yule Ball is the most amazing event of the year. We don't have Prom, or anything like that, like in America, we just have the Yule Ball, the Christmas party before winter break. And for the last two weeks everyone has gone crazy with dresses, suits, rides and dates. Last year I had a good time with James. There, we had our first kiss. This year I'm spending it with Nicky, my Nicky.  
Everyone hates Nick. My friends say he is too agressive, James hates him. They used to be friends growing up, but something happened with their families. I don't know. But he is so nice with me. He says so many pretty things to me. He makes me feel dangerous. On top of the world, a rebel girl. And partially he is the reason I broke up with James. 

McGonagall dismisses the class and I go with my friends through the corridor.  
"I can tell you, I wish I were McGonagall now. I would've say yes, yes, yes, I do Sirius. Let's get married" Amycus was saying.  
"Oh God Am, he is not for you. He is something they call straight" add his sister. We all laugh.  
"James Potter asked me yesterday. To the Yule Ball" Cora says.  
"What??" asks Amycus "And you said yes?"  
"You don't mess up with your best friend's exes. That's a rule Cora" says Alecto.  
"Oh! Em doesn't mind, don't you babe?"   
"Of course not" I say smiling. I don't care about James. I mean I like him, but I'm in love with Nick.   
"I thought Potter was infatuated with Evans" says Alec.   
"Aaargg I'm glad he is over that poor girl. She is so plain" Cora says "Besides James is getting hotter"  
"Lily is nice" I say. I quite like her. But my three friends laugh.

"Bunny boo!" That's what Nicky calls me. I turn around to see him.  
"Nick!" I run to kiss him. We kiss for a while.   
"So..." Nick says "I was thinking that we could go to my family's shack this weekend. You know? Just you and me" he grabs my waist "A romantic date" he starts kissing my neck. I know what he means, sex.  
"Nicky" I say pushing him away "This weekend is the Yule Ball"  
"So?"   
"Is the Yule Ball! It is important to me" I say. It is important.  
"Is a stupid cheesy ball for God's Sake" he says "Do you really want to go to that stupid thing?"  
"Is not stupid Nick!" I say "And I do"  
"Babe! Fuck. You never want to do what I want" my blood boils.  
"That is not true! Mulciber" I'm pissed off "We always do what you bloody want! And if I want to do something, you ditch me to go with your friends"  
"Ha!"  
"You left me alone at Sirius' party!"   
"You know what? I don't need you. I'm going with my friends to the shack" he says, which brakes my heart "At least I have fun with them. You're so bloody boring!" That's it. I start crying.   
"Fine! I'll go with someone else"  
"Whatever!" and he leaves. And I brust into tears.

After crying a lot on the bathroom, I get an idea. Sirius. I'm gonna drag Sirius with me to the ball. That would piss Nicky off. He hates him and Potter.  
I go to find them and I see them by the fountain with the new kid laughing at something. I approach them.   
"Sirius I need you to go to the Yule Ball with me" I say   
"Wow Vance, that's a weird way to ask someone to the Yule Ball" he says smirking.   
"And in front of me!" says James grabbing his chest.  
"So? Sirius?" I say "I had I fight with Nick and I need to make him jelaous"  
"Sorry babe, I'm going with these assholes" he says putting an arm around the new guy.   
"I can't, I invited Cora" says James  
"You invited Cora?" asks Sirius in disbelief "We were supposed to go the four of us together. No girls! Like a foursome"   
"That's sounds sexual Sirius" says the new kid  
"Only your dirty mind would think that Rem" Sirius rubs his hair.   
"Besides, I'm not going to the ball" Remus says  
"What? Why?" asks James  
"Because is bloody ridiculous"  
"It is not ridiculous!" I protest. God! What is wrong with men? Why wouldn't they enjoy a good party with dresses and suits? Where you can dance romantically with your boyfriend/girlfriend? It's all I want.  
"Em is right" says Peter "It's a Hogwarts tradition" he smiles at me. And I smile back.  
"Besides is your first time Rem" Sirius continues "You're a Yule Ball virgin"   
Remus laughs  
"We have to deflower you!"   
"Yes Remus!" James says "You have to bloody go"  
I don't know why these boys are obsessed with Remus. I mean he is weird. And mysterious. And he has those scars...  
"So?" I say "Who is coming with me?"  
"I'll go with you" says Peter. I look at him and he blushes. "I mean if you want... I mean if it is okay. Just if you want"  
I can see the boys exchanging glares. I like Peter. He is nice, very nice. He is not James or Sirius but he is part of their group. I think it is enough to piss Nick off.  
"Yeah alright" I say "That would be nice. Thanks Peter" I kiss his cheek and get away, ignoring how Peter blushes and how his friends are bothering him.  
I just hope Nick changes his mind before the ball.

The next day I wait for Nick to find me. I wait for him to send me a love letter or apologize but he doesn't. I see his friends this morning Avery and Goyle, but he is nowhere to be seen.   
My first class is art. My favorite one. I love to paint. It relaxes me. Everyone says I'm good. That I should do a career of it, but I don't know. I'm not good enough. Peter is good enough. His drawings are amazing. Ever since we were little. I've seen him sketch in class and he has talent.   
Speaking of the devil, I can see him sleeping on top of his easel. Honestly, this lad sleeps everywhere. He has blue painting on his cheek. He looks sweet and I smile. When the class is over I wake him up.  
"Oi! Peter!" I touch his shoulder carefully "Pete"   
He wakes up and smiles yawning.   
"What time is it?" he says  
"Like 10:30" I say looking at my watch. "And I'm starving. C'mon Pete, let's get some coffee"

The Great Hall is full of great food and exquisite pastries. I've never tried pastries as amazing as in Hogwarts. I grab a strawberry pastry. My favorite. And I cup of tea and milk. And I sit down. Peter sits in front of me with a cup of black coffee. And he doesn't even add sugar to it.  
"You're not eating anything?" I ask  
"Nop. Not hungry"  
"You don't have to be hungry to eat this delicious pastry"   
He smiles "I just had a big breakfast. I'm full"   
I take a big bite of my pastry "Mmm too bad" I say with my mouth full. "Of what you're missing"  
Peter laughs.   
"Thank you for going to the Yule Ball with me" I say  
"It's alright"  
"We will have fun, right?" I ask "The Yule Ball is fun!" I'm actually trying to convince myself.  
"Yeah!" Peter agrees.  
"Nick is a wanker" I continue "Eventually he will realize what he is missing" I take another bite of my pastry rather angry.  
"Em?" Peter says "Can I tell you something?"   
"Mmm?"  
"Mulciber is an idiot. Why are you dating him?"   
"I mean he is not an idiot for not wanting to go to the Yule Ball..."  
"I didn't mean because of that" Peter says "Just in general"  
"You don't know him at all" I'm used to defend Nicky from my parents, from my friends...  
"Maybe I don't, but I've seen the way he treats you. You don't deserve him"   
"You don't know..." I don't know what to say. Perhaps Nick is not the best boyfriend but he loves me. And I love him, right?  
"He treats you badly" Peter continues "He yells at you, he makes you do what he wants, he treats you like a bloody object sometimes"  
But that's love, right? Nicky loves me.  
"Em, you're freaking amazing" Peter grabs my hand "You are beautiful, you are smart, you have really good comments on things, and politics, you tell funny jokes. You get lost when you paint. Your smile is so beautiful. The way your grab your hair when you're stressed, the way you sing ABBA without caring what everyone would think... And you're stronger then you believe..."  
Oh shit! Peter loves me. I kind of knew he fancied me for the way he looked at me and blushed whenever I was around. But he knows all this things about me. Until now I never knew how profound his crush was.  
I take my hand off his.  
"Peter..." I try to be careful with him "I don't think anything is going to happen between us"  
"Oh!" he looks sad and confused "That was straight forward, wasn't it?"  
"I'm sorry. But I think I love Nick" I say "And our relationship might not be perfect but we will solve it"  
"Okay" he says  
Silence. He sips his coffee and I'm no longer hungry.  
"Are you angry with me?" I ask  
He smiles "Of course not"  
"Will you still go to the ball with me?" I say "We can have fun, as friends"  
"Sure" he says "I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world" I smile and learn forward to kiss his cheek. Seriously Peter is the sweetest. I hope he will get over me and find a nice bird.


	9. Regulus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Homophobia and Violence

I'm currently in a gas station or something. I'm wearing my Yule Ball suit and I feel ridiculous. I buy  
some gum while the cashier looks at me like I'm crazy.

I go to the loo to check on Sirius. He is wearing the most ridiculous zebra themed suit. Eyeliner and  
a piercing. That's what caused father to be angry. He said Sirius looked like a fag. Sirius always  
provokes him. He does stupid things and father hits him. He hit him tonight. Before going to the  
Yule Ball. Sirius didn't want to get to Hogwarts with blood on his chin so we stopped here so he  
can fix his wound.

I enter the loo and see him looking himself in the mirror. The wound looks better. But is still  
noticeable.  
"Gum?" I hand my brother some. He smiles and grabs it.  
"How do I look?" he says turning around.  
"Like a Diva" I answer and he rolls his eyes.  
"You know the story right?" he asks  
"Some lad tried to steal your motorbike and you end up having a really cool badass fight with him"  
I recite what my brother said. Nobody should know the real cause of the bruise.  
Sirius smiles. "Let's go to the Yule Ball baby!"

We get to Sirius motorbike outside. He hands me the helmet. I hate the helmet. But Sirius says I  
need to be safe.  
"So who is your hot date tonight Reggie?" he asks me  
"Bertha Jorkins" I say disgusted.  
"The 'I love Jesus' bird?" he asks smirking.  
"She is quite religious yes. It was Barty's idea. You?" Sirius gets on the moto.  
"Remus"  
"The new lad? You're going to the Yule Ball with a bloke?"  
Sirius laughs "Is not as gay as it sounds. We were supposed to go us four and then James and Peter  
diched as for some girls"  
"Well sounds wicked!" I say as I get on the moto behind Sirius.  
"Who is James going with?" I try to sound casual  
"Coraline. The sluty bird with big tits?" My bother was really specific sometimes. I felt a knot on  
my throat.  
Sirius turns on the motorbike and we leave.

I tried to hide away my crush on James. I don't want to be gay. It is supposed to be wrong. My  
parents would never approve. But I can't stop thinking about him. We practically grew up  
together. He was protective as my older brother. I remember when I was twelve and fell off the  
skater. James cured my knee and kiss it like a bloody parent. That made me blush a lot. And since  
then I've fancied him. Is him who I wanted to go to the Yule Ball, not bloody Bertha.

We arrive to Hogwarts and I see lots of couples wearing gala. They always wear the best clothes  
they have. Who bloody cares? I think I'm wearing the same suit as last year. We see James' car  
arrive. I would recognized it immediately. I instantly comb my hair.  
James gets out and the girl Coraline as well. She is wearing a red sluty dress. She takes James arm.  
I think I'm gonna vomit.  
"Heeeyaa!" Sirius says.  
"What the bloody hell is that suit mate?" James is grinning and they hit palms.  
"Hi Reggie!"  
"Hi!" My voice sounds high pitched.  
"I look really good, don't I?" Sirius says. James rolls his eyes and then notices Sirius face.  
"What happened to your face?" he asks.  
"Oh! That's a story little Reggie would be thrilled to tell you" Sirius puts his arm around me.  
James looks at me puzzled and I blush "Basically he is an idiot" I say. And James laughs. "He always  
is"  
We look into each other's eyes for a bit.  
"Can we go inside?" Coraline interrupts "I'm bloody freezing and I want to take the best pictures"  
"Okay" James says "Coming?" he asks us.  
"I had to wait for my sweet hot date" Sirius says. James and Coraline go inside. Her rolling her  
eyes.

"There he is!" Sirius points to a bloke arriving with Lily Evans, Peter and Emmeline. Lily is wearing a  
yellow dress. Emmeline is wearing a purple one. The two boys are wearing simple suits. Peter a  
black one and the other guy a brown one.  
Emmeline drags Peter inside. I wave at him. He does it as well but he looks rather sad.  
"You two look good together!!" Sirius yells at them and Peter blushes.  
"There you are hot date" my bother says when the other two arrive in front of us.  
"What happened to your face?" Lily asks  
"Wait. Evans that's not a thing to ask someone!" Sirius winks at the bloke and I guess is because of  
the scars on his face. I wonder what happened to him. The guy smiles at Sirius. I didn't know they  
were that close.  
"So very hot date" my bother continues "This is my brother Regulus, Reggie this is my very hot  
date, Remus" we both blush.  
"Hi Remus"  
"Hi Regulus" we stretch hands.  
"And you know Lily" Sirius says pointing at her. I nod. I know James flirts with her now and then.  
"Hi Regulus" Lily says smiling "Sirius, thank you for stealing my date" she says as she grabs Remus'  
arm.  
"Well sorry sweetheart , he is my bloody date"  
"I'm gonna regret this, aren't I?" Remus asks me smiling.  
"I bet you will" I say smiling back.

We get in and I see Barty with his date Jessica, Outside the Great Hall. Bertha is besides them  
looking really annoyed.  
"Hey! mate!" Barty greets me.  
"Hey everyone" I say. I look at Bertha awkwardly. "You...look... really...nice" that's what people are  
supposed to say in dates.  
But she is looking at my brother and his companion.  
"Who is your brother with?"  
"Amm...Remus?" I answer  
She shakes her head "Homosexuality is a sin"  
And she strokes inside. I just stay static. Shit.  
"Oi! Reg!" Barty grabs my arm and puts me aside "Do you think we can sell these here?" he takes a  
little bag of pills. I look around scared.  
"Barty this is Hogwarts" I whisper "There are teachers around! We can get caught"  
"If we're careful, we won't" he whispers as well.  
"Bartemius, No!" he hates his full name as much as he hates his father. Because his father has the  
same name.   
"Regulus" he says annoyed "Just put this little bag in your pocket" he says as he puts the bag on  
my pocket. "No, no, no, no" I say  
"C'mon just keep it there"  
"I told you I didn't want to be part of this shit"  
But he ignores me "just in case someone asks you, okay? Just in case"  
"Barty I can't"  
"Okay mate, good luck" and he goes inside.  
"Barty! Barty!" but he ignores me "Bloody asshole" Shit. I have drugs on my pocket.

The Ball is a fiasco. I'm sitting next to Bertha listening to her criticize mostly everything. Specially  
my brother. Sirius and Remus are sitting on a table chatting about something and laughing their  
butts out. It is weird. Sirius only do that with James. I glance at him dancing with Coraline looking  
rather bored. Maybe if I had the nerves I would dance with him. Maybe be his date and laugh with  
him like my brother is doing with Remus, despite the hateful glances they get.  
"I'm gonna get some punch, you want some?" I ask Bertha.  
"Alcohol is bad. You shouldn't drink"  
"It is alcohol free, as always"  
"I bet the stupid of your brother or Potter spiced it up" she answered upset.

I go anyway. I can't stand any minute more with her. As I walk I can see Professor Dumbledore  
wearing a bright red suit with a fur shawl. And I smile, he and Sirius are a lot alike. I also see Peter  
and Emmeline dancing rather friendly.  
I get to the table and I serve myself a glass.  
"Having fun?" Lily is next to me.  
"Not much" I say  
"Me neither" she says "I don't care what people say, this is a stupid dance"  
"I agree"  
Lily smiles. And I can see James approaching us. Shit.  
"Hello Evans" she says smirking "Not hot date tonight?"  
"Nope"  
As they talk I make myself busy smelling the snacks and stuff.  
"Why not?"  
"Because I just wanted to be by myself, is there's something wrong with that?" she asks  
"Not at all" James smiles to her "You look beautiful, tonight"  
Lily sights "James..."  
"Oh sorry I know. I promised not to bother you anymore" he looks quite sad.  
Lily opens her mouth but she doesn't say anything. Instead she goes to join Sirius and Remus.  
"Birds, am I right?" he asks smiling.  
"Oh, yeah. Tell me about it" I say looking at Bertha. He smiles. I want to say something but I don't  
know what. James serves himself some punch.  
"Have a good night Reggie" he says and he goes to dance with Coraline again. Fuck! Why you have  
to be so awkward Regulus?

Suddenly a couple comes in and everyone stares at them. I recognize the girl. Alice something. All  
my friends fancy her. She looks stunning with a white dress. And beside her is a bloke I've never  
seen before. I go next to my brother.  
"What is going on?" I ask  
"You know, the gossipers, gossiping" Sirius says.  
"I knew they were a cute couple" says Lily smiling  
"Who is he?" Sirius asks  
"That's my friend Frank. A lad who works on the coffee shop" Remus answers  
"I don't see the problem" I say  
"You know these presumptuous assholes" says Sirius "She is a rich bird, he doesn't have money,  
they are not meant to be together..."  
I look at them and they look so happy, eventhough everyone disapproves. I wish I could do that  
with James, with someone.  
"I'm going to the loo" I say

As I go to the bathroom I can see a lot of couples snogging. Including Barty and Jessica. What an  
idiot. I'm gonna bother him later.  
Wandering through the corridors is great. I bloody hate parties and crowded places. I rather be by  
myself sometimes. I get near the fountain and I smell smoke. I see James smoking by himself. Oh  
bloody hell. What do I do?  
I approach him: "Mr. Potter you can smoke here" I say in the most Filch way possible. And it works  
James jumps.  
"Shit! Regulus, you scared me!"  
I laugh and sit next to him.  
"You want a cig?"  
"Sure!" Sirius would kill me but fuck it.  
I take a drag and I cough again. Shit.  
"Not used to it, ha?" James asks smiling.  
"Shut up" I say between coughs and James laughs.  
"What are you doing here by yourself?" I ask  
"I got bored of Coraline's talking and criticizing"  
"Same with my date"  
"Really?"  
"Yeah" I smile. Don't freak out Regulus.  
James sighs "The girl that I wanted to come with kind of hates me"  
I don't answer. Who would hate him? Lily is really stupid.  
"I think I'm gonna forget about her, you know?" James says inhaling his cig "This time forever" he  
looks very sad.  
"You deserve someone better James" I don't know what I say that.  
"Really?" James asks  
"Yeah someone that really loves you. That accepts you for who you are" James smiles at me.  
"Thanks Reggie"  
We look at each other. I can't take it anymore and I kiss him. But I pull away quickly.  
"Shit!" I say "I'm so sorry"  
James looks very shocked. He doesn't answer.  
"God. I'm and idiot" and before I embarrass myself even more I run inside.


	10. Sirius

I'm invited to the Potter's for Christmas. Thank God! I don't think I would resist dinner with my parents. They are going to France this year. And I hope they never return. Kidding...  
So I take Reggie with me. He insisted not to come. He wanted to stay home alone. And sure, the servants can cook him something. But there's no way in hell, I'm going to let my brother spend Christmas alone. So I dragged him over. 

As we get there to The Potter's entrance, Reggie takes the helmet off with a really bad face.  
"Honestly Reg, what is wrong with you? You love the Potter's" I say  
"Shut up!" he says quickly "I don't"  
I don't know what is wrong with him. I knock the door while Reg stays behind. I push him forward.  
"Arrrggg bloody hell Sirius!" he protests.  
Mrs. Potter opens the door. She is looking stunning in a white dress.  
"Sirius, honey!" she hugs me tight. Euphemia Potter has always treated me like a son. She's like a mother to me.  
"Mrs. P. Merry Christmas" I say smiling "You look stunning!"   
"Oh please!" but she blushes. "Merry Christmas to you too"  
"You remember my brother Regulus?" I point at him  
"Oh, yes! How could I forget?" Mrs. Potter answers "Regulus you are so big and quite handsome" she hugs him and Reggie blushes. "Thank you"  
"Where is James?" I ask   
"Oh! He is at the back with Peter" she says smiling  
"Thanks" and I start walking but my brother doesn't. I push him again. "Honestly what's wrong with you?" I whisper to him.

We get to the social room. There's a table full of delicious food. James and Peter are seating at the pool. And guess what are they listening to? Yeah you guessed right. The Beatles. Honestly James doesn't listen to something else.   
"Hello ladies!" I say. Both of them look at me and smile. James comes and greets me with a hug so as Peter. But he stops with Reggie. He was going to hug him but he stops himself. Then he gives him his hand.   
"Hi Regg... Regulus"   
"Hi James" they shake hands awkwardly.  
I look at Peter who also looks puzzled.  
I start laughing "What the fuck was that?"   
"Just a hello" James says  
We stay in silence and I can feel tension between my brother and my best friend. Weird.  
"Who wants punch?" Peter asks breaking the ice "I made some" he says  
"You made punch?" I ask surprised.  
"Yeaah!" Peter answers. He starts serving a few glasses. "Wait until you taste it"  
"Mmm..." I joke raising my eyebrows.  
"Aaargg Sirius!" Peter protests. I love bothering my friends.  
While Peter serves Regulus and they chat, I pull James aside.   
"Sooo... Did you invite him?" I ask   
"Mmm?" James is still looking at my brother. Seriously what is with them.  
"Rem? Remmy?" I ask  
"Yees. I invited your boyfriend"   
"He is not my boyfriend..."  
"Then why did you ask me to invite him?" James asks smirking  
"Because he is cool. Not boring like you!"  
"Oi!" he hits my arm "I'm still your best friend, right?"   
"Somebody is jelaous"  
"Sirius!"  
"Of course you are my best friend ever!" I kiss his cheek.

I don't know why but Remus and I got along pretty well. He is funny, sarcastic and really sweet and responsable at the same time. I just like spending time with him. Ever since the Yule Ball, there have been rumors of us being a gay couple or something. Who bloody cares? I'm not gay. I just like spending time with a bloke. What is wrong with that?  
Remus enters the room and he is wearing a very large 'Santa Baby' sweater. He always wears ridiculous sweaters. As soon as he arrives I go and hug him. He smells like chocolate and tea.  
"My sweet Remmy" I kiss his head.   
"Hi Siri" he says smiling and blushing. I look around to see everyone looking at me suspicious. Even Mr. and Mrs. Potter.   
"My sweet Pete" I go and kiss him too so is not so awkward and gay.   
"So you are the famous Remus, James talks about" says Euphemia.   
"Yes" answers Remus "Nice to meet you"  
"He eather talks about you or that Evans girl" Fleamont adds. We all laugh. Except for Regulus who doesn't look good.  
"Oh dad, please" James says blushing.  
"Well, is true!"  
"Is actually Sirius who talks about Remus" James says.  
"Oh shut up" I blush as well.

Dinner is quite nice. But I still feel the tension between James and Regulus.   
"Sirius pass me the beans" Regulus asks  
"They are next to James, why don't you ask him?"  
He doesn't. Finally Peter passes them.  
"Operation Jegulus" I whisper into Remus' ear.  
"What?"   
"To figure out what these two are up to" I say "You're in?"   
Remus smiles. "Sure"  
We look at each other. But we are interrupted by Fleamont.  
"So Remus, what do your parents do?"   
"Amm..." Remus moves on his seat. "Mom's a nurse and my dad sells insurances"   
"Oh! That's good"   
"Do your parents get along Remus?" Euphemia asks   
"They are actually divorced" he says. I didn't know that. Actually there are a lot of things I don't know about Remus.  
"Oh, sweetheart sorry to hear that"   
"It's fine" he answers. "Is better now than it was when they were together, actually"   
Fleamont and Euphemia smile at him.  
"So who do leave with?" Fleamont asks  
"I kind of alternate between the two"   
"Sounds pretty cool" I say looking at him. He smiles.  
"Yeah I guess"  
"Peter sweetheart" Euphemia says "You haven't touched your food. Are you alright?"  
Peter blushes for being mention in the conversation.  
"Yes, Mrs. Potter" he answers. "Sorry. Dinner is delicious. Is just that I ate a lot at my mom's. So I'm full"  
"Oh. Is fine sweetie" she says "Perhaps I can save you that for later?"  
"That would be awesome, thanks"  
"No mom. Don't do that. He needs to eat" James says. "You look very thin Pete" Peter looks down very pale.   
"James you can't force someone to eat" his mom protests   
"But is Christmas" James says "You're supposed to eat a lot more at Christmas"   
"Okay, fine James" says Peter he sticks food on his mouth "See?" he starts chewing. James smiles.  
"We are going to get you chubby and love you forever" I say. And everyone laughs.

"So Padfoot" says Remus pointing at me "Prongs" he points at James and "Wormtail" he points back since Peter is in the bathroom.   
"Yeah basically" I say smiling. We are all sitting in a couch by the pool. I'm on Remus shoulder.   
Rem laughs "Why?"  
"In our defense" James says " We were 13 and we thought nicknames were cool"  
"We made a magazine test about our spiritual animal or some shit and we picked names according to that" I finish  
"Bloody idiots" Reggie mutters.  
"We need to find nicknames for you and Rem as well" I say  
"Yeah right" Regulus says  
"No way" Remus adds "I had enough with No Uniform"   
James and me laugh.  
"What did I miss lads?" Peter comes and sits next to Reg.  
"Oh, Wormtail why did you took so long in the loo?" I ask him.  
"You want me to tell you Padfoot?" answers Peter and I laugh.   
"Well. I'm gonna smoke a cigarette" says Reggie getting up. Wait what?  
"Oi! Since when do you smoke?" I ask him  
"Shut up Sirius you don't control me" he answers leaving to smoke.  
"Did you know about this James?"   
He blushes "Of course not!"  
"What a bloody brat!" I protest.  
"Okay Peter" says James getting up "Help me out to serve dessert"  
"Dessert? We ate so much" Peter answers.  
"There's always space for dessert" Remus answers and I hit his palm. I bloody like this guy.  
"C'mon Pettigrew"   
"Arrrggg why me?" But James drags him inside. 

Which leaves Remus and I alone. For some reason I like it.  
"So" Remus says "What do you want to do?"  
"What?"  
"With operation Jegulus?" he asks  
"Oh" I laugh. I totally forgot about that.  
"I don't bloody know" I say "Maybe I'll corner Reg and you'll corner James and force them to talk"  
Remus laughs "Great plan" I smile.  
"I like spending time with you Remus" I say looking at him.  
"And I like spending time with you" he says  
"Like I really like spending time with you, more than with others" my heart starts beating fast for some reason.  
"Why? I'm bloody boring" he says. I raise my eyebrows  
"Hell no!" I say "You're amazing okay? Really I don't befriend anyone"  
"Well thanks" Remus says blushing. He looks cute when he blushes.   
"Rem" I continue "You can tell me anything. I just want to know everything about you" I don't know what is wrong with me but I can't stop.  
"Like what?"  
"Okay first question" I say "Are you a virgin?"   
Remus brusts into laughter. I smile "From all the questions you could choose, you go with that one?"  
"It is something important I need to know" he laughs "So?"   
"No" he answers and now I blush.  
"Oh, interesting" I say "Okay, second question" I say and I get a little nervous but when I do something I just do it, you know? "Have you..." I say "Ever considered" I pull myself closer to him "to kiss a bloke?"  
"I..." He doesn't answer. He just leans closer. I do too. I can't feel his breath on me. I just want to kiss him but...  
"Lads!" James screams and we brake apart. "Dessert" Shit! James. This is not a good moment for dessert.  
I look at Remus "Dessert?"   
"Yes please" he says.  
And we go inside both of us rather blushed.


	11. Dorcas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily's Birthday Party Part 1

Kissing Marly is like kissing two strawberry jellies melted by the sun. Her lips are warm and soft. I love them. We are in my bedroom and I'm on top of her. My parents are not home so we are free to do whatever we want. 

I'm the oldest of four little brothers and the only girl. So my mother expected of me to be girly and marry a bloke. But I turned out to be a big lesbian who loves volleyball more than anything. Dad is a shy man and he was okay with it when I came out. Mom yelled and wouldn't accept it until she didn't have the energy anymore. She still doesn't approve, but she doesn't say anything.

I start kissing my girlfriend's neck.   
"Mmm...Dorki..." I hear her say "We have to get ready"  
"Or we can not go"  
We were invited to Lily's birthday party. Remus being a good friend, decided to organized her a surprise party since she didn't want to do anything.   
I kiss Marly's neck going down.  
"Dorki" she pushes me away. "We promised Rem, remember?"   
I lay down next to her. "Since when you are thrilled to go to hang out with the rich kids?" I ask  
Marly laughs hugging me "Are you talking about Sirius? Are you jelaous baby?" she giggles.  
Marlene told me she is a bisexual, meaning she likes boys as well. So of course I'm jelaous of that stupid rich boy. I saw the way he looked at her. He can say he was drunk all he wants, but I don't buy it.   
"Noo" I lie trying to stay mad at her.  
"C'mon babe we can have fun" she gives me a quick kiss.  
"Rem will be there..." she gives another kiss  
"I like Rem..."  
"And Lily is nice" another kiss  
"Eeh.."  
"C'mon.. for me?" another long kiss  
"Arrrggg fine"   
Marly kisses all my face "Yees!!"   
Suddenly we hear a knock in the door and I freeze.   
"Can I come in?" Remus says "Are you naked?" he steps in covering his eyes his his hands. "Your door was opened Dorki" he enters  
"Please don't be shagging, please don't be shagging, please don't be shagging"  
He takes a peek and he sees us dressed "Oh, thank God"  
"You're an idiot Remus" I say and he smiles.  
"Are you ready? You have to help me decorate and stuff"   
"We need to put on some makeup first" Marly says  
"Already? That's gonna take ages"   
I throw a pillow at him.

Remus house is full of rich kids. Lily hasn't arrived yet. Remus told her to come to hang out at his house. But she doesn't know we are here. Honestly I just want to leave.  
I see Sirius and his stupid friends on the corner. Marlene takes my hand and we go towards them.   
"Remmy!" Sirius kisses Remus cheek and they both blush. "Your house is so pretty" he says looking around. "Thanks Siri"   
"Hello boys" my girlfriend says   
"Hey!" Peter says smiling.  
"Hi, girls" James says  
"My favourite girls!" Sirius comes and hug us.   
"Dorcas right?" he asks me.  
"Yeah..." I say pissed off. What is his problem?  
"I want to apologise properly for kissing your girlfriend" his friends start laughing.  
"I was drunk and I swear I don't remember half of that night" he continues "In my defense your girlfriend is very pretty"  
"I think you're ruining it Padfoot" James say  
"I know she is pretty" I say. Marly laughs.   
"So ... Can we be friends?" Sirius says "Rem is really important to me. And you are important to him. So.."  
That's actually cute. I didn't know Sirius fancied Remus and I don't know what is going on between them. Remus blushes. And his friends are laughing and whispering in the back.  
"We'd love to be your friends" Marlene says "You guys are super cool, right babe?"   
"On one condition" I say and Sirius nods "If you ever kiss my girlfriend again or I'm gonna kick your ass"  
They all laugh. "Okay, promise" says Sirius.  
"So where's Regulus?" Remus asks Sirius  
"He had plans with Barty" Sirius says rolling his eyes "But I think he is avoiding James" he looks at him "Perhaps James knows why?"   
"I told you I don't!" James says blushing.

Later on Frank arrives with his new girlfriend Alice. Honestly when we go to The Leaky Cauldron, she is all he talks about.   
"Hi everyone!" he says. Alice waves. She is really beautiful.  
"These are Dorcas and Marlene, my friends I talked you about" Frank says to his girlfriend.  
"Hi, I'm Alice. Frank talks about you all the time" she says smiling.  
"So you are Alice, nice. We need to catch you up with embarrassing stories about Frankie" Marly says   
"Don't you dare!" says Frank blushing  
"And you know Remus"  
"Yes of course"   
Remus smiles.  
Another bloke arrives. He is wearing all black. His hair is kind of greasy and he has a large nose.   
"Oh, hi" Remus says "I'm Remus. We spoke on the phone"  
"Hi, Severus" they shake hands.  
"Come in" Remus says "Lily would be here in a minute".  
The bloke comes in awkwardly.

Marly and I organize the table with drinks and food for everyone. We smile to each other and Marly sends me kisses. She is so adorable. I love her.   
Remus approaches sighting.  
"Thank you girls for helping" he says  
"Of course" I say  
"You never organize something like this for us..." Marlene sounds jelaous.  
Remus laughs "Don't get jelaous" he says "I'm gonna tell you a secret" he leans in "It was James idea"  
"What?" I ask  
"This whole thing. The party for Lily. He bought most of the food and drinks"  
"That's so cute!" Marly says "Why in your house?"  
"James doesn't want anyone to know. Make it appear like it was my idea" Remus smiles "He said Lily would never accept something that comes from him"  
"That is so romantic" I say  
"And he is a coward" Marly adds "He should tell her how he feels"  
"He has tried. Trust me" Remus says "I'll go outside to check out on Lily" and he leaves.

"So girls, can I ask you for advice?" James comes a little nervous.  
Me and Marly enchange glances smiling.  
"Yes, of course"   
He takes out a little box from his pocket "I bought this for Lily" I try not to smile. He is really cute. He opens the box. Inside there is a necklace, a beautiful necklace with a heart pendant. It looks bloody expensive as well. "Do you think she would like it?"  
Marlene laughs "Jesus Christ! How much did you expend on this?"   
"Marly!" I say "You're not supposed to ask that!"  
"Sorry" she says  
James laughs rubbing his hair "It's okay. So what do you think?"  
"Lily is a really lucky lady" Marly says   
"She will love it" I add smiling. And James rubs his hair again kind of blushing.

Lily arrives and we yell 'Surprise' she is really surprised. We all greet her and hug her. And James kind of blushes "Happy Birthday Lily" he says rubbing his hair again.  
"Thanks Potter" she answers smiling. "Remus you did all this for me?"   
"Amm... Yeah" he says "It was only me"   
Lily hugs him. I see Remus moving his lips whispering something like 'Tell her' to James and he shakes his head.   
James searches for the necklace "Lily, I.." but before he can say anything, the bloke named Severus speaks "Lily!" he says smiling.  
"Sev! You're here" they hug. "I brought you flowers, your favourites" he gives her a bouquet of lilies.  
"Oh! Sev, you're so sweet" she kisses his cheek. James looks sad and he doesn't say anything.

The party goes on well and mostly every one is drunk. Except for Remus of course, that Peter bloke and me. I have training tomorrow. Even Lily is kind of drunk dancing with Severus. James looks miserable in the background. I dance with my girlfriend. Although Severus look at us with disgust. Peter, Remus and Sirius dance together. Sirius and Remus are very flirty whispering stuff to each other. What is going on there?  
"I'm drunk!" Marly says to me   
"I bloody know!" I say smiling  
"You look beautiful" she says  
"Well thanks"  
"I want to kiss you" I raise my eyebrows. She looks so beautiful and sweaty it hurts.  
"Do you want to go somewhere private?"   
Marlene smiles at me "What are you thinking Meadowes?" 

I don't answer. I simply laugh and drag my girlfriend to an empty room. I think it is Remus' room but we don't care, we start kissing passionetly.   
When we hear someone forcing the door.   
"Oh shit" Marly says and we hide in the closet laughing like maniacs.  
"Shhhh" I say to my girlfriend.  
"So what do you want Potter?" It is Lily she sounds kind of drunk "Want to flirt with me again?"   
James laughs "No, although you look beautiful tonight" Lily laughs.   
"I want to give you this" James says.  
I look at Marly and she is making a heart shape with her hands.   
There's silence and then Lily gasps "Oh, James!" she says "It is beautiful! You shouldn't have. Wanker. How much did you spend?"   
"It was nothing" James says "Besides you are worth it"   
Marly tries to laugh but I stop her. I put my hand on her mouth "Shut up, babe"  
"You are not such a bad person Potter" Lily says   
"I.. I want to be friends with you Lily" James says "But I know you probably don't want to. I know you hate me"   
"I don't hate you" Lily says. "Of course I want to be your friend James" They stay in silence.   
"Are they snogging?" Marly whispers "Shut up" I say

Suddenly we hear the door opens.  
"There you are birthday girl" is Remus "Oh sorry, am I interrupting?"   
"No!" James and Lily say at the same time.  
"Oi! What's going on there Rem, are they shagging?" Sirius voice says from the hall.  
"Shut up Padfoot!" James says.  
"Let's go to the party" Lily says. And they leave.  
We brust out of the closet laughing really hard.  
"Oh God!" Marly says " Do you think they noticed we were there?"  
"No" I say "I don't think so"  
"Okay Meadowes" my girlfriend says laying in bed "Come here and kiss me"   
I smile and lock the door this time. I lay on top of her kissing her passionetly. I'm so in love with this girl. And I kiss her proving her how much I love her with every touch.


	12. James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily's Birthday Party Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Homophobia and Violence

I watch Lily dance with Remus and Sirius. We almost kiss back there on the room. She looked so beautiful, God. I'm a little drunk. But she was way drunker. She freaking leaned over first. I don't know if it was from the alcohol or because she wanted. I almost told her how I feel. How much I love her. But I couldn't. 

"Heeeyaa!" Sirius sits next to me  
"Hello Pads" I say smiling  
"So are you gonna tell me what did you do to Evans?"   
"Are you gonna tell me you're secretly gay and you fancy Remus?"  
We look at each other and laugh our butts out. We are drunk.   
"I love you mate" Sirius says hugging me "Okaaay" I say "You're my bes' frien' ever!"   
"Okay Pads" I say "I'm gonna have a cig"  
"Nooo!" he says "Please don't leave me!"  
"I'm just having a cig!" I say   
"Jamiee!"  
"I'll be right back" sometimes Pads acts like a freaking child. Perhaps is because he doesn't get the affection from his parents. They are the worst people I've ever met.

I go outside to get some air and have a cig. And I see Lily's friend, Severus, I think, talking with some lad. The lad gives him a package or something and he leaves. Severus turns to face me. It is awkward, I don't know what to say.  
"Hi"   
"Hi"   
He is selling, buying drugs. I don't know.   
"So how good is it?" I ask. I pretend to be costumer to trap this lad. And tell Lily later what he has been up to.  
"What?" he asks  
"The thing you are selling or something"  
"Oh!" he says "Are you interested?" he takes out a bag. "Is very good quality. The best, I may add"  
What an asshole.  
"Does Lily know you're into this?"   
"That's not of your business"  
"It is my business. Because is dangerous" I say "And you might put Lily in danger"  
He laughs "You don't know shit. You have your life easily served for you, rich boy. You don't know what is like to fucking starve. To have nothing."  
"Maybe I don't but there are other decent ways to get money"  
"Sounds pretty easy, doesn't it?" he sounds angry "Specially coming from a rich kid like you"  
"Don't get Lily into this" I say  
He smiles evily "You're that Potter kid, don't you? The one who is after her?"  
I don't answer  
"Lily doesn't like you. She hates you. She always talks shit about you. Potter is an asshole. Potter is a wanker. Potter this and Potter that. She doesn't stand you"  
"You're lying" I say as confident as I can but his words are really hurting me.  
"You better stay away from her Potter" he continues "She doesn't deserve a spolied rich brat like you"  
"And she doesn't deserve you!" I say  
"Just focus on taking care of your weird friends"  
I clinch my teeth and make a fist. Nobody talks badly about my friends.  
"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask  
"Your faggot friends. I saw the way they danced with each other. It is disgusting"

I grab him from his shirt. I'm pissed off. What an idiot. I don't mind about gay. I don't mind that Reggie kissed me. Although we haven't got the chance to talk about it. I don't mind if Sirius fancies Remus, which is clearly true. And I don't mind about Dorcas and Marlene. I just met them, but I really like them.  
"What did you just say?" I say "What did you call my friends?"  
He smiles evily "F A G G O T S"   
And that's it. I punch him in the face. Right through his nose. "DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT MY FRIENDS AGAIN" I yell and he punches me too. My nose hurts and I bleed. I push him to the floor and I start hitting him with all my strength.  
"OI! GUYS STOP!" I hear Peter yell but I don't stop. I'm furious and blood is running through my veins. I can't stop hitting him.  
Suddenly I feel arms grabbing me and I try to get off   
"Aaaarggg let me go!" Is Sirius.   
Severus stays in the floor, protesting in pain. Shit. He deserves it.  
Remus gets between us "What the Bloody hell happened here?" 

I look around trying to steady myself and I see everyone looking at us weirdly. Lily looks freaking scared.  
Severus raises up and Lily hurries to help him. Shit no, Lily. Not him.  
"What happened?" she asks him.  
"We were just chatting and he bloody starts hitting me. I think he is drunk. And very obsessed with you Lily. He got jealous"  
Fucking asshole...  
"THAT'S NOT TRUE SON OF A BICTH" I try to hurt him again but Sirius stops me "YOU INSULTED MY FRIENDS, FUCKING SNIVELLUS"  
"That's not true. Lily I would never do that"   
I want to hurt him, kill him. But Sirius is too strong.   
Dorcas and Marlene come laughing and they stop when they see the scene.   
"What the bloody hell happened?" Dorcas asks  
Nobody answers.  
"Peter" Remus speaks "You saw them first. What happened?"  
Peter please tell them what happened.  
"Ammm... I just came outside and..." he looks at me "I saw James grabbing the bloke's shirt and punching him"   
Shit this doesn't look good on me. I look at Lily but she just looks down, avoiding me.  
"Because he was speaking SHIT..." Sirius stops me.  
"Mate" Remus says to Severus "I think you should probably go"   
"Okay fine" he says with disgust "Lily come with me"  
What? No. No way. Lily don't go with him.  
Lily looks around. Everyone waits for her to respond. Lily looks at me. She has tears in her eyes. She looks very disappointed in me. And I have a knot in my throat.   
"Lily I need you" Severus insists.  
"Lily..." I plead. My voice sounds broken. Please stay. Stay with me.  
Lily sights. And goes towards Remus. She hugs him. "Thanks for the party Rem" she kisses his cheek. Shit. The party was my idea I did all this for her. But I don't say anything.   
And Lily leaves with Severus. Leaving me with my heart broken. Sirius finally lets me go. And I kick the floor on frustration. "Aaaaaarggg!"

Lily ignored me for days. And nobody believes me. Everyone thinks that I went agressive because of the alcohol. Sirius, Remus and Peter said they believe me but I know they don't.  
"I get it mate" Sirius told me "I was drunk as well, you know? I don't remember much. And I get it, you were jelaous of him and Lily. I get it mate"  
"He insulted you and the rest of my friends" I responded.  
I couldn't tell him he said faggots. That horrible word. Sirius hasn't admitted his crush for Remus, if he has one. He doesn't know about Reggie as well and is not my place to talk about it. And Marlene and Dorcas aren't that close for me to defend them like that. So I didn't say anything else.

We are currently outside sitting on the grass. We are planning our next Prank. I mean Sirius is. Something about putting a rat on Umbridge car. She is the worst teacher we all hate her.   
Remus is sitting besides me, Sirius on his lap. And Peter and Em are on the other side. Ever since the Yule Ball, they spent a lot of time together. Eventhough she still is dating the wanker of Mulciber.  
"What if we turn up all the volume of her radio setting in a really heavy rock band. And then we damage it" Remus suggest "That way when she turns it on, the radio would blast with that music and she wouldn't be able to fix it"  
"You're brilliant" says Sirius with heart eyes  
"But how do we get into her car?" asks Peter  
I can't concentrate. I keep thinking of what happened. Lily, Severus, Reggie and my friends. 

Suddenly I see Lily passing by and I immediately go after her.  
"James..." Sirius says. He doesn't want more trouble for me, but I don't care.

"Lily" I don't call her Evans this time. She keeps walking and I try to catch her. "Lily please" I touch her arm and she stops.  
"What did your friend say about me?" She doesn't answer "Did he talk shit about me? Or he finally told you what happened?"  
"I...I just don't want to talk about it James" she doesn't look at me.  
"Lily" I say carefully "He is lying to you. I reacted because he insulted my friends. And he said other things..." Like the fact that she hates me, which pissed me off.  
"James" she says "He has gone through so much. With his family and all"  
"That's not excuse for being a complete asshole" I sight "You don't deserve to be friends with someone like that"  
"Sev is not a bad person" she continues "And you shouldn't care about me"  
"I care"  
"James..."   
"Lily I freaking care about you"  
"Is just a stupid crush"   
"Is not a stupid crush" I sight and rub my hair again "Lily I lo..." I love you "I fancy you a lot, okay?" I say "I did a lot of for you. I gave you the necklace. I organized the party for you. Just to make you happy"  
"You did what?" Shit.   
She looks at me puzzled. I ignore her.  
"Can we just stop this game, please?"   
"What game James?"   
"This game. You and I being friendly at one moment and at the other we hate each other. You almost kissed me that day. But you talk shit about me behind my back" I'm getting pissed off right now.  
"What..."  
"Just tell me once and for all if you like me or not"  
"I..."  
"Lily do you like me or not?" I yell a bit. I really want to know.  
"I don't know..." Lily has tears on her eyes.   
"Do you fancy him?" I don't want her to answer that.   
"I don't know..." she starts crying. And I sight.  
"Fine I won't bother you anymore" I say and I start to leave very upset.  
"James" I turn around "You don't get to be angry at me" she says.  
I don't answer "I can control what I feel or who I fancy okay? And none of you have the right to be angry at me"  
"I'm not angry at you" I say and is true, I'm not. I'm done.  
I'm starting to leave but Lily Evans grabs me by the neck and kisses me. She freaking kisses me and I kiss her back.


	13. Frank

I've been dating Alice just for a few months and I think I'm in love with her. I know it is too soon. But she is amazing. And I love everything about her. I dated a few girls but none of them are like her.   
Her parents want to meet me and I'm freaking out. I really want to make a good impression. All her family is bloody rich and I'm not.   
My family is full of kids. I have three little siblings. All of them at school and I had to give up Uni to help them with the expenses. So now I work at The Leaky Cauldron, our coffee shop. So I have nothing to offer Alice, I know. 

I'm currently sitting at Marlene's car outside of Alice's. My jaw drops at the sight of her house. Is ten times bigger than mine.   
Remus pats my shoulder simpatheticly. He is sitting beside me. Marlene is on the driver's seat and Dorcas is next to her.  
"So they are dating now?" Marlene asks   
"Yep. They are pretty adorable" answers Remus "And they snog a lot, like a lot" the girls laugh "Lily haven't talked to Severus yet. She reckons he would be mad"  
"I don't want to see that poor's bloke face when she tells him" Dorcas says "Seems like he fancies her a lot"  
"Well James is better" Remus says "And James said he was talking shit about gay people"  
"I would've punched him in the face as well" adds Marlene.  
I'm happy for that couple, but honestly I don't bloody care about the gossip right now. I'm dying of nervousness.   
"Hello!" I say "I thought you were going to support me? That's the only reason I came with you lot"  
They all laugh.  
"You'll do fine, Frankie" Marlene says "You're lovable for parents. Mom loves you"  
"Just be yourself" Remus says "Just don't talk a lot, like you use to"   
"Oi!" I protest and Remus smiles.   
"Okay" I say "I'm getting in"  
"Yes! Go get them Frankie!" Marlene yells   
"Good luck Frank" Remus says  
"If something goes wrong, we'll get you another girl"  
"Dorcas!" Marlene and Remus yell at her.  
I smile "Very good friends, you are"   
I get out of the car and fix my suit. I rented this one just for tonight. So tomorrow I have to give it back. And I've hidden the tags. Shit I'm a disaster. 

I approach the house. My palms are sweaty. And I'm breathing hard.   
I knock. Relax Frank! Probably Alice's parents are not that bad. 

Alice opens the door and she smiles at me. That beautiful smile she has. She is wearing a blue dress that shows a bit of her back. She is wearing red lipstick, her favourite. I still had red lipstick marks in some of my shirts.  
"Frank"   
"Hello love" she blushes and she kisses me.  
"You look beautiful as always" I say. With Alice I just simply tell the truth. I can talk for hours until someone has to stop me. I hope I won't do that tonight.   
"Thanks" she says "Come in"   
Her house looks bigger from the inside. I can see a big pool on the back. Expensive chandeliers. Everything looks expensive.  
"Your father belongs to the mafia, right?" I ask her  
She laughs.   
"You're a fool Frank Longbottom" she kisses my cheek "I love you"   
Wait, what? She hasn't said that before. My heart starts beaiting fast. She loves me? She loves me!  
"What did you say?"   
Alice smiles but before she answers her parents get in. Her dad is in his fifty's wearing a nice suit with white hair. And her mom is a really like really beautiful woman. Blond hair. She looks like a freaking model. I see where Al got the looks from.  
"Hello there" Mr. Fortescue says  
"Hello sir" I answer quickly.   
"Mom, dad" Alice says "This is Frank Longbottom. My boyfriend" she smiles.  
They both look at me without saying anything.   
"Amm... Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Fortescue. It is actually a pleasure. I can see where Alice got her beauty from" I smile at the end.  
"Is nice to meet you son" Mr. Fortescue says "Call me Roger. This is my wife Charlotte"   
"Hello" says Charlotte is a really noticable french accent.  
"Come in" Roger says "Don't be shy. He grabs me by my shoulders. So Alice told us you're 21. Fancy a drink?"

Roger filled me up with his anecdotes about golf, business, parties and friends. Which most of them were pretty funny. Alice comments now and then and Mrs. Fortescue doesn't talk much. Alice said she doesn't speak much English. But she smiles a lot.   
Roger also gives me a lot of whiskeys. And this is embarrassing but I'm not used to drink that much and I'm kind of dizzy.   
"So Frank" Roger says "Enough of me. Tell me about you. What do you do?"   
"I... I work sir"   
"Business man, are you?"  
"Actually I work at the Coffee Shop that my family owns" I say and Roger looks disappointed "But we are doing good. We have solid costumers. Lots of them"  
Roger finally smiles "I bet you're saving for Uni, aren't you? A lad with big dreams?" he says "We are planning to send our Alice to University in America. She wants to be a doctor, just like her daddy"  
"Dad!" Alice protests. I look at her smiling "You didn't tell me that" I say. I'm not angry. I'm just curious.  
"Sorry" she says  
"It's fine" I squeeze her hand smiling.  
"So Frank" Roger continues "What Uni are you planning on going?"   
I'm not. I mean it was never a possibility for me. And it was okay by me. I spend most of my money on my siblings and my family. I bearly have something to myself.   
"I'm not going to Uni sir" I say  
"So you're planning to work at the coffee shop forever?"   
"Dad!"   
"C'mon Rrogerg, leave the poorg kid alone.." Charlotte says after a long time with her french accent.  
Shit. I never thought about Uni. I mean yes. I have dreams but I know they are not possible. And I was content with that.  
"I..."   
"That's fine Frank" says Roger "I'm sorry"   
Roger drops the subject reluctantly. Instead Alice talks about her riding horses lessons when she was little and developed a fear towards them. It was a lovely evening. 

After dinner I'm more relaxed. I don't know why I was nervous in the first place. Alice and I hold each other's hand and she lays her head on my shoulder. We exchange glances and smiles. She is amazing.  
"Tea? Anyone?" Mrs. Fortescue asks   
"Yes mom, please" Alice says. I was about to accept when Mr. Fortescue grabs my shoulder.   
"Let the ladies grab their tea" he says "Let me show you something. Only for men"   
"Oh, okay" I say awkwardly.

I follow Roger to a large downstairs to a very large dark room. He turns out the lights and my jaw drops. In front of me there are like six cars. Ferraris, BMWs, Cadillacs and Rolls-Royce.  
"What do you think son?"   
I laugh "Bloody hell! This is amazing"   
"Go and take a look" and I run between each one of them looking at them carefully. They are beautiful.   
"You see, son. I've worked really hard to get all I have. That's life, about efforts and not confirming with less. Take advantage of every opportunity life gives you"  
I think he wants to get somewhere. But I try not to take it personally.   
"But you" he continues "Life is going to give you a big chance easily"  
"Sorry?"   
"Pick one" he says "You can't have it"  
What? Did I heard him right? A bloody car?  
"Sir?"   
"You can use it, sell it, whatever you want"  
I don't like where this is going.  
"But you have to leave Alice alone" he says  
Shit.  
"I..."  
"You know she deserves better Frank" he continues "She will go to America, be doctor and marry a bloke who can give her what she deserves. You? You are going to enjoy your Ferrari, your BMW, your Rolls Royce and be stuck here your hole life"  
I get angry. "I might not have money, sir" I say "But I have dignity. And I love your daughter. So much" I sight "And I think is her who has to decide her future. And if she wants to be with me or not"  
He doesn't respond. He looks furious.  
"Good night" I say leaving the room.

When I get upstairs, Alice looks so happy that I don't tell her what an idiot her father is. I thank Mrs. Fortescue who smiles at me geniunly and I kiss Alice on the cheek and leave. I start walking away from the house when I hear my name.  
"Frank! Frank!"   
I turn around to see Alice from a top window.  
"Hey" I say smiling. She is not guilty to have the family she has "What are you doing?"   
"Come up" she says. My heart starts beating fast.  
"How?" I ask her   
"I don't know, climbing?" she smiles.  
I try to climb to her window which is very difficult by the way and I manage to do it.   
"God! I'm old! I don't think I'll ever do something like that again"   
Alice laughs but she hushes me "They will hear you" she says.   
We look at each other for a while and Alice kisses me. It feels so freaking good. And she starts unbottoning my shirt. I stop kissing her.  
"Al" I whisper "I don't think..."   
"Shut up Longbottom" she says smiling.  
"Okay" I say. She kisses me again. It is our first time. I mean I had sex before. But is my first time with her. I don't want to spoil it or hurt her.   
She drags me to her bed and I lay down my heart beating fast. She climbs on top of me. And I don't care what people say. Her father, her mother, the world.  
"I love you Alice" I say. She smiles.  
"I love you Frank" she says. And we kiss again.


	14. Regulus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Homophobia, Violence & Blood. Too much Angst on this one. Sorry :(

Why is it so fucking difficult to find a taxi at London? I'm trembling too much and I don't think I can hold Sirius anymore. He can't stay still. Sirius has bruises all over his face. He is bleeding. His face is bloody unrecognizable right now.   
"Reg..." he can't speak properly as well. I raise my hand so a bloody taxi stop.  
"Please..." Sirius says "I don't want anyone to see me like this"  
"Shut up Sirius" I say breathing hard "It will be fine okay?" 

A taxi stops and I get Sirius in. I get in next to him.  
"What the bloody hell happened to him?" the taxi driver asks.  
"Just fucking drive, okay?" I give him James' address.   
I'm still pissed at him. He didn't tell me anything about the kiss. And I had to find out from Barty, that he is dating Evans now. It made me hate him and Evans a lot. But that's not important right now.  
Sirius puts his head on my shoulder and he sobs there. "It's okay, Siri. We're almost there" I say as confident as I can but my voice, my whole freaking body is trembling.

When we get to James' I take some money out of my pocket and I notice my hands are covered in blood. I give the driver the money. "Keep the change" I say.  
I take Sirius out. He is in so much pain. I try to get to the door but Sirius can't take it anymore and drops to the floor. Shit. I can't carry him anymore, I don't have the strength.  
"James" I yell. My voice sounds high pitched full of pain and fear. Nobody answers.  
"James, help. Please" I repeat "James!" I scream more loudly. The door opens and there he is. He goes pale at the sight of us. But hurries to carry Sirius.  
"Oh shit, bloody hell" he says.  
Between the two we carry Sirius inside.  
"Mom! Dad?" James calls. And they come running.  
Mrs. Potter gasps at the sight of my brother. "Oh Jesus!" she covers her mouth.  
Mr. Potter helps James to carry Sirius to the next couch. I'm trembling like crazy.  
I see how they lay down my brother and examine him.  
"Euphi" Mr. Potter says "Call a doctor, an ambulance, anything" He sounds worried.  
Sirius coughs blood. I just stay there trembling.  
"Reg" James touches my shoulder "You're covered in blood. Are you hurt?"  
I shake my head.  
"Why don't you go and take a shower? I'll lend you some clothes"   
"Sirius..." I manage to say  
"It's okay. We'll take care of him" I look at him for assurances "He'll be okay Reg"  
I nod.

I take a shower. Under the water I can see Sirius' blood washing away. Events from the night flash into my head and I cry. I cry and scream frustration. I hug myself trembling. And I cry even more under the water.  
After the shower I step into James' clothes. Some jeans and a sweatshirt. I feel better and more calmed.

I go downstairs to check on my brother. But I only see James. He is sitting on the table, cup of tea on his hands and he is crying.   
"James?" I ask very quietly. When he notices me he wipes his tears and smiles.  
"Reg, come and sit down"  
"Where is my brother?"   
"He's fine" he says "The doctor gave him some sedatives for the pain. He is asleep now"  
"Your parents?"   
"Talking with the doctor"   
I don't ask anything else.  
"Sit down" James says "Do you want some tea?"   
I nod sitting down and James pours me a cup.  
"Thanks"   
He looks at me for a while. "Are you gonna tell me what happened Reg?"   
I look down. Flashes of what happened come to my mind. Father hitting Sirius with all his strength. Sirius crying. Mother yelling. Me pleading him to stop.  
I start trembling again. James grabs my hand.  
"Hey, it's okay" he says "You can tell me"  
I look into those amber eyes. He' had always made me feel safe, secure.  
"Father..." I begin "He saw this article about a gay pride parade in London" I sniff " And... He just went on and on about how being gay is wrong and disgusting... And how they are sick"  
I stop to look at James. I kissed him. He is a bloke. I don't want him to think I'm one of those things. But he simply nods for me to continue.  
"Sirius couldn't take it anymore and he..." I take a breath "He said that it was a shame because he is one of them and he has a crush on a bloke..."  
I have tears in my eyes and I wipe them up "Father exploted and he started hitting him ..." I start crying.  
James sits next to me hugging me.  
"He wasn't stopping James" I sob "he was going to kill him..." I cry into his shoulder and he kisses my head.  
"I think he jus' stopped 'cause he was tired..." I continue "He said he woul...dn't have a fag...got for a son, mo...ther didn' do anythin'. She just wat..ched while smokin'. She said Si..riius... asked for it" I just simply talk, I tell him everything "And I... I dragged Sirius here... I didn't know wha..at else to do..." I cry more.   
And I feel James' hands stroking my back.   
"I'm so sorry Reg" I hear James' voice braking.   
He lets me cry until I steady myself.

"Hey Reg" he makes me look at him grabbing my chin "Your parents are wrong. It is not an illness, it is not wrong. You're not broken, okay? You can love whoever you want"  
I know he is taking about the kiss. But I want to forget about it.  
"I'm not gay James" I say "I was high on a drug Barty gave me" I lie "I didn't mean to kiss you"  
James closes his eyes and sigh.  
"Reggie don't lie to me, okay?" he says "Not to me. Not to yourself"  
Shit. He always sees right through me.  
"But you don't fancy me" I say with tears on my eyes and I feel embarrased on myself "You are with Evans"  
James sighs "I'm sorry" he says "I should've have talked to you first"  
I shake my head in response.  
"I love you Reggie" he says "I love you like a little brother"   
Shit. I look down trying to swallow my tears.  
"Reg, I promise you, you're going to find someone. An amazing bloke. Who loves you unconditionally"  
But I don't want any bloke. I want him. But I don't say that.  
"You're going to fall in love with him so hard, that this crush for me is going to be a joke to you" he says smiling.  
I smile back. Eventhough I'm dying inside. He will never be a joke to me. I love him. But I can't have him.  
"I hope the best for you and Evans" I say. And he smiles at me. And kisses my head, rubbing my hair.  
"You're amazing Reggie" 

Mr. and Mrs. Potter come after a while. Mrs. Potter hugs me tight with tears in her eyes.   
"Oh sweetheart"   
"Regulus" Mr. Potter says "You can stay here as long as you want. You and your brother"  
James smiles at me.  
"Nobody will touch you here, okay?" Mr. Potter finishes. I simply nod. I feel bad about leaving my parents. Specially mom. She doesn't stand father. I'm afraid of what she might do.  
"I'm gonna call Remus and Peter tomorrow" James says "They might want to see your brother. Is that okay?"   
I don't think Sirius wants to see anyone right now. But being with his friends might do him some good.  
"Yeah" I say  
James nods "Why don't you go and sleep for a bit? Get some rest?"

I nod and I go to James' room where my brother is. He is fast sleep. His wounds don't look so bad anymore but his eye is swollen. There's purple, blue, red everywhere. Sirius is gonna hate this. He loves his face, he cares too much about his appearance.  
I sight laying next to him.  
"I love you Sirius" I whisper kissing his head. And I go fast to sleep.


	15. Remus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of Violence

David Bowie. I've never paid attention to his music. I was more into Joni Mitchell for my mom. But then I met Sirius, David Bowie's number one fan. We stayed on the phone the other night talking non stop about the most random things. And he asked me if I've listened to David Bowie.   
"I need to Bowieducate you" he said "I can't believe you don't like David Bowie"  
"I never said I don't like him" I say smiling  
"Name a song about him" he said I could picture his bright smile  
"Space Cowboy or something?"   
He laughed. That made me smile like an idiot.  
"I'll have to give you a lesson"  
"Are you gonna test me?"   
"You better do good in your test" he said "Or maybe, you can bribe the teacher. Meaning me"  
That made me blush.

I didn't think I could fall in love with someone. Not with a bloke. Not with someone like Sirius. Not after Dora. I still miss her. She sent me letters now and then. With her, I felt like I gave everything, like I did everything to make her feel special. But Sirius just makes me feel special. Which I'm not. But I secretly like it. I think that makes me bisexual. 

I've been listening to Bowie non stop for the last two days. And my favourite song so far is Space Oddity. I close my eyes and think about Sirius. Both of us in space kissing, perhaps more. I smile at the thought. I imagine Sirius kissing me everywhere...

A knock on my door interrups my thoughts.   
"Remus. It's late. Come for breakfast" it's my dad. I'm staying at his house this week. I hate it. I sigh and walk downstairs.  
Sally my father's new wife is on the kitchen. She is five months pregnant. I hate the fact that I'm having a sibling with a different mother. My father is sitting on the table.   
"Sleeping late are we?" he says   
"I'm a teenager" I say "We all sleep a lot"   
Sally laughs. And sits at the table.  
"So how's your mother?" Dad asks  
"Good I guess"   
"Tell me she doesn't only go to work and home, like before" Sally asks "She needs to take time for herself"   
It is true. Mom is too focused on work. She distracts herself from the fact that she is depressed and single  
"At least she has a job, Sally" Sally doesn't work. My father maintains her.  
"Remus" my dad protests.  
I can see Sally looks rather sad.  
"I'm sorry Sally" I say "I didn't mean to be rude"  
She smiles "It's okay" 

I finish my breakfast quickly and go to the sink. And I see an empty bottle of wine. Shit. My father is not supposed to drink.  
"What is this?" I ask him very pissed off   
"Remus..."   
"I thought you were sobber" Dad is an alcoholic and he is going to rehab.  
"It was actually me" says Sally   
"Don't lie to me Sally, you're pregnant" she looks down embarrassed.  
"Dad?"  
"We had a few friends yesterday. They drank most of it. I just had a cup"  
"A cup can trigger it dad"   
"Remus don't exagerate"  
"EXAGERATE?" I say "May I remind you what alcohol causes? You just have to look at my face"   
"Remus, stop it!"   
The phone rings and Sally hurries to answer. I look at dad with disgust.  
"Remus?" Sally says "It is for you"   
I go to answer.  
"Hello?"  
"Remus, mate" is James "I've been trying to contact you. Your mom gave me this number"  
"What happened?" I ask  
"Is Sirius, mate" he sights "You need to come at mine ASAP"  
I hung up the phone quickly. Sirius. Shit.

I borrow my dad's car, eventhough I'm a terrible driver. Shit! Why does London traffic have to be a bitch? I get to James' as soon as I can.   
Mrs. Potter greets me simpatheticly. I spot James, Peter and Regulus with worried faces. It seems Regulus has been crying, my heart drops.   
"Regulus what happened?" I ask. He doesn't answer.   
And I get anxious "Regulus what the bloody hell happened?" I yell rather rude.  
"Hey, mate is okay" James says hugging Regulus "Sirius is okay. He is fine"   
My heart comes back to me again. And I breath properly.   
"What happen to him?" I ask more calmly.  
Regulus avoids talking.   
"His father hit him" Peter says  
"He came out as gay. He said he fancied a bloke" James said.   
He looks at me like saying 'obviously you'. My heart starts beating fast. What? Sirius got hit because of me?  
"Where is he?"   
"Upstairs in my room" James says  
"He doesn't want to see anyone though" Peter adds "Although he might want to see you"

I go upstairs to James' room. Shit this bloody house is enormous. I knock the door.  
"Go away!" I hear Sirius say. He sounds so broken. Shit. I want to hug him.  
I open the door carefully "Sirius?" I say  
He's laying down facing the window. He doesn't turn though  
"Remmy?" he says. I smile. "Yeah it's me"  
"I don't want you to see me like this" he says.  
"I don't care how you look" I respond "Can I come closer?"   
Sirius hummes and I take that as a yes. I lay down carefully beside him. Facing the ceiling.  
"James told me what happened" I begin "You're are very brave"  
"I'm an idiot" he says "I deserve it"  
"Don't say that"  
"Now I'm probably gonna have my face like this forever" I smile. He is such a drama queen.  
"Coming from the lad with scars on his face" I say "You're not gonna get any, trust me"  
"But you're beautiful Rem" I blush.  
"You want to know how I got my scars?" he doesn't say anything so I continue   
"I was eight and my father was supposed to pick me up from school. But that day he was waisted. He was an alcoholic. He got drunk at work with his mates" I sigh at the memory "And because of that we had a terrible car accident. I had my seatbelt on but because of me being so skinny and little" I slightly laugh "I flew away and rolled over the pavement" I sigh again "So my mother blamed my father for my permanent scars and that's what broke their relationship. Me"  
"Is not your fault. I was your dad's" Sirius rolls over to face me and I see his face. He has bruises everywhere his lower lip is opened and his left eye is swollen.  
"Oh Siri" I say touching carefully his cheek. He closes his eyes at my touch and I have tears in my eyes now. I'm angry at Sirius' father for hurting him like this. I want to kill him.  
"Thank you for telling me your story" Sirius says  
"Only you know it completely" I say. Sirius smiles.  
"Really?"  
I nod smiling. "I like that" he says.  
Sirius stays silent for a while and I just look at him stroking his cheek. He is beautiful. I wouldn't mind if he stays with those bruises forever. Suddenly Sirius starts crying.   
"My parents hate me, Rem" he sobs. He seats up so I don't look at him crying.   
"I've tried so hard to not be like them but I'm a mess" he sniffs "I'm always going to be like them. A freaking monster. I do stupid things just because I fucking explode. I don't measure the consequences"   
It breaks my heart hearing him talk like that.  
"Sirius" I sit down and put my forehead on his back. "You're not a monster" I say "You're amazing. You care about your friends. About me. A lad you just met. I could be a fucking serial killer for that matter"  
He laughs between sobs. "You make me feel so safe. So good about myself"  
I search carefully for my next words  
"I..." I love you "I really like you Sirius"   
He looks at me with his eyes glowing for the tears. For me. He smiles and he gives me a quick peek on the lips. I smile and I do the same.   
Then we look into each other's eyes. Just hungry for each other. And then we kiss. This time passionetly like we were craving this for so long. His lips taste like blood but I don't mind. I press onto his lips, trying to be swallowed by him. He grabs my hair and plays with my curls. I feel so wild and hungry. Not delicate and sweet like I did with Dora. This is much better.   
We only stop kissing 'cause we get out of breath. We press each other's foreheads smiling like idiots.   
"I think we are both gay now" I say and he laughs. And his laughter feels my heart.  
He kisses me again. Pushing me to the bed and we lay down still kissing.   
He puts his head on my chest when he is tired. Although I want to kiss him more. Again and again.  
"Moony" he says  
"What?" I ask smiling  
"You know how I'm named after a star?" he asks and I nod even though he can't see me.  
"Stars are nothing without the moon. Together they light up the night sky" he says "You're the moon to my stars. Moony" he looks at me.   
I smile kissing him again. I love it.  
"Moony and Padfoot. I like it" I say. Sirius cuddles into my chest again. Pleased with himself.  
"Is ten times better than No Uniform" I say and Sirius laughs kissing my neck.


	16. Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Eating Disorders

I can't run anymore. I'm out of breath.   
"Mom, wait" I say grabbing my knees. This is too much for me. "I'm done"  
Mom set me up these daily routines to stay in shape. She is a personal trainer. I only agreed because I don't do excercise and I want to be brawny like James or Sirius. They play football.   
"C'mon Sweetypie" mom says still jogging "We need to make ten minutes more"   
"Mom. I have class in an hour" I protest  
"C'mon Peter your were always this lazy" she says "That's why you were fatty, remember?"   
I do remember. I used to be very fat when I was little. And I got bullied for it. When I was 12, James and Sirius defended me and I became friends with them. They protected me. But I lost weight over the years.   
"I do remember mom" I say upset  
"I'm only telling you this Peter for your own good" mom smiles at me.  
"Okay" she stars running again and I run after her.  
"Mom?" I say  
"Yes sweetie?"   
"Have you ever loved someone who doesn't love you back?" I ask thinking about Em. I've tried being her friend. I really have. But seing her every day literally hurts. Maybe I will never have her. I'm not like Prongs, the Romeo of the story. I'm simply the sympathetic best friend.  
"Peter can I tell you an advice?" mom says "People love pretty people, even if they say they don't. Image is everything"  
I roll my eyes.  
"If you want this girl, you have to be fitter"   
She stops and I do as well. I'm out of breath.   
"Babykins" she says grabbing my chin "I know you have a lovely heart and an amazing personality. Just like your mom" she winks "But is just how the world works. Okay?"   
I nod "Okay"  
"And I don't want you to get bullied again, okay?"  
"Okay"  
"Okay now give me ten push ups"  
"Mom!" I protest clearly tired  
"Just ten"   
I sigh and I start do push ups.  
I bearly have time to shower, worse eat something. Well better, I'm not even hungry. This way I won't get fat. Is better that way. Probably I'll eat an apple or something later. I run. I'm late for school.

Later that day, I feel tired again. I want to sleep. Mom is pushing me too hard with excercise.   
We are sitting at Hogwarts common room, where students just chill or study. It is full of couches, seats it has a pool table and other games.  
Remus is sitting in one armchair reading a book. Sirius laying on his lap. He is stroking his hair. I'm so happy that they are a couple now. It was about time. Sirius' face is much better, just some scratches. Him and Reggie are staying at James'. His parents are thinking of starting a trial against Mr. and Mrs. Black, to see if they can keep the boys. I hope they win.  
James is seating on an armchair in front playing with a ball rolling it over and taking with Sirius about soccer teams in general. But I don't pay attention. I don't feel to well. I'm really tired.   
I see Mulciber passing by and laughing with his mates. He makes kissing noices at Sirius and Remus.   
"Gaaay!" he says and his friends laugh.  
"Keep walking Mulciber, fucking asshole" James says ready to hit him with the ball.  
"Kiss my ass Mulciber" says Sirius sending him kisses.  
Mulciber rolls his eyes and he leaves. What an asshole, Em deserves better. Suddenly I feel a bit of nausea.   
Lily comes in and sits beside James.  
"Hey" she says smiling.  
"Hey beautiful" he says smiling like a fool.  
"Amm..." Lily shakes her head "Your tie is all a mess. I'll fix it for you" while she does it, they look at each other fondly.  
Remus and Sirius exchange glances smiling.   
"There" says Lily when she finishes.  
"Oi! Lily can you do my tie as well?" Sirius says smirking and Remus and I laugh.  
"Yes, yes mine is a bit loose as well" Remus jokes.  
"Oh shut up" says Lily blushing  
"No. Lily wait. I do have a question" continues Remus "So the intense staring comes with it? Or is that an extra?" he smiles.  
"Not you Rem" Lily says "You were supposed to be my friend" Remus smiles and he sends her a kiss.   
Sirius brust into laughter "Nice one, Moony" they hit palms. Sirius has been calling Remus 'Moony' these days. I don't know why. I smile as well.  
"See? This is why I don't sit with you loosers" she says upset but clearly smiling.  
Suddenly the world starts moving around me and I only hear my friends through an eco.  
"Okay. Enough stop bothering my girlfriend" James says. They all laugh  
"Peter... Peter" I blink hard and the world steadies itself.   
"Are you okay?" Remus asks. I hear him correctly this time.   
"Mm? Ah yes. Yes I'm fine" I say "Just tired. I'm gonna wash my face" I say and I stand up.

While I walk the corridors everything becomes blurry. I feel nausea again.  
"Peter! Hi, Peter!" Em catches me. "I missed History this morning. Nick wanted to skip class" she says blushing.  
But I don't pay her attention, the world is moving again.  
"I heard there is a history project, can I do it with you, please?"   
"Amm...yeah, yeah..."  
I grab my head. Everything is spinning, please stop spinning.  
"Peter, are you okay?" I look at Em and she looks blurry. Suddenly I see black dots around her.  
"I.." I drop to the floor and suddenly everything is black.  
The last thing I hear is Emmeline, my sweet Em screaming my name. 

I open my eyes slowly. When they ajust I can see that I'm at the Hospital Wing.   
"Peter!" I hear Em's relieved voice and I can see she is sitting next to me. She looks worried.  
"What happened?" I ask.  
"You fainted" I mean I know I fainted, but I don't know why actually.   
"Pomfrey says is because you haven't eaten anything" Em says "You ran out of energy"   
I laugh slithly "Well I missed breakfast so that must be it" I say "Thank you for bringing me here, Em"  
I'm about to get up, but Emmeline stops me.  
"Peter" her eyes are watery "She also said you don't have enough vitamins and other stuff. That you might have an eating disorder" her voice is full of concern.  
I laugh but she doesn't "C'mon that's ridiculous. Just because I skipt one meal"  
Em doesn't answer. She just looks down.   
"Emmeline, I'm fine" I say trying to convince mostly myself. I mean I tried take care of what I eat, and sometimes I just don't eat when I'm not hungry. But it doesn't mean I have a disorder. Right?  
"Is just that" she continues "I haven't seen you eat a proper meal in a long time"  
"Is just coincidence" I say "It just happens that I'm not hungry when I'm with you"  
"Okay" she says "Then eat this" she takes out one of those protein bars and I feel nauseaus. Those things have too much sugar. I don't like sugar. I use to eat a lot when I was little. Now sugar makes me think of chubby me back then, chocking junks. I hate myself back then.  
"No" I say  
"Peter eat this!" she practically orders me.   
"No, I don't want to"  
"Why not?"  
"I don't like those things. I'll eat something later"  
"Peter you're always making excuses" she talks like a mother "Please eat this now. In front of me"  
I just shake my head "No"  
"Peter!"   
I feel more nausea "No"  
"Just please!" she pleades.  
And then I loose my patience.   
"FOR GOD'S SAKE I SAID I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO, EMMELINE!"  
I few sick students around look towards us. Luckily Miss Pomfrey is nowhere to be seen.  
Tears start running on Em's cheeks. I feel bad.  
"God Em, just leave me alone"   
"I'm trying help you Peter" she says "I'm worried about you"   
"I'm just tired" I say "It was just a one time thing. I just need some sleep"   
"Peter you're sick!"  
"Shit! I'm not sick!" I say "Now you're worried about me, don't you? Oh please, you don't give a shit about me"  
"Peter we are friends"  
"I freaking love you Emmeline!" I don't know what I'm saying. I'm very frustrated. "You fucking know that and you don't care! You just use me for class projects and to make your stupid boyfriend jelaous. So give me a break and leave me alone"  
I sit up and put on my uniform jacket.  
Emmeline is crying now.   
"I'm gonna tell your friends"  
"Don't you dare" I say "They'll worry. They don't need to worry"  
"Your friends need to know, Peter" she says "If you keep like this you're going to end up in a Hospital"  
"IF YOU TELL MY BLOODY FRIENDS, I'LL STOP TALKING TO YOU" I yell "Forever"   
And with that I storm out of the Hospital Wing.


	17. Lily

James Potter is very handsome. I haven't noticed before because I kind of hated him. Big mistake. I started having feeling for bloody Potter after he drove me home. I couldn't take his scent out of my mind. And I caught myself staring at him at classes. I really wanted to kiss him at my birthday party. And I finally did. We've been kind of snogging and stuff, but I don't know if we are a couple yet. I mean I haven't talked with Severus, he's been avoiding me. And I know he is going to be pissed. He hates James after what happens at the party.

I'm currently sitting on the grass trying to read, trying to concentrate 'cause freaking James Potter is besides me laying down. I've been reading the same sentence over and over again.   
James picks my cheek with a branch or something. I smile. He keeps doing it. I bite my lip to avoid laughing.  
"James!" I say "Stop it!" but I smile at him. I lay down besides him.  
"What's the point of being on a date if we can't snog?"   
I laugh "This is not a date" I say "You ask me what I was doing after school and I literally said 'Studying'. And then you said"   
I make my best James impression   
"'Well I'm doing that with you Evans, is a date' and you just came along with me"   
James laughs "It is a date" he says and I kiss him mostly to shut him up.  
I drop my book aside.  
"Now thanks to you I can't study" I say  
"Don't be such a dork" I punch him "Ouuu!" I laugh.  
I kiss James again. Seriously he is a very good kisser, somehow I can't stop.   
I lay down on his chest. He strokes my hair.  
"I need to tell Sev about us. Whatever this is"   
I can feel him get stiff at the sound of his name.   
I know this would piss him off.   
"He is my best friend" I continue "And I want you two to make things right" Shit.  
He stays silent for a while. But I hear his heart beating fast.   
"Okay" I look at him. Really? "I would really like to see Snivellus' face when you tell him you love me" he smirks. I roll my eyes.  
"And I'll talk to him if that's what you want" he continues "But I'm not going to apologise"   
"James..."  
"He bloody insulted my friends Lily!" he sits down in frustration and rubs his hair. It looks so messy and with a few plants on it. I start taking them off carefully.  
"I don't know how can you be his friend, Lily"   
"He's not a bad person" he shakes his head "He has been through so much. His father hits him" I'm not angry I try not to fight with James. I kiss his shoulder.  
"That's not an excuse to be a shitty person, GOD!" he rips off some plants and throw them. I don't say anything.  
"Remember that motorbike accident Sirius told everyone about?" I nod.  
"It was a lie. His father bit the shit out of him"   
I go pale. "What?"  
He nods "Just because he told him he is gay and fancies Remus" Oh shit. I definitely didn't know that.   
"And he has been brainwashing Reggie" James sounds really angry   
"Reggie?" I didn't know he was gay as well.  
"He kissed me" he smiles at me expecting me to get jelaous. I raise an eyebrow "Long story" he says and he kisses my cheek.  
"I know I shouldn't have punched him, not more than once" he continues "But it really pissed me off" he says in a raging voice. He shakes. I stroke his hair to calm him down. "He called them 'faggots' Lily. My friends. They are like my bloody family. Sirius and Reg are like my brothers. Remus has become a very special friend for me" I smile "And I don't know Dorcas and Marlene well but I had to defend them"  
I don't know what to answer. I want to defend Severus but it is impossible at this point. They are my friends as well and I don't bloody care who they love.  
"I know he is your friend Lils but if he talks about my friends again, I think I could kill him" he looks beyond with his eyes bloodshot. I'm scared. Not for he might do. But because he might get into trouble and I wouldn't stand loosing him. I love him. My eyes feel with tears and I lay down on the grass looking at the sky. He lays next to me stroking my hair and wiping my tears.   
"I need to talk to him" I say "I know you don't understand it James. But he is my friend and I just can give up on him so easily" he sighs "Just like you wouldn't do it for your friends" he nods. And I smile at him. He smiles back.   
"You really are a dork Evans" I hit his shoulder.   
"You're gonna pay" and he starts tickling me. I laugh. "Stop! Ahahaha...please stop... Haha"   
He stops and he looks at me and he kisses me again

After my 'date' (it wasn't a date) with James I come home to see my sister Petunia and her ex Vernon laughing in the kitchen. What? I never like Vernon. He wasn't that much into the pregnancy thing. He came into Dudley's life much later. Tuney can't make the same mistake again.   
"Hello" I say  
"Oh, hi Lily" Tuney says kind of embarrassed.  
"Hi Lily" Vernon says "Haven't seen you in a while. How's school?"   
"Fine" I'm being rude but honestly I don't care. Vernon notices.   
"Well" he says standing up "I better go. Long day tomorrow. Can you give a goodnight kiss to Dudley for me, please Tuney?"   
"Yeah sure" she says smiling.  
"Bye Lily" he says.  
"Bye" and he leaves.

"That was quite rude" Tuney says picking up the cups  
"What are you doing Tuney?" I ask "You can go back there"  
"We were just chatting" he said "And if I did what's the problem? He is the father of my child"  
"And he is a wanker" I say "Remember how he played fool when Dudley was born? I stood there for you not him"  
"Lily, he has changed" she answers "He loves Dudley more than anything in this world"  
"I just don't like him"  
"WELL IS NOT UP TO YOU, IS IT?"  
Petunia throws the cups on the sink angrily. She sighs and steadies herself   
"Dudley needs his father. And I feel lonely" she has tears on her eyes. I don't answer. I want to hug my sister but,  
"Leely?!" Oh, good Dudley is awake. He calls me from his room.  
"Go" Tuney says "He needs you"   
"You're not alone" I say smiling "You have me" and I go into Dudley's room.

"Hi monkey" I say. Dudley is laying on his bed. It is too big for him. He is yawning and scrubbing his eyes. I kiss his forehead.  
"Is Daddy gon'?" he asks   
"Yes" I say "He sent you a big goodnight kiss" I say as I kiss him multiple times. He giggles.   
"Ar' him an' mommy gonna live together again?" he asks with his eyes glowing.  
"Would you like that?"  
He nods "But you hab to staay..." he says grabbing my arm.   
"Oh monkey" I answer "I'm never gonna leave your side" Dudley smiles. I lay next to him and he soon falls asleep.

When Dudley is fast asleep I slit careful into my room. I sit on my bed and with a bid sigh, I pick up the phone and dial his number. The phone rings for a while.  
"Lily. I can't speak now" Sev's voice sounds hoarse.  
"I just want to meet up to speak to you" I say "Can we meet up this weekend?"  
"I can't this weekend" Shit  
"Next one?" Silence. I can hear screaming on the background, probably his parents.  
"Yeah next sounds good"  
"Okay then I'll see you ne..."  
"Goodbye Lily" and he hangs out. I do it as well. I sigh and lay down on my bed.


	18. Emmeline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Eating Disorders ⚠️ I know treatments are pretty hard and long, depending on each person. So please don't get offended.

I haven't told anyone about Peter. I wanted but I couldn't. I don't know how. Is his word against mine. And I don't have enough proof. What if they don't believe me? 

I currently see Peter and his friends sitting across the Great Hall. They are whispering something between each other.   
"What are you thinking about babe?" I come back to reality. Nick is sitting in front of me. "What to give me for Valentine's?" he smirks.   
Tomorrow is Valentine's day. Last year I was too focused on buying the perfect gift and preparing the perfect date with my boyfriend. Who by that time was James. I was waiting to celebrate this year with Nick. But my mind has been driving only towards Peter and the worry I have for him. I don't know what to bloody do.   
"Mmm... Yeah of course..." I say "Nick, what would you do if I were sick?"  
"Do you feel bad bunny bon?" he touches my forehead "You don't have a fever"  
"No, I don't mean that" I swallow "Like sick, sick. With a reall illness"  
Nick looks at me puzzled "Like a cancer and shit?"  
"No" I sigh "Not so bad. But badly enough"   
"Honestly princess, I don't know what you're talking about" he laughs "But if you were sick. I'll stick with ya" he winks at me. He tries to kiss me but I push him back. "Nick not here" I'm still looking at Peter.  
"What are you staring at?"   
"Nothing" I say "Maybe we should plan our date" 

Suddenly a hooded boy comes into the Great Hall. He has one of those confetti machines. He pushes a bottom and a bunch of heart shaped papers brust into the room. And the boy runs away. Many people gasp, others scream. I can see Peter and his friends trying not to laugh. They did this.   
"Oi!" Nick says picking one "Look at this. It is amazing"   
I look at it. There's a picture of Professor Flitwick with the body of a half naked girl. Underneath it reads: Be my Valentine.   
I pick a bunch more and there are different of those from different teachers including Professor Dumbledore. Male professors with female bikini bodies and female with muscular male bodies.  
I smile to myself, this boys were very clever.  
Some of the professors explote in rage. Asking who did it. Others just secretly laugh. 

On the afternoon I go searching for Nick's present with my friends. The twins: Amycus and Alecto.  
"Honestly you cannot proof that, Amycus" Alec was saying.   
I was so gone that I didn't hear the conversation "What is he talking about?"  
"There's a stupid rumor around Hogwarts that says Sirius is gay" she says  
"And he is dating that Remus lad" Amycus adds "Arrg I don't see what he sees on that bloke!"  
"He is quite nice" his sister says   
"Quite nice Al? He is hideous with those scars on his forehead. He looks like a gangster"   
We pass a local library and I see a book that catches my eye: 'Alimentation Issues: the Illness of the 21 century'   
I stop listening.   
"Am... I'll go in here" I say   
"Sweety I don't think Nick would like a book" Amycus says   
"Oh, is just for me" I lie "Catch you up later" the twins raise their shoulders. And they leave. 

I get in and I see a blond girl on the counter. She looks pretty annoyed chewing some gum and reading a magazine. A freaking Play Boy.   
"Hello" I say.  
She puts the magazine down. "What can I do for you?" she pops her gum.  
"Amm... I want that book" I point it.  
She takes it and read the title. "Anorexia or bullimia?"  
"Sorry?"   
"What do you have?"   
"Amm... Neither" I say nervously "This is for a friend"   
"Yeah okay. Your secret is safe with me" she winks.   
I don't say anything. Is she kidding?.   
"By the way" she continues "These books are pretty shit. They don't work. Trust me"   
"How do you know?"   
"I'm a bullima survivor myself"   
I laugh "You're messing up with me"   
But she looks pretty serious.  
"It really sucked. I puked all the time. I used to compete with my friend to see who was the most skinnier" she sighs.  
"Shit sorry... I didn't..."   
"It's okay"   
"How did you get out of that?"  
"Lots of therapy. A change of friends and support from my girlfriend"   
Girlfriend? Oh she doesn't look like a lesbian.  
"Look, I'm gonna give you an advice" she continues "Don't buy this bloody book" she throws it back "If you want to be better..."  
"My friend..."  
"If you want 'your friend' to be better. Is not just about the therapy. People around them have to reassure them every time, how beautiful they are. They need to feel accepted. Is gonna be hard, but with time, they need to see themselves with different eyes"   
"Thanks" I say smiling "I'll tell my friend"  
The girl smiles.  
"By the way, you look familiar" I say "What's you name?"  
"Marlene McKinnon, you?"  
I think for a bit and I recognize her "You are the bird Sirius Black kissed at that part!"  
She laughs "The very same!" she says pleased with herself "What is your name?"  
"Emmeline Vance?" I say  
"Well Emmeline Vance" she says grabbing my arm. She writes a number in it "Call me if you need anything" she smiles.

The next day I look for Peter everywhere. I need to talk to him. Let him know I can help. But I get intercepted by my boyfriend.  
"Happy Valentine's" he says giving me a flower. "Where is my present?"  
Shit! I totally forgot to buy him something. "Nick, I'm sorry I forgot..."  
He sighs "Babe, what is up with you?" he sounds very upset.  
"Sorry, okay? I'll buy you something later" e  
Eventhough it seems he just picked this flower from the Hogwarts grownds.  
"Is not about the bloody present" he says "You've been distracted. You don't pay attention to me anymore"   
I can say the same. I literally asked him that one month ago and he told me I was exaggerating.  
"You just expend time with that Pettigrew kid" he sounds jelaous "What's up with him? He is weird"  
"You don't know anything about him" I say  
"That little fatty wants to get into your pants and you are leading him on"  
"Shut up Nicolai" my temper is raising  
"Shit you're a slut" I slap him.  
"You know what Nicolai Mulciber?" I say "I'm bloody sick of you. We're done!" I start walking but I turn   
"Oh! And Peter is ten times better than you" and I storm out of there.


	19. James

I think I had enough with these two. Sirius and Remus are constantly together, snogging, hugging, flirting. Specially since Sirius lives with me now. I mean I'm happy for them but arrrg not in front of me.   
We are by the pool. They are cuddling in one chair. Kissing, smiling to each other, stroking each other's hair.   
Reggie is besides me being sick as I am, hiding behind a book. He is smoking again.   
I've tried to treat him normally since I rejected him. And we basically get along as before. But sometimes he gets weird around me.   
I see Sirius seductively takes off his shirt. Remus looks at him with heart eyes, bitting his lips. And Sirius gets into the pool.   
I roll my eyes.  
"Oi! Lupin" I say "Watch your pants!"   
Remus shows me his middle finger but he is blushing.  
"Come swim with me Moony..." Sirius makes a pout.  
Remus shakes his head smiling.  
"They're so annoying" Reggie whispers  
"I know right?" I say smiling "So how you'd been Reggie?" we haven't talked in so long.   
"Fine" he says but I can tell he is lying.  
"What did I say about lying to me, Reg?"   
He sighs "I'm just worried about mother" he says  
"Arg, Reg...".  
"I know what you're going to say" he says "She is a bad mother, I shouldn't worry. But she is my mother, Potter. I care about her. So don't say anything and don't ask me, okay?"  
I've met Mrs. Black and she is everything but a mother. I saw her yelling at Sirius once. Pads haven't even mentioned his parents since he arrived. But I guess Reggie is not like Sirius.   
"Reg, someone that treats their children like that is not a good person" he doesn't answer. I better don't say anything else.  
I see Sirius sending Remus kisses from the pool.  
"Arrrggg, That's enough" says Reggie closing his book. "I'm going upstairs" and he leaves. 

Suddenly I hear my mom's voice. "It was so nice to see you again, sweetheart. James is in the back"   
My first thought is: Lily. I immediately fix my hair. But I see Emmeline coming in. I try not to be disappointed.  
"Em?" I say "What are you doing here?"   
"Hello Emmeline" Sirius shouts getting off the pool. I can see Em staring at his body. She blushes shaking her head.  
"I was looking for Peter" she says "I thought he would be here"  
"No he had this thing with his mom" I say "Is there something wrong?"  
"Actually there is" she says looking down "I need to speak with you three"  
"What is that you want to speak to us?" Sirius says coming towards us. He and Rem are holding hands. Em looks surprised.

Em tell us everything and when she finishes, we are speechless. Peter has a freaking eating disorder?  
"Fuck!" I say "That's why he didn't want to eat at Christmas"  
"Peter eats" Sirius says "I've seen him"  
"Little things" Em responds "But I haven't seen him eat a proper meal. Have you?"  
We all shake our heads. Now that I think about it, he is always making excuses. Fuck. Why haven't I seen this before?  
"Thank you for telling us Emmeline" Remus says.  
"Of course Peter is my friend" she says "I care about him" she blushes.   
"So what do we do?" I ask  
"I've been talking with this girl" Em continues "The one that you kiss at you birthday party Sirius"  
"Marlene?" Remus asks  
"Yeah. I think she had the same issue years before"  
"I didn't know that..." Remus whispers.  
"She said she could help"   
"Then, let her help" Sirius says "We have to do something for Peter. He is our friend"  
I nod in agreement. There's is nothing I wouldn't do for my friends. 

We agreed to talk with Marlene and Peter and try to find a solution. In the meantime, I'm currently sitting with Lils at a coffee place that I don't know. Leaky Cauldron I think is it's name. And I'm so fucking nervous and angry. Lily said we are going to meet the asshole of her friend. To solve things. Talk and shit. I'm here against my will. I'm here because I love her.  
Snivellus is bloody late. I decided to call him that.I move my leg nervously. Lils squeezes my hand. "Thank you for doing this"   
I look into her green eyes. I would do anything for her.   
I kiss her. "I'm gonna go to the loo"   
I go and wash my face to calm myself. I look to my reflection. My hair looks so fluffed. You can do this James. For her. For Lils. I sigh and walk back to the table. But Snivellus is already there. Talking with my girlfriend.   
"Please Lily" he is saying "I really need to borrow some money"   
"What do you need money for?" I sit next to Lily putting my arm around her.  
He looks surprised.   
"Potter. I didn't know you're gonna be here" he says with hate.   
"Well here I am" I smirk. He is pissed off.   
"Lily?" he asks "What is going on?"  
"Amm.." she says "I think I'm gonna get coffee first" she goes to order.   
"What do you need money for?" I ask him again  
"Is none of your business" he says "What are you doing here with Lily?"  
"Because we are together" he opens his eyes "You know, as a couple?" he clinches his fist.   
"Stay away from her" his voice sounds full of venom  
"Or what?"   
He is red of anger his fist is ready to hit me.  
"The coffees" says Lily leaving the tray on the table. Snivellus relaxes his expression. Still glancing me with hate. Lily sits next to me again.   
"Okay" she says "I think things didn't go to well on the party. But maybe you should talk about it"  
"Maybe he should apologize for what he said" I cross my arms.  
"Maybe he should apologize for hitting me in the face" he spills.  
"You talked shit about my friends!"  
"You're stupidly agressive!"  
"Okay" Lily interrupts "Maybe this wasn't the best idea"   
"Lily what are you doing with him?" Snivellus says  
"I see James told you" she looks at me.   
"He needed to know" I respond.  
"Lily why him?" he continues like I'm not here "After everything he's done to me, to you?"   
Lily doesn't respond. I'm getting angry.  
"I'm the one who is been there for you. I've been there when you're sad, happy, I know everything about you. I love you!" he has tears in his eyes. Lily too.   
"And you fucking knew that. C'mon I was pretty obvious" he laughs "You knew I loved you and you go out with him! Him? God you're such a..."  
Before he can continue I grab him from his shirt. "James" Lily cries  
"A what?" I yell "A what? Snivellus say it!"  
"Potter, you can control your anger, can't you?" I pull his shirt ready to punch him again.  
"Hey, hey, hey!" A bloke I recognize as Alice boyfriend comes towards us. He brakes us apart. "No fighting in this place, okay?"   
I look around and everyone is looking at us. Lily is crying. I feel like shit for making her cry. But it was his fault.   
"Leave Now" the bloke says.   
"Okay Lily, fine" Snivellus cries "Choose him. But never speak to me again"   
He leaves.  
"Sev!" Lily tries to catch him. And I stop her. Now I have tears in my eyes.  
"Lily no, not again" I say. Don't leave me for him.   
"I'm sorry James" she says kissing my cheek and she goes after him.


	20. Marlene

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Eating Disorders. Remember every pacient and treatment is different.

"You haven't flirted with other girls, right? I tell Dorcas on the phone. She laughs.  
My very sweet girlfriend had a volleyball tournament this weekend and she went to Manchester with her team. I'm currently at the book store that I work talking with her on the phone. Luckily my boss is not here.   
"Don't get jelaous on me McKinnon" she says "You know you're the apple of my eyes"   
I smile.   
"And tell your stupid coach to keep his hands off you"   
"Marly..."   
"I mean it!" I say  
Dorcas laughs "Fine"  
I see Remus entering the shop. I wave at him.  
"Is that Dorcas?" Remus whispers and I nod  
"I can't wait to see you babe" Dorcas continues "All the girls were flirting with this lad yesterday and I kept thinking about the hot girlfriend I have at home"   
I can see Remus making kissing noices. I show him my middle finger.  
"Aaww baby. I love you" I say.   
Remus imitates me "I love you" I hit his arm.   
"Just win those matches baby. Show them what you can do. And when you get back, I'll show you what I can do"   
Remus opens his mouth.  
"Marly!" Dorcas says "You're making me blush. And my team is around"  
I laugh rolling my eyes at Remus.   
"Remus is here" I say "He says hi"   
"Hi Dorki" he yells  
"Oh! Tell him I say hi!" Dorki says   
"She says hi" I tell Remus.  
"Babe I have to go" Dorki says "I have training"  
"Noo!" I protest "But I miss you"   
"I'll be back on Monday" she says "Love you"  
"Love you more" she hangs up.  
"Marlene!" Remus says smiling "Sex on the phone! And at your place of work!"  
"Bloody asshole!" I hit him. And he shouts in pain.  
"It's a miracle that I see you" I tell him "You being stuck to your new boyfriends lips all the time an'all"  
He blushes smiling "Yeah"   
"So have you had gay sex with him yet?" I ask  
"Marlene!" but he just smiles  
"Oh my God! You have, haven't you? You naughty boy"  
"Shut up!" he says   
"It changes your life, am I right?"   
He shakes his head laughing.  
"So what do you need wanker?" I ask him.   
He never looks for me only to ask me how I am. Asshole.  
"I need to ask you a favor" knew it.  
"Don't get angry, but Emmeline told us about you"  
"Who?"   
"Black hair, short, amber eyes..."  
I start thinking. I don't know anyone like that.   
"She was going to buy a book..."  
Oh. The bird with eating disorder?  
"You know her?" I ask. Remus nods  
"She goes to Hogwarts as well"  
"Oh yeah, she seemed like a rich girl"  
"I didn't know you had an eating disorder Marly" I don't understand why would this bird tell Remus about me. I sigh.  
"It was a long time ago. Before I met you" I say "I was a stupid girl with a low self-esteem"   
Remus smiles sympathetically.  
It was the worst time of my life. Me and my friend Katherine decided to stop eating to be beautiful. I had a crush on her so I agreed. I thought that if I was skinnier, she would fancy me. It became an obsession. Until the point that I went to the hospital. The look on my mom's face and her crying made me realized what I had been doing.  
"I promised myself not to care about what everyone else thinks. To love myself. I'm much better. So much better"   
Remus gives me a kiss on my cheek "I'm glad you're better Marly" I smile.  
"My friend is suffering the same" he says  
"Emmeline?"  
Remus shakes his head "Peter"  
"The blond short lad?" Remus nods   
"Could you please talk to him? Please?"   
I don't know why he wants me to talk to him. The bloke needs therapy.   
"For me?" Remus says "For them?" he points towards the window and waving at me I can see Sirius, James and that girl Emmeline. I smile. Peter has some really good friends. I nod. Remus hugs me "Thank you, I love you"

I wait at the Leaky Cauldron. Frank is with Alice. Teaching her how to do a proper cappuccino. The way they look at each other and laugh. They are in love. I smile. Frank deserves to be happy.   
Peter comes in and sits down on a table. He thinks he is meeting his friends. Is all part of the plan.   
I stand up and sit in front of him. I bring my pastry with me.  
"Hello"  
"Hi" he says puzzled "You're Remus friend, right?"   
"Marlene, yes" he nods awkwardly.   
"I'm Peter by the way" I smile.  
"Do you think we can talk?" I ask   
"Amm... I'm actually waiting for my friends..."  
"Peter your friends are not coming"  
"What?"   
I don't answer. Instead I take a long bite of my pastry.  
"Mm.. It is so good"  
He looks at me like I'm crazy.  
"You know" I continue "I used to count every single calorie of everything I ate"   
He goes pale   
"I sometimes still do that. But I don't care anymore what it does to my body"   
He doesn't say anything. I take another bite "Do you want some?"  
"No I..."  
"You already ate?" I interrupt "You're not hungry right now, you don't like this kind of pastry. I've been there. I used those excuses as well"  
"What is this all about?" he looks uncomfortable.  
"I'm here to help you. Just to chat"   
"Did Emmeline said something to you?" he sounds angry "How..."  
"She is worried about you. Your friends as well"  
"My friends know about this?"   
"Peter we just want to help you"   
"I'M FINE FOR GOD'S SAKE" he yells.   
A bunch of people look at him including Frank and Alice.   
"I used to say the same thing"  
"What is this people's obsession with what I eat? Ha? Why do you bloody care? Why does everyone fucking care? I don't ask people what they have eaten, what the fuck?"  
"Peter..."  
"No! Leave me alone!"   
I don't say anything else. He covers his eyes. "Just leave me alone" he whispers. And he starts sobbing. I go next to him and hug him.  
"It's okay" I say "You're not alone. This has a solution. We are going to help you" he continues sobbing on my shoulder. I don't really know this kid but I feel so bad for him. I promise myself I'm gonna help him.  
"If I got out of it, you can do it as well" I say "We just have to tell your parents, get you in therapy"  
He mumbles something like "Jus' mom"  
"Okay. We need to talk to your mom" I say "But Peter, promise me you're going to let your friends help you okay? Don't push them away" he nods and steadies himself and then he whispers "Thank you"


	21. Sirius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Violence and Phycological Abuse

"I don't think this is a good idea Reggie" I say as we step into the restaurant. I'm sweating.   
"It's okay Sirius" he patts my shoulder smiling.   
He dragged me here. To meet her. The witcked witch. That is my mother. She called Regulus saying she wanted to meet us. That it was something important. Reg said we should at least listen to her. Reg likes her. I know I'm supposed to like her as well. She is my mother. But I hate her. I hate both of my parents.  
I'm wearing my leather jacket, piercings on my ears that I recently had. And black sunglasses. I know she would hate this look. I want to piss her off.   
She is on a table in a corner. When she sees us she stands up smiling. What a bitch.   
"Oh, my baby" she says as she hugs my brother.   
"Mother" Regulus says awkwardly.   
"Sirius" mother says trying to hug me but I stop her.   
"I'm good thank you" I sit down very pissed. My mother and Reggie sit as well.   
"So how have you been?" she asks lighting up a cig.   
"Can you get to the point please?" I just want to leave.  
Mother sighs "I dumped your father" she says "I couldn't stand his bloody ass anymore. I'm living with your uncle and auntie right now"   
I don't bloody care. But my brother looks concerned.  
"So I miss you" she says "I want you to live with me"   
I start laughing.   
"Woow" I say applauding "That was touching. You're a really good actress. You should consider making a career of this"  
"Sirius" Reggie says  
My mother smiles. "You didn't miss your mother, Sirius?"   
"Not at all" I say smirking.  
"Well" she continues "You're turning 18 this year. You'll be off age. So you can do whatever you want" she smiles evily "Regulus," she speaks to my brother "I have two more years with you. What do you say honey? Coming with me?"   
"He will never live with you" I say. But I see my brother actually considering it.  
"You're good with me and James, right?"   
"I... I don't know"  
"Regulus, come live with mommy"   
"Reggie, don't" my brother can't leave me.   
"Regulus..."  
My brother looks between the two.  
"Reggie don't listen to her" he cannot choose her.  
"You chose your own path sweetheart" she says to me "Full of loneliness and misery. No one is going to love you properly. Not like your mother"  
"That's not true" I have tears in my eyes "I have my friends. I have Remus"   
She laughs "Oh Sirius. It's because they don't know you properly. Do you think they will stand your temper? Your tantrums? No one like I do"   
I don't say anything. I want to cry but I can't. Not in front of her. Not in front of Reggie.   
"Shut up" I say.  
"You can spend all you want with your friends" she says with disgust "With your boyfriend, but eventually, they're gonna leave you. And who is going to be here? Me, your mom!"  
"THAT'S ENOUGH" is Reggie who speaks this time. "I was trying to defend you, mother. To forgive you. But James was right" he wipes tears from his eyes "You're a bad mother" he sniffs. "I' rather be with my brother" I smile. Reggie is defening me "Let's go Sirius" we stand up and leave. 

Outside I scream "Aaaaaaw" and kick some trash cans. I'm really angry. I hate her. I hate father. I wish they weren't my parents.   
"Sirius calm down" Reggie says   
"I'm... I'm gonna go for a walk"   
"Sirius. It's late" I ignore him "Go to James', okay?" I hug my brother "See you later"  
I start walking "Sirius!" my brother yells. But I just keep walking. 

I go to Remus' house. My Moony. I play all romantic and I throw rocks to his window. When he sees me he smiles. He opens the window "Pads? What are you doing here?" he whispers. Is pretty late.   
"I'm getting up there" I say climbing up.   
When I get to his room he smiles at me   
"Hi"  
"Hi" I bloody kiss him. And he kisses me back. I start getting his shirt off.   
"Pads" he says smiling "My mom is downstairs"   
"Then we have to be very quiet" I say kissing him again.   
"Pads..."  
"Please I need you" I sound kind of desperate.  
He smiles and we kiss more. I lay down on his bed and he lays on top of me. He kisses my neck. A little moan comes from my mouth.   
"Shh" Remus says smiling. 

We shag and when we are done I lay on his chest. He has a few scars there. And I trace them.  
"Don't do that" Moony says with a sleepy voice "They are horrible. I'm so hideous"   
"Non mon amour, tu es belle" I say smiling.  
Remus laughs "You speak french?" I nod.   
"On our honeymoon" I say "I'm gonna take you to Paris. To the Place Dauphine. The most romantic place ever"   
I see Remus smiling "We're getting married?"   
"Yeah!" I sit up excited "We can get married in Paris. At the Top of the Eiffel tower. I'll wear a white suit. You'll wear a black one" Moony laughs kissing my neck. "We'll have a huge party after. Everyone is invited. And everyone can wear whatever they want. Kiss whatever they want" I sigh imagining it. "What do you think?" I look at my boyfriend and he just smiles stroking my cheek. He kisses me and we lay down kissing again. And cuddling with him I fall asleep.

"PLEASE STOP! FATHER PLEASE!"  
I hear Regulus screaming. I see my father hitting me with all his strength "I WON'T HAVE A FAGGOT FOR A SON". Then I see my mother. She looks devil-like "Nobody is going to love you, Sirius"   
I wake up is a gasp. I'm sweating and I'm crying. I look around and I'm still on Moony's room. He is laying next to me. Naked.   
I stand up to open the window. I need some bloody air.   
"Sirius?" Moony wakes up "Come back to bed"  
I can't breathe properly "They're coming for us, they're coming for me and Reggie"   
"Who?" Moony asks.  
The words of my mother run through my brain. 'Nobody is going to love you'   
"They left me" I say crying "Reggie is going to leave me. Then James, then Peter. You're going to leave me" I sob "Please don't leave me"   
"Hey, hey" I feel Remus arms. He forces me to look at him.   
"I'm never gonna leave you, okay?" I brake down crying. He hugs me. We are naked but it doesn't matter. I cry and cry into his shoulder. I hope Moony never leaves. I might die without him.


	22. Alice

I haven't seen Frank and I miss him. I miss my bloody boyfriend. Between exams, final projects and Uni applications, I didn't have time to even breath. I'm graduating from Hogwarts in two weeks.   
I got into Yale. The letter arrived this morning. I year ago I would've been thrilled. But I'm not.   
My first reaction is to tell Frank. So I'm going to see him. Dad wasn't happy about it. He wanted to make a party to celebrate. But I said no. I don't know what he told my boyfriend the day they met. All I know is that my father doesn't like the idea of me and Frank. 

I go to The Leaky Cauldron. And I see him through the window. He is sitting on a table with his siblings. The oldest is Mary she is thirteen years old. She doesn't like me much. I reckon that is because she is jelaous of her brother. The next one is Sammy. He is a 10 year old little devil. He is hyperactive. And the last one is Daisy. The sweetest six year old girl in the entire world.   
I smile at that scene. Frank is such a good brother. You have no idea how much he does for his siblings.   
I knock the window. When he sees me he gives one of those big smiles. I love them. He gestures for me to come in. And I do.  
"Alice!" little Daisy shouts   
"Hello Dai, missed me?"   
"Yeep"   
"Frank is teaching me to divide!" Sammy says.  
"Oh really?" I ask smiling.   
"And he is pretty stupid on it" Mary says rolling her eyes.   
"Mary!" Frank says  
"What? Is true?"  
"You are a rotten bogger" Sam responds and Daisy laughs.   
Frank looks at me rolling his eyes but smiling. I smile back. God! I missed him. I really want to kiss him.  
"Do you mind if I bother your brother for a bit?"   
"But you're were going to help me next!" Mary protests.   
"It will minute" I say. Or maybe hours.   
"Yeah Mary don't be a pain in the ass" Frank says making the kids laugh "I'll be right back" he stands up. He kisses his sister's head. And Mary rolls her eyes. She really hates me.   
Frank takes my hand and he drags me outside.

God! How I missed Frank's lips. His body against mine. We've been kissing for a while now. In a desserted street against the wall.   
"I missed you" I say between kisses.   
"Not like I did" he says.  
"No I think I did more" I say smiling  
"No, no" he carries me and we spin "I did more!" I scream laughing.   
He drops me down. And we stare at each other fondly.   
"I have to tell you something" I say   
"What?"   
I sight "I got into Yale"   
Frank smiles "Really? That's pretty wicked. Congratulations!" he hugs me. But I don't think like celebrating.   
"What is it?" he askes "It is good, right?"   
"Also in America" I answer "Far away from you"   
Frank closes his eyes sighting. "I know" he says "But this is good for you" he touches my cheek "And we can still send each other letters?" I kiss his hand.   
"It is not the same"   
He doesn't respond. Instead he kisses my forehead and he stays there.   
"If you tell me to stay, I'll stay"   
"I can do that Al" he says "You have to go"   
"But I love you" I say crying.  
"I love you too" he says "Arrrg bloody hell! I fucking love you. I want to tell you to stay. I really do. But that would be selfish"   
"But..."   
"I don't want you to have the same lame life as me"   
"I can study Uni here" I say "The only lame life I would have is without you"   
"Alice, go!" he says "You have to go"   
He sounds kind of angry  
"God! I would do anything to be on shoes" he continues "Go to Uni, study, leave this stupid coffee shop"   
I don't say anything  
"Besides your father would never leave me alone" he says "He would hunt me and blame me for ruining your future"   
"He would understand, Frank" I say "Dad loves me"   
He shakes his head "I reckon he would do anything to get me off the way"   
"What do you mean Frank?" I start to get angry. He doesn't respond "Who do you think my father is?"   
"No one" he says but he is clearly upset. "Go to Uni. And forget about me Al" he has tears in his eyes.  
"You don't mean that"   
"I do" he says "It is better that way. For your future. And for mine"   
He starts leaving "Frank?" I cry desperately "Frank!"  
He is gone. I grab my head breathing hardly. What just happened? Did he just brake up with me? I lean to the wall and a brake into tears. 

That's it. I finished Hogwarts. The last exam is done. I've been crying for Frank for the last week. I go out of the castle just to breath some air. And I see my father waving me. I walk towards him.  
"Daddy what are you doing here?" I ask.  
"I came to pick you up" he answers smiling "I arranged a meeting with a friend of mine. He lives at Connecticut and he is willing to give a tour this summer before Uni"  
"But I haven't decided if I'm going" I say   
"C'mon Alice. Don't be ridiculous. You have to go" he says "Let's go. Your mother is waiting in the car" Suddenly I see Frank standing a few meters away. He has flowers on his hands. He smiles at me.   
"Frank" I whisper  
"Alice" my father says "We need to go. We are late"  
"No" I keep staring at Frank  
"You can talk to him later"   
But I don't listen and I run towards my boyfriend. I climb on him kissing him passionetly.   
"I'm sorry Al" he says "Please stay with me"   
"Yes" I kiss all his face "I don't want to leave you. Never. I don't care about bloody Uni or anything else"  
We kiss again. And then we start laughing. I come down off him. I can see my father is in a rage looking at us but I don't bloody care. I hug my boyfriend.   
And then he whispers into my ear "Will you marry me, Alice?"


	23. Regulus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting this weekend. Been busy and distracted but I'm back!

"Thanks Mr. Black. That would be all"   
I'm tired of answering questions. Remembering events. The social worker is here. She is helping the Potter's with the whole guardian process. Meaning my legal tutors would be Mr. and Mrs. Potter. They don't do that with Sirius because he will be off age in a few months.   
"Are you sending my parents to jail?" I ask. The lady laughs. I didn't tell her all the truth. I sugared many things about my parents. I don't want them to get in trouble. And I don't want people to be sorry for me and my brother.   
"No" she says smiling "That's not my purpose. Mine is making Mr. and Mrs. Potter your legal guardians until you turn 18"

We get out of the room and The Potter's accompany the social worker outside.  
"How did it go?" Sirius asks.   
Horrible. I hated it. I feel stupid. And I can believe someone would want to be my guardian.   
"Fine" I lie   
"Nice" says James "Then we will be officially brothers"   
I've been trying to see James as a brother rather than something else. Now that it would be legally true I really need to forget about him. I sigh nodding.  
"Awww! My baby Reggie" Sirius kisses my head "I'm so proud of you!"   
"Gettoff!!" I protest.   
"C'mon" says James smiling "We need to get ready for the party" 

The end of classes comes with the Goodbye Hogwarts Party before summer. Organized by the Carrow Twins. Evey year they do the same. I don't feel like celebrating and I hate parties but James and Sirius drag me along.   
I try to act normal among drunk and hormonal teenagers.   
"Heeeyaa mate!" Barty comes towards me. He looks rather sad.   
"Are you okay Barty?" I ask   
He shakes his head "My dad found all the drug business"  
"What? How?"   
"Don't know" he answers looking down "He was pissed, mate. He said I'm not gonna continue at Hogwarts"   
"What?" I ask even more shocked.  
"I'm going to a bloody reformatory next week"   
"Shit Barty" I protest   
"I know"   
We stay in silence for a while.  
"It's fine Reg" he continues "I'm probably getting out there in a year or so. That shit is expensive and father wouldn't want to pay that" he sighs "Besides I heard there are some hot girls there. Willing to shag anything that moves" he smiles  
I smile back. He is an idiot. "I'm gonna miss you mate. Who I'm gonna hang out with?"  
"I'm pretty sure you'll find someone"   
I hug him. Barty is a bloody wanker sometimes. But he is not a bad person. And he has been my only friend for years.   
"I gotta go" he says with tears "I have to start packing"  
"Are you crying Barty?"   
"Shut up. Don't you ruin my reputation among the babes, alright?"   
"Sure, wanker" Now I have tears in my eyes. I hug him again and then he leaves. 

Later that night, I see Peter and Emmeline talking with each other in a corner.   
"Hey Peter!" I greet him "How's therapy going?"   
He smiles "Fine. I guess" he says "I do what can"   
"He is very brave" Emmeline says smiling to him. He blushes. "You are very cooperative Pete. I really admire you"   
"Well" he says "I would've have done it without you. I mean you're like my personal angel. You make sure I eat and I don't miss anything"   
"Well of course, Pete. You deserve it" she blushes.   
I think these two are flirting and I get uncomfortable. I sip my drink awkwardly.  
"Oi!" Emmeline says "I love this song!" And he drags Peter to dance. Him smiling like a fool. Thank God! 

I better go to sit down with James. Who is sitting alone by the pool. Sirius and Remus are dancing. I sit next to him. And I see him looking at Evans. They been kind of separated. James was really angry 'cause she sometimes defends her friend. They keep fighting and making up. Honestly I don't know what is up with them.   
"Is everything okay?" I ask him   
He sighs "I don't know honestly" he says "She's the most bloody complicated bird in the world, Reggie" he takes a sip "I think she is helping Snivellus, her friend, which she knows pisses me off. And then she says she loves me, but I don't bloody know" he sighs again. I don't know what to say actually. He just looks miserable and I hate seeing him like that, eventhough I wish he didn't fancy Evans.   
Speaking of the Devil, she walks towards us.   
"Hi Regulus" she says and I wave. "James can we talk?"   
"I'm actually busy, talking with Reg" he says angrily.  
"I...I should probably go" James stops me.  
"No. You stay here" Shit.   
Evans gets kind of angry "You know, Potter? I was actually going to apologise" she grunts "But you know what? Forget it"  
"Oh yeah?" James says "Your apologies always end up in screaming from both of us. So no thank you"   
"You're an arrogant toerag" she continues "With your stupid hair"  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yeah" she says "If you would've let me apologise, I would've have said that I stopped talking to Severus because he doesn't like you. And I do" Evans was talking fast "I would've said that I'm really sorry for treating you so badly. That I really like you. I mean like you, like you. That I want to be your proper girlfriend, and hold hands and all that stupid bullshit couples do" she sighs "That's what I would've said"  
James looks at her "But your too stupid to realize.." but he grabs her face and they kiss. 

I stand up and I leave. Give them some privacy. I feel really stupid. James likes Evans and that's not going to chance. As I walk by the party I see my brother kissing Remus and Peter is actually kissing Emmeline. And Barty is kissing some random bird I don't know. And I feel kind of lonely. I go outside to smoke a cig. I'm really fond of them. They kind of relax me. I love watching the smoke mixing with the clouds. I sigh.

Suddenly I hear screaming from inside and I go to see what it is. I see that kid Mulciber grabbing Peter by his shirt.   
"Leave my girl alone, you fucking wanker!" he sounds drunk.   
"Nick stop it. You're bloody drunk" Emmeline says.   
I go there to stop it. I push him "Leave him alone"   
"Who the fuck are you?" he asks  
"Oi! Leave my brother and my friend alone" Sirius steps in front of me. He is with Remus.   
"Yeah you better walk away" James also puts himself in front of us. He is with Evans.  
Mulciber looks furious. But he leaves.   
"Are you okay?" I ask Peter   
"Yeah!" he says.  
We all look at each other and we start laughing. And I feel like I have really good friends. It's going to be a good summer with them.


	24. Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So summer holidays are over and another year begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Homophobia

I go to pick up my boyfriend. I love to do that because I love how excited he is at work. Sirius got a job in a record store since he doesn't have parents to support him. And he doesn't want to be burden for the Potter's. He loves his job. His boss is a pretty rock n' roll bad ass 50 year old bird who adores Sirius. And he loves discovering new music and records to listen.

I step in and I fall in love all over again. Pads is wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt without sleeves. His hair falling perfectly 'till his shoulders. It has grown a lot this summer. 'Good all fashion lover boy' is playing and I see Pads singing along. I smile to myself. 

He realizes I'm here and he smiles widely. "Moony"   
He dances ridiculously coming towards me.   
"It's because I'm a good all fashion lover boy" he sings and he spins me around. And we start swinging around. I smile and kiss him.   
"You're two are two sweet" says Candace. Sirius' boss. She is okay with us being gay and I like her for that.   
"Thank you, Candy" Sirius responds "We know" he winks. Candace starts laughing.   
"We have to go" I say "We have a wedding"   
"Ooh! I hope is yours!" Candace says.  
"I wish" Sirius says which makes me blush.   
"Goodbye Candace" I take my boyfriend's hands and drag him out.

Frank and Alice decided to make a little ceremony to get married. Which makes me very happy. They deserve all the happiness in the world. I walk with Sirius down the street holding hands. I'm very happy and Pads is as well. He smiles kissing my cheek.   
"Fucking faggots" we hear a lad saying as he passes by. Sirius stops walking and turns around.   
"What did you say?" he asks very pissed off.  
"Go back to the closet puffs, you're better of there" the lad says   
Sirius turns red and he shakes of anger.   
"Pads" I try to calm him down.   
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Sirius says.  
The lad just laughs "Disgusting faggots"   
Sirius shakes even more "Sirius don't" I say. He lets go my hand and he walks towards him.  
"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!" and he punches him in the face making him fall to the floor.   
"Fucking puss" the lad cries grabbing his nose.  
Sirius wants to hit him even more but I run and hug him from behind.   
"Please Pads" I say "You're gonna get into trouble"   
Sirius is shaking. I don't think I can control him. He pushes me away but instead of hitting the lad, he walks away.  
"You broke my nose, fucking asshole!" the guy stands up and leaves.   
I go after Sirius. He stops walking and he is breathing hard.   
"Pads" I grab his face with my hands.   
"I want to kill him Remus" he says "I want to fucking kill him" his eyes look exorbitant.  
"You're scaring me" I say without thinking. But is the true. He is scaring me.   
Suddenly he comes back to his senses. He relaxes and his eyes are back to normal. He pushed me away and he runs away. "Sirius!" 

I haven't talked with Sirius all afternoon. I don't know what to say.   
"So Frank Longbottom do you accept Alice Fortescue as your future wife?"   
The ceremony continues and I see the bright happy faces of Alice and my mate. Frank's whole family is sitting up front. Alice's parents are no where to be seen. Frank said they didn't approve their wedding. Poor Alice. I feel bad for her.  
Sirius whispers in my ear. "Are you mad at me?" I shake my head but I don't look at him I look at Frank and Alice smiling at each other.  
"I'm sorry" Sirius continues "I was really pissed. It just makes me really angry having to hide. Just because some people think is disgusting" I nod "I wish I could just hold your hand whenever I want without people looking at us funny or saying things. I wish I could just kiss you in front of people. I wish we could get legally married, like Frank and Alice" I do too. Seriously. But I simply nod. I have tears in my eyes.   
"It's not fair. It's a bloke and a girl getting married and is sweet but is two blokes or two birds and is disgusting" I hold Sirius hand.   
"I get it" I smile and I kiss his cheek "I love you" I say because I can't say everything is going to be okay, because I don't know. 

The after party is at the Leaky Cauldron. Is very pretty decorated. And the party is small as well. Very few people invited. After congratulating Frank and Alice, I chat with Pads and Prongs. Wormy is dancing happily with his girlfriend Emmeline. He looks so much healthier as well. Therapy is going well I reckon. Marly and Dorki are dancing together as well. Both of them looking gorgeous.   
James looks nervous and I smile   
"You know she is coming back today, right?" I say "She is coming to the party"   
Lily went to Yorkshire to visit some relatives with her sister. She is coming back since we start classes next week.  
"I know Rem" he says rubbing his hair "We've been exchanging letters mostly every day"  
"Oh! That's so sweet" Sirius says smirking.  
"So why are you so nervous?" I ask   
"I don't know" he says rubbing his hair again "What if she stopped loving me. Or met a lad there. A muscular one with an accent" me and Pads laugh.  
"Don't worry Prongsie" Sirius rubs James' hair "She is surprisingly too in love with you to do that" 

Suddenly we see Regulus coming in, with a bloke I've never seen before. He has dark skin, short hair and he is smiling.   
"Hey" Regulus says approaching us "Sorry I'm late. I got stuck at work and I needed a lift" Reg points to the bloke.   
"Yeep" the lad says "I can assure that's what happened. He is not lying to you" we laugh and Reg rolls his eyes.  
Regulus got a job as well. I reckon in a tea shop or something. The Potter's are legally his guardians now. But he doesn't want to ask them for money.  
"Who is this?" Sirius asks smirking.  
"I'm Charlie" he says giving Sirius his hand. He shakes all our hands smiling. "I work with Regulus at the tea shop"   
"Cool" I say  
"You can leave now" Regulus says annoyed.  
"Don't be rude with your friend Reggie" Sirius says  
"He is not my friend"   
"Oh don't worry" Charlie says still smiling "He is always grumpy at work. All the old ladies know him as ghost child" we all laugh. And Regulus blushes.  
"Because he is so pale as well" Charlie says laughing  
"I'm not always grumpy" Reg protests.   
"So I'm assuming you are Regulus' brother" he points at Sirius "You look too much alike"  
"The very same" Sirius responds   
"I'm James"  
"I'm Remus" I smile to him  
"Wicked!"   
"Okay, Charles" Regulus says "Thank you for the ride"   
"Oi! Charlie" I say "I think you should stay" I can tell Charlie likes Reg. "I reckon Frank and Alice wouldn't mind"   
"Oh no I don't want to bother" he says "Besides I'm not dressed properly"   
"Oh nobody cares" Sirius says. Regulus shakes his head. 'No'  
"You're welcome to stay Charlie" says James smirking.   
"Alright" says Charlie really excited "I was gonna go home, watch cartoons. But I think this plan is better"  
Regulus sighs "I'm gonna congratulate Frank and Alice" he says "I hate you" he whispers to us and he leaves.  
"Oi! Regulus" Charlie says "Wait.I don't know anyone"   
And he leaves. We look at each other smirking. What was that? And then I see Lily hugging Alice. She looks beautiful is a blue dress.   
"Oi Prongs" I say pointing towards her. James looks at her and I can tell he is amazed by her beauty. They look at each other closing the path between them.   
"Hey Potter" Lily says  
"Hey Evans" James says rubbing his hair. I can tell he is blushing. "Did you miss me?" Lily smiles and she hugs him. And then they kiss. I smile. I look at my boyfriend smiling as well. And I take his hand dragging him to the dance floor. He puts his arms around me.  
"You can hold my hand and kiss me in public" I say "Let them talk and hate. We won't care, you know why?" I look into his eyes "Because our love is beautiful" he smiles and I kiss him. I kiss my bloody boyfriend in front of everyone.


	25. Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Eating Disorders, Depression and Low self-esteem.

Weighing myself is the worst part. I'm getting a lot better. I eat what I can. But I hate seeing how much I weight. As I step on the weight scale, I shut my eyes closed. The nurse writes stuff down and smiles.   
"Thanks Peter" she says "You're doing well"   
"Prudence'" I say "Would you tell me if I'm getting fat?"   
She laughs "You're perfectly fit. I swear" 

I go out of my room to see my mom. Cigarette in hand.   
"You can't smoke here" I say  
"What are you talking about?" she says "There's no sign"   
"It's a hospital mom"   
She turns the cig off and tosses it in a bin.  
She smiles putting an arm around me "So, how are you doing?" she says.  
"Good. I reckon"   
Mom hates that I'm going to therapy. She says I'm not that sick, that I don't have a cancer or so. When the doctors told her, I wasn't eating properly, she said this: "Don't bloody look at me! I made the kid excercise. That's healthy. I didn't tell him to stop eating for God's sake" she is not much of a support. Em is. My friends are. Not her. 

We get to Pierre's car where he is inside asleep and snoring. We get in and he wakes up.   
He looks at me and he shows me an icecream in his hand "Bough this, wan' some?"   
"For God's sake, Pierre" my mother says "The kid is in bloody therapy" she lights a cigarette again.  
"I tho' he ate morg" Pierre says   
"Healthy things, not bloody junk"   
I roll my eyes.  
"Can you drop me off at Em's please?" 

I go to see my girlfriend. I haven't been a boyfriend before but I try to make her happy. That means asking how she is doing, buying her stuff, inviting her on dates. Be sensitive and romantic and at the same time be agressive and protective. I read all this in one of my mom's magazines. I don't want to spoil this. I really, really like her.   
I bought her flowers. Mom said I shouldn't go to her house empty handed. I knock the door and one of the maids opens. She says Em is at the back. The Vance's also have a big house. Both Emmeline's parents work at the fashion industry or some shit. They have their own personal brand and all.  
I get to the back to see not only Emmeline but her friends. The Carrow Twins and Coraline. I bloody hate them. And I reckon they don't like me as well.   
"Peter!" says Em as she sees me. I smile and she runs to give me a kiss. "How was therapy?"   
I can tell that her friends are secretly laughing at me. I reckon that by this point all Hogwarts knows about my problem.   
"Fine! I'm doing okay, Prudence reckons" Em smiles grabbing my hand. "Come and sit down"   
I sit down next to her. "Hello everyone, I say"   
"Pettigrew!" Amycus says siping his drink "We were ranting boys, do you mind?"   
"But you're a boy" I say. Everyone laughs.  
"I'm one of the girls now" he says really annoyed. I don't say anything else.  
"Arrg! I think my my skin is getting darker" Alecto says checking up her arm. I don't know how her skin can get any darker. She is half indian.  
"So tell us about your boyfriend, Cory" Em says. I can't believe she is a gossiper.  
"Well" Coraline says "He is a med student at Oxford. He comes from one of the finest Oxford families. He is 23"   
"Uuuh older boy, dangerous" Amycus says smirking.  
"Wicked" Alecto says without an expression popping up her gum.  
"Honestly you should all get Uni boyfriends as well" Cora says "Oh ups, except you Em, I guess you are taken" They all laugh.   
"I'm pretty good with Pete" Em says blushing and I smile.  
"Anyways" Amycus continues "I have my eyes set on a certain Black"   
"He is dating Lupin, Amycus" Alecto says   
"Not Sirius, darling" he says "That hot piece of pie scaped away from me. I'm talking about Regulus"   
"What?" Em asks "He is way younger than you"   
"And he looks very much like his brother. Besides he is growing up"   
I'm pretty sure Regulus would never date someone like Amycus. And besides I don't know if he is gay.  
"And he is really weird" Cora adds "I heard the Blacks are now leaving with James. Is that true, Pettigrew?"   
I'm surprised they address me. They are all looking at new.  
"Why?" Alecto asks.   
"Am..." I don't want to tell them how abusive their parents are. They would tell the whole school.  
"Independence?" I say  
"I reckon you are lying to us" Cora says  
"Leave him" Em says "Maybe he doesn't know?"   
I'm grateful to Em. But I'm feeling too uncomfortable. This people remind me of the kids that used to bully me when I was younger. I start to get anxious.   
"Anyway Amy" says Cora "You need to forget about the Black brothers. I heard they are kind of crazy. And nobody wants a sick person around you" I'm sick. Em doesn't say anything. Does she want me around her?  
"And I heard James has anger issues as well" Cora continues "That's why I dumped him" She was never with him. "I heard he punched a lad in the face, twice"   
I can't take it anymore "SHUT UP!" They look at me.  
"That was very rude Cora" Em says "Those are Peter friends"   
I stand very angry "You know what? You disgust me" I say "All you do is talk shit about people. Maybe you should look at yourselves and your stupid lives first"   
"Someone is in a bad mood" Amycus says  
"You see sweetheart?" Cora says to Emmeline "I told you, you could do better"   
"Oh shut up" Em says but she looks embarrassed, embarrassed of me.  
"He probably gets the bad temper from the meds and all" Amycus continues like I'm not here "For his bullimia and shit" I take his drink throw it to his face. He gasps. Freaking asshole.   
"I'm leaving" I say  
"Peter" Emmeline grabs my arm   
"I can believe it" I say "You're just like them"   
She looks at me with tears in her eyes "No, I..."  
"I don't think this relationship is going to work" I carry on "I'm sick and you're clearly embarrassed of me"   
"Peter!" I ignore her and storm out of her house. 

I get home crying. I feel so stupid to cry. I don't do it for Emmeline. Well partially I do. But mainly for how they made me feel. So vulnerable. Like my old fat self. I get in and I catch a glimpse of my mom and Pierre fooling around on the couch. Laughing. They don't notice me and I go to my room.

Tears roll down my cheeks. Nobody cares about me. My dad bloody left me before I was born. I don't know who he is. My mom cares more about herself. My friends pretend they care but they don't, they are too busy with their relationships and their things. When I started therapy they used to ask how I was. But they stopped. They don't care anymore. And Em. She just pretended to like me out of pity. Nobody likes me.   
"Aaaaaarggg!" I start hitting things, throwing stuff, kicking everything. I sob on my bed.   
Then I see a pink paper on my desk. Marlene gave me her number in case I needed something. I've been avoiding to call her because I don't know her that well. And I thought I had Em and the boys. But I need someone now. I wipe my tears and grab the phone. I diall her number and wait.  
"The McKinnon's residence" someone says on the phone.  
"Marlene?"   
"Who is it?"   
"Peter"  
"Oh! Hi. Is everything okay?"   
"Can I come and see you?"


	26. Dorcas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Abuse ⚠️

"Who was it?" I ask. Marly hangs up very puzzled "Peter" she says  
"Remus' friend?" she nods.  
We were watching a french movie together at Marly's couch and by watching I mean snogging.   
Marly told me about this kid having the same problem as her.   
I remember I cried when she told me. We were dating for a month and she opened up with me. I thought she was the bravest person I've ever met. I still do.  
"Is everything okay?" I ask   
She raises her shoulders.   
"I don't know" she says "He sounded upset"   
"Can he just talk with one of his mates? His mom?"  
"Dorki, he is sick" she says "Perhaps he needs to ask me something?" I try not to be jelaous. That someone needs her.   
Marly laughs. "I can't believe you're jelaous of Peter!"   
"I'm not!"   
"Oh my God, babe" she says smiling and she kisses me.  
"So when are gonna see him?" I ask  
Marly bites her lip "He is coming here right now..."  
"Right now?" I say "Why now?"   
"I don't know, okay?" she answers "He said it was kind of urgent"   
I roll my eyes "Our wonderful date is ruined" I cross my arms.  
"Don't be such a cry baby!"   
"Marlene?" Marly's mom comes into the room and I'm surprised. 

Mrs. McKinnon raised her daughter alone. She got pregnant very young and was kicked out of home. She also has cancer. They found out a year ago. So I bearly see her. Marlene does practically everything and maintains herself. She also takes care of her mom. She is tough, sassy and powerful with everyone. But she is an angel around her mom.

"Mom what are you doing out of bed?" Marly asks.  
When Mrs.Mckinnon comes into the light I see that she is very pale. She is wearing a beany on top of her bold head and she is wearing a sweatshirt and trousers.   
"Dorcas" she says when she sees me "I didn't know you were here, sweetheart"   
"Hello Mrs. McKinnon" I was going to say 'how are you' but it would sound very rude. I get kind of uncomfortable.  
"Mom" Marly says "What do you need?"   
"I was gonna get my meds" she says "Don't mind me"   
She gets to the kitchen slowly and takes something from a drawer. I try not to feel bad or cry.   
"C'mom mom" Marly says "I'll take you upstairs"   
"Nice to see you Dorcas"   
I swallow my tears is pretty hard seeing her so damaged. Instead I give her my best smile  
"You too Mrs. McKinnon"   
"Babe" Marly says "I'll be back. Could you please be with Peter untill I get back?"  
I don't want to be alone with that bloke but I nod. Marly needs to be with her mom right now.

When she leaves I start crying. I'm just a softy, I'm sorry. But I can't stand to see someone I love, suffering. Five minutes after, I hear a knock on the door. Peter. I go and open it.   
"Hi Peter" I say kind of annoyed. He looks surprised.  
"Hi?" he says "Is Marlene.."  
"Yeah come in" I say "You have to wait for her though. She is upstairs with her mom" 

We sit in silence. He looks uncomfortable and I just simply look at him trying to figure him out. What does he want?   
"So..." he brakes the silence "How are you?"   
"Good" I simply say  
"What are you doing here, Peter? I ask "What do you want?"   
"Am..." he says nervously "Just to talk"   
"With my girlfriend?"   
"With someone" he says. He sighs "Sorry" he stands up "I shouldn't have come"   
"Oh, bloody hell" I say "Sit down. You can talk to me"   
He sits back down.   
"It's fine" he says "It doesn't matter"  
"It matters" I say "Otherwise, you wouldn't have called Marly"   
He looks down "I just feel really lonely"   
Shit. What do I say? "Am... But you have your friends right?"   
"I don't know that anymore"   
Marly where are you?  
"Perhaps....am... If you tell them how you feel..."  
"Maybe" he says but he doesn't sound convinced.  
"Anyhow" I say "We can be your friends. Fuck it. Let's be friends".  
He smiles "Really?"  
"Sure!" I say  
"Hello Peter" says Marlene coming downstairs.  
"Hey" he says   
Thank God. I better go and leave them alone.  
"I should go" I say  
"You don't have to, babe" Marly says. She knows I get jelaous. But I feel comfortable with Peter. I smile.  
"It's okay" I say "I'm tired anyway" I kiss my girlfriend goodbye.  
"Bye Peter" I say  
"Bye" he says smiling

"C'mon Dorcas. Concentrate"  
The next day I practice volley with Gunter. My coach.  
We've been practicing a lot this summer. I'm starting classes tomorrow and I won't be able to. I really love volley. It relaxes me. Makes me feel happy. I wish I could be professional one day. When we are done with practice, I'm out of breath. I sit down on the bench. Gunter sits next to me.  
"You're doing amazing Dorcas" he says  
I drink a bunch of water. "You reckon?"   
He nods. "I'm gonna tell you a secret" he says "They are recruiting from Unis. Oxford and such. If you practice enough, I can help you to get a scholarship. Would you like that?"  
"Really?" I ask  
He smiles "Yes. You really have the potential Dorcas"   
"Oh Gunter! Thank you!"" I hug him.  
"Okay" he says "But you have to push yourself really hard. And we will practice everyday after school"  
"Yeah, yeah. Of course" I'm very happy. I would love to get a good sports scholarship.  
Gunter smiles at me.  
"Do you think I'm good enough?" I ask  
"Of course you are. I trained you myself" he laughs and I roll my eyes smiling.   
"Yes Gunter, I owe you a lot" I say  
"You are amazing Dorcas. You deserve everything" he says and I smile at him. We've been pretty close lately because we have spend a lot time together. Marly complains a lot because she says Gunter has a crush on me. He doesn't. He is like my older brother. 

He strokes my leg simpatheticly. And then he touches my cheek. Well this is getting weird.   
And then he kisses me. Shit! I try to push him away. But he keeps kissing and touching me everywhere.   
"BOGGER OFF!" I use all my strength to push him. I push him so hard he falls of the bench.  
I'm gay. I don't like blokes like that. I've never told him that out of fear of being kicked out of the team. I feel so grossed out and stupid. I really trusted him.  
"Dorcas..."  
"Fuck you!" I cry and I run out of there as fast as I can.

I run upstairs without seeing my family and I'm crying. Maybe Marly was right, Gunter only helped me to get into my panties. Maybe I'm not good enough for a scholarship. Maybe I'm not good enough to be on the team. And Marly. Oh Marly. How am I supposed to tell her all this?  
I get into the shower to wash all away and I start sobbing. Shit.


	27. Charlie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing my OC Charlie. I hope you like him as much as I do. 😁

I think I have a crush on Regulus. I haven't had a crush on anyone except for celebrities and such. But I really like spending time with him. I still remember the first time he came into Mamma Bea's shop. Mamma Bea said he was too grumpy to hire him. I convinced her otherwise.   
"Give him a chance Mamma Bea" I said "I'm pretty sure he would do brilliant" And she did. Just for me.  
You see, I'm adopted. I grew up in an orphanage. I reckon my parents didn't like me. So they named me Charlie at the orphanage. And when I was ten Beatrice Puddifoot adopted me. A lonely white woman that wanted a child more than anything in this world. I love her like my mom. She owns the shop and I help her with everything. And then she hired Regulus. 

I watch him as he cleans the tables. Pretty grumpy as always. He is too adorable. Okay, Charlie. Act normal.   
"I can see you like that kid" Mamma Bea says smirking.   
"Yeaah I do" I say smiling "But he doesn't like me very much"   
Mamma Bea laughs "It's not against you, Charlie" she says "I reckon that kid has been through so much"   
I smile "I hope so Mamma Bea, I hope so"   
"Oi! Regulus?" Mamma Bea says   
Regulus looks at her "Yes ma'am?" he is so adorable.  
"Can you go with Chaile to pick up some teacups I bough?" Mamma Bea says. Oh God!  
"Am..." he says "I.. I'm kind of busy cleaning"   
"Great" Mamma Bea I interrups "Take the car, both of you. Is too dangerous to walk" She gives me the keys. Regulus looks pale "I'll take care of the shop"   
"Yes Mamma Bea" I say smiling.   
I look at Regulus and I give him a thumps up smiling. He rolls his eyes.

I'm at the car with Regulus. I'm very happy to be with him. He looks pissed.   
I whisle The Jetsons Theme song while I drive.   
"Can you be silent please?" Regulus says   
"You don't like The Jetsons?" I ask surprised.  
"The what?" he asks. I guess he'd never seen the Jetsons.   
"Never mind" I say smiling "You know? The Jetsons are pretty cool. I used to watch the show with Mamma Bea" I laugh "There was an episode in which..."  
"You talk too much" Regulus interrups.  
"You're annoying Charles" he says. Sometimes he talks like an aristocrat. I smile.  
"I reckon you don't like me, much?" I say. He doesn't answer. I sigh.  
"Don't worry Regulus" I say smiling "You will. I reckon we will be good friends"   
He looks puzzled. I turn up the radio. 'Blue Velvet' by Bobby Vinton plays. I think it is destiny. This song is for us. I start swinging to the music and smiling.   
Regulus looks at me.   
"What is wrong with you?" I know he wants to smile.  
"I think this could be our song" I say "What do you think?" He doesn't answer but I can't see he is blushing.   
"Have you ever been in love?" I ask.   
"No" I can't tell he is lying   
"I haven't. I wonder how is like, do you? All the butterflies inside you? And all the stuff? Mamma Bea has. She told me once that she met this bloke, he was engaged to some bird and their love couldn't be. So sad. Such a tragic love story"   
"God!" Regulus protests   
"Am I talking to much?" I say "Sorry I tend to do that. But what else are we going to do while we drive?"   
"Anything else?" he says "I'm not a talker. I prefer silence"   
I smile "Lovely. Then I'll do all the talking and you would listen. Perfect" is like we are meant to be.  
"Arrrg" Regulus covers his face with his sweater. How adorable is he? 

We pick the teacups without a problem. I keep telling Regulus everything and he just listens annoyed.   
"Mamma Bea is thinking of launching a new tea flavor" I continue. "Do you think people would like it?"   
"What flavor is it?"  
"Marihuana"   
He looks at me surprised. And I brust into laughter.   
"Oh ha, ha your face! I was joking Regulus"   
"Bloody hell" he says rolling his eyes. 

I notice Regulus left his jacket at the tea shop and I use that excuse to see him again. I go to his place. And my jaw drops. He is rich. I knock the door. And a bloke with messy hair and glasses answers.   
"Hi!" I say smiling "James right?"   
"Yeah... Am..."  
"Charlie" I shake his hand "I work with Regulus at the tea shop"  
"Oh, yeah" he says smiling  
"I came here to give this to him" I show him the jacket   
"He is taking a shower I think. Do want to wait for him?"   
"Sure!" We step in.   
He looks at me smirking "Is there something between you or what?"   
"What?" I blush "No. I wish though. I really like him"  
He smiles "So you like blokes?"   
"I like people" I say. I don't really care what they are.  
"Hey, I'm like a big brother for Regulus. So I'll have to hurt you if you hurt him, okay?"   
I nod smiling "I would never do that"   
"Okay" he says "I have to go. I have a date with my girlfriend. But you can stay here if you want"   
"Alright" I shake his hand again, excited.   
He smiles and leaves. 

I sit down waiting for Regulus. And suddenly I hear some voices from another room.  
"Oh Flea" a woman was saying "We have to tell James. And not only him. We have two other children as well".  
"Euphi I rather they don't know" a man answered "I would like to spend as much time with them. Happy. Not them feeling pity for me"  
"Don't you think they would like to know?" the woman says. She sounded like she was about to cry "You're bloody dying for God's sake"   
The woman cries  
"Oh Euphi" the man says "Don't cry for me. Give me your big bright smile at least the time I have left"  
Oh shit. The bloke is dying. Is he Regulus' father? I feel like an intruder. So I stand up and leave quietly.


	28. Lily

I've been snogging James for a while now. Honestly his lips are addictive. We are in an empty classroom at Hogwarts. I take a break to speak.  
"James, we have class"   
"Mmm" he protests and he keeps kissing me.  
"Can we skipt it?" he asks smirking   
"No. I've never done that" I say embarrassed   
He shakes his head smiling "Such a nerd"  
I hit his arm. "Wanker" We kiss more.   
We touch foreheads breathing hard "Seriously James we have to go"   
"I can't" he says   
"Yes, you can be responsible for once" I say smiling  
"No" he says "I literally can't" he looks down and I follow his gaze. Oh. I can see a bult on his pants.  
I start laughing. And he blushes.   
"Oh James" I laugh "We have bloody class in ten minutes"   
"Just say something else to distract me"   
"Okay" I think what to say "Severus send me a letter the other day"  
He looks angry "That worked"   
"I didn't respond though" I say "But I think he is in trouble"  
"Bloody hell" he says   
"I feel bad for him" I say rubbing his hair to lower the impact. He is not gonna like it.   
"Lily..."   
"I know what you're gonna say. I'm angry at him too. He is a bloody wanker" I sigh "But I feel bad for him"  
James doesn't say anything.  
"His father is an asshole" I continue carefully "And he has a lot of debts"   
"Lily. I'm sorry but I don't want to hear it"  
"But.."   
"Is not your obligation to help him. I'm sorry for him, but you don't have to"   
"You helped Sirius..."  
"Is not the same thing"   
"It is" I say "Sirius is your best friend. Severus is mine"  
"Sirius is not a bloody wanker"  
"James..."  
He steps away from me. "We have class, don't we?"   
I nod rather sad. He kisses my cheek and holds my hand. And like that, we go to class.

Later that day, professor Umbridge paired me up with Peter for an English essay. So I sit with him.  
"Hey" I say smiling  
"Hey"   
"Should we read the book first and then share ideas?" I ask  
"Sure" I can tell that he looks rather sad.   
"Are you okay Pete?" James told me, he was doing well on therapy. But I've seen him rather sad these days. Poor Peter. I really like him.  
"Yeah, fine" he says "You?"  
"Good" I smile  
Emmeline comes towards us.   
"Lily" she says quite embarrassed "Can we change partners?"   
"Am..." I see that she is paired up with Reginald Cattermole   
"We are fine" says Peter angrily   
Emmeline looks down sadly and she leaves.  
"Is everything okay, Pete?" I ask. I know they broke up but I don't know why.   
"Yeah, everything is fantastic" he lies.  
I don't say anything else. We just work on the essay.

I go back home on my bike. And I see Severus sitting on my house extrance. Shit. What is he doing here? When he sees me, he stands up awkwardly. I can see that he has bags under his eyes. He looks pale and he has a bruise on his lip.   
"Lily" he says   
"What are you doing here Sev?"   
"Maybe we should talk"   
I sigh.  
"I can't right now" I say trying to get to the door. But he stops me. I'm angry with him. Not only for what he called James' friends. Who are my friends as well. I really like Remus. Besides I don't know how to talk to Sev anymore. It feels awkward since he confessed his love for me.   
"Lily, I'm sorry" he is about to cry "You are everything I have. I just got angry that you chose him"   
"I didn't choose him" I say "It just sort of happened"   
"Can we just be friends, like always?" It brakes my heart. I do want to be his friend.   
"Of course, but you have to understand that I'm with James. And I have friends at Hogwarts. You have to accept them"   
He shakes his head "I don't understand how you can be friends with them"  
"You don't know them" I protest  
"And you do?" he asks "Are you sure they are good people? Do you know them better than you know me?"   
I don't. But I'm sure they are good, right?  
"You only look for me when you are in trouble. Or you need money" I change the subject.  
"Bloody hell, Lily" he says "That's not true"   
I don't say anything. I don't know what else to say. I hug myself. I'm starting to get chilly.  
"You were my friend first" he continues "And you are on their side"  
"I'm not on anyone's side"   
"Potter" he shakes his head angrily "He is the kind of bloke that would get tired of you. He would get rid of you in no time"  
"That's not true!" I protest  
"Is it? How do you know?" he says "Lily, I can make you happier"   
I start crying. I can't believe Sev is capable of saying those words. But it might be true. I'm not that pretty. There are prettier girls. I don't know why James wants me.   
"I love him" I simply say. And it's true.   
"Fuck, Lily" he grabs his head in frustration.   
I don't say anything. I just keep crying.   
"I don't think I can be your friend and watch you be with someone like that" he says "It would kill me"  
"What do you mean?" I manage to say  
He looks into my eyes.   
"It means that you have to choose, Lily" he says "Is eather him or me"   
I don't speak.  
"And I hope you remember everything I had done for you" he kisses my forehead. And then he leaves. 

I sit outside crying until I see Tuney arrive. She is with Vernon and Dudley. Her and Vernon see each other mostly every day. I think they are together again.   
I wipe my tears.  
"Leeeeelyyyy" Dudley runs to me and he hugs me.   
"Lily?" my sister says "What are you doing outside?"   
I start crying again. Tuney sits next to me and she hugs me. Dudley hugs me as well. Vernon looks at us simpatheticly.  
"Ther' ther' Leeeeelyyyy" Dudley patts my back.   
It is embarrassing but can't stop crying.   
All I can think about is that I love James. And I love Sev. In a different ways of course. But I love them both.


	29. Frank

My wife is sleeping. Oh shit! My bloody wife. I think I'm living a dream. And I'm scared of waking up. I can believe Alice accepted to marry me. Specially since her parents didn't accept me. I saw how Roger screamed in rage. And he said that Alice is not his daughter anymore. Fuck. I can't believe she left everything for me. Uni, her family. I don't deserve her honestly.  
We've been living on a flat I rented with my savings. For now. I promised myself to find a decent job. And buy her a house. The house she deserves. 

She moves in her sleep. Naked and beautiful. I smile.   
Al opens her eyes slowly.   
"Good morning Mrs. Longbottom" I love calling her that. She has my name now. She is mine.   
She smiles "Mr. Longbottom" I love that. How we belong to each other now. I kiss her slowly.  
"Mmm. What time is it?" she asks in a sleepy voice.  
"Mmm. 9:30" I say   
"Shit. I have to go to work"   
Alice got a job on a restaurant. As a waitress. Her father left her without nothing. So she said she was going to work to apply to Uni next semester. I hate that. I hate that it is because of me. She had a future before. But she chose me.  
"Don't" I say hugging her "Please stay with me"   
"I'd love to" she says smiling "But I can't"   
I smile looking at my wife.  
"What did I do to deserve you?" she kisses me  
"I'm the lucky one" she says. No she isn't.   
I kiss her more putting myself in top of her.   
"Frank" she laughs "I'm gonna be late"   
"You can be ten minutes late" I say smirking  
"Ten minutes only?" she asks "What did I get myself into?"   
I laugh "Too late. You're my wife now" she laughs.  
I cover ourselves with the covers and I kiss my wife everywhere.

I keep working at the Leaky Cauldron. My parents had done everything to support my wedding with Alice, eventhough they don't have much. I love them. Is Halloween today, so The Leaky Cauldron is slightly decorated.   
I was preparing some coffees when I see him come in. Expensive black suit, black glasses. Roger. He looks around with disgust. I go pale. He approaches me.   
"Good morning Frank" he says   
"Mr. Forstescue" I say with hate "Would go like some coffee? What can I offer you? The pumpkin pie is pretty good"  
"Do you think we can talk?" he says ignoring me.  
"I'm currently working, sir. I can't"   
"It would only take a minute" he says "I'm pretty sure your clients would survive without you" 

I sit down with him. I wait for him to talk. He takes out a cigarette and lights it.   
"I'm worried about Alice" he says "How is she?"  
What a bloody wanker. I try really hard not to punch him. Right here and now.  
"Now you care about her?" I say "After you missed her wedding?"   
He smiles "So where are you living? A poor, nasty place, I reckon?"  
"We are perfectly fine"   
"Is she working now?" he continues "Poor Alice, she haven't moved a finger in her live. Now she has to work?"   
I don't say anything.  
"Tell me Frank, don't you feel bad about it?" he says "That she gave up so much for you?"   
I know. I've thinking about it non stop since we got married. And I feel so bloody guilty.  
"Just think about it" he continues "She would be in America right now. Enjoying with her new friends. What a pity"  
I have a knot on my throat.   
"Is that all, sir?" I say "I can assure you Alice is fine. Perhaps you should call her. I can give our number"   
"Oh, I'm sure. But she could be better don't you agree?"   
Shit. He is right. "I have to go back to work sir" I say.  
"Of course" he says standing up "I won't take more of your time. I'm sure your job is valuable"  
And without anymore words, he leaves. I'm shaking of anger. Not at him. At myself for doing this to Alice.

There's a Halloween party at the Potter's. And Alice and I are invited. I've been in a terrible mood since I spoke with Roger. I didn't tell Alice about it. I don't want to worry her. I don't want her to realize the terrible mistake she has done, marrying me.   
I dressed up as Batman for the party. And Alice is dressed as Batgirl. Power couple. Not that much.   
As we step into the party Alice grabs my hand "Are you okay?" I nod. But I'm not okay.   
"I'm grabbing a drink" I say "Want anything?" she shakes her head.  
I go to grab a drink. I want to get bloody drunk.   
"Oi! Batman" I see Sirius and Remus coming towards me. "How's life married to Batgirl?" Sirius asks   
"A dream" I say. But I'm not sure it is for her. "What are you dressed us?" I ask him. He has kind of a lighting drawn on his face. And he is wearing black with his leather jacket on.   
"David Bowie" he says as if it was the most obvious thing. "Famous rock star? Moony!" he tells Remus "Can you believe he doesn't know Bowie?"   
Remus smiles "Bowie is only ours Pads"   
"So what are you dressed as?" I ask him seeing he is only wearing a brown t-shirt and jeans.   
He takes out a wolf mask and puts it on "A Werewolf"  
Sirius smiles "Get it? He is my Moon and werewolves howl at the moon?"   
I smile "Yeah I get it" 

Three, four, five glasses of alcohol. I'm getting dizzy but I don't care.   
I dance with Alice and I keep drinking.   
I hear a laughter and I look around to see Lily Evans. She looks so drunk. She can't stay still. James is trying to hold her.  
"Boggeroff Potter!" she says "I can walk b' mysel'f" but she stumbles around. "Let's get you some water beautiful" James looks at her with adoration.  
"Lov' ya Potter. Ya know that, righ'?" she hungs herself on James.  
I guess she is trying to forget something. Just like me. 

I'm bloody drunk. I'm so dizzy that I lay my body on Alice. She is so tiny that she can't take my weight.   
"Baby" she whispers in my ear "Let's sit you down"   
She drags me to a sofa and lays me down.   
"Al, Al" I say "I lov' ya. I'm sorry. M' really sorry" I'm sorry for ruining your life.   
"Okay love" she says "Just sobber up so we can go home" she kisses my forehead.   
Lying there I see a bunch of people passing by. Bunch of couples snogging. I slightly hear Sirius' brother's voice "Would you stop following me Charles?"   
"Whatever you say Regulus" another bloke says laughing.   
With my sight blurry I see a bloke I don't know, talking with Alice. My Alice. Who the fuck does he think he is? I stand up slowly. Everything around me is spinning but I don't bloody care. I go towards them.   
"He'. Ge' away from m' wife" and I punch him making lots of people gasp. I feel arms grabbing me. I reckon they are James'. I see the bloke on the floor and Alice looks at me scared. And she is the last thing I see before I pass out.


	30. Sirius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suicidal thoughts ⚠️

It feels so good to buy boose now legally this time. I turn 18 today and I'm officially an adult.   
I smile at the cashier lady. She looks old and grumpy.  
"I turn 18 today" I say "It's my first time drinking alcohol" I lie  
The lady looks at me puzzled. I must look like a criminal to her. With my leather jacket, my piercings and my dark sunglasses.   
"I'm drinking only 'cause my friends make me" I lie again. It is amusing to see her reaction. She doesn't say anything and puts the beer cans on a bag.   
"Thank you for your purchase" she says.  
"Wish me luck" I look at name tag "Olivia" I wink.  
She doesn't respond. She must be pissed right now.

I go back to James' Ford Mustang. And I get in on the back seat next to my Moony. On the driver's seat is James. And next to him is Peter.   
"There it is boys" I say "First boose bought legally as a responsable adult"   
"Yeah, responsable" Moony smiles. And we all laugh.   
They all grab a can and we start drinking. James lights a joint. And pass it to me grinning.   
"Happy Birthday mate" he says  
"You're the best Prongs" I say smiling and I take a drag.  
"So now we are getting high, aren't we?" Peter asks  
"Oh c'mon I know you want to" I pass him the joint.   
He rolls his eyes but he inhales it as well.  
"Rem?" Peter says giving the joint to Remus.  
"God! I'm a responsable lad" but he takes the joint anyway. I love him. I cuddle on his lap and he immediately strokes my hair. It is our thing. I love it. 

"Okay" says James taking the joint himself "I'm gonna say a few words, okay?"   
I'm amused.  
"I just want to say that you are my best friend ever Pads. I'll be there for you anytime mate. Love you"   
"Mate" I say smiling. And I send him a kiss. I love him so much.   
"And you two as well wankers" James continues "Pete, you're our sweet cinnamon roll. And we are proud of you, for your therapy, for your bravery, for everything"   
Peter blushes but smiles.   
"And forget about the bitch of Emmeline" I add "We will find you a nice girlfriend, Peteboo"   
"Or boyfriend" James adds  
"Yeaah, whatever you like" I wink  
Peter laughs. He doesn't laugh much but when he does, it is contagious. It's nice because it's rare.   
"Well good luck with that" he says cracking up and we laugh along.   
"Okay, Remus. Your turn" James says  
"I think you are already high Prongs" Remus says  
"Shut up" James continues "You are very special to us as well. I know that we've only know you for a year but it's like we've known you our whole lives"   
I smile to Remus and I can see he is blushing. Peter nods smiling.  
"Who would've say?" James continues having a drag "That the weird lad..."  
"No Uniform" I interrupt  
"No Uniform would be part of the gang"   
Remus smiles gratefully. "I really like you lads" he says.  
"Well, we need a gang name, don't we?" Peter says  
"Good idea Pete" says James thinking "How about, The Foursome?"   
"Still sounds sexual" Remus says shaking his head.   
We all laugh and I take the joint from James.   
"What a terrible name Prongs" I pass the joint to Moony.  
"Maybe The amazing wankers" Peter suggest  
"The amazing wankers? Really Pete?" James says   
"Well I don't bloody know?" Peter takes the joint from Remus. 

"Oi" he says "Isn't that Professor McGonagall?"   
I seat up quickly and we all see through the window. In fact there's Minnie getting out of the market. She spots us.   
"Oh shit" Peter says "She is coming this way"   
He turns off the joint and toss it through the window and we wave away the smoke and the smell. He hides the beer cans as well.  
And then, we hear a knock on James' window. He rolls it down slowly.   
"Good afternoon" Minnie says   
"Good afternoon Professor" we say at unison trying to act innocent.  
"What are you four Marauders up to?" she asks  
"Just chilling, talking" Moony says.  
Minnie looks at us suspiciously "Anyway, I wanted to wish Mr. Black a happy birthday"   
I'm surprised she knows my birthday "Thank you Professor" I say beaming.   
"Well" she coughs "I'll see in class tomorrow" and she leaves.  
James rolls up the window again.  
"Holy shit!" I say "Minnie knows my Birthday!" Remus smiles at me.  
"Marauders" James whispers   
"What?" Peter asks   
"Minnie is a genius!" James says excited "The Marauders. It could be our name"   
I smile "Yeaah. I like it"   
"Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs" James says smiling "The Marauders" 

Later the day we all go to Brent Cross to celebrate. We are all kind of high and slightly drunk. Reggie is with us. Lily comes along as well.  
"Happy birthday Sirius!" she hugs me.  
"Thank you darling" I say. I've grown attached to her. She is really nice.   
"Lils!" Remus hugs Lily. "Rem!" They are very good friends.   
"So Reg" James says "You didn't invite your friend?" He smirks.  
"Who? Barty?" Reggie asks puzzled.  
"No, your other friend. That lad Charlie"   
Reggie rolls his eyes but he is blushing "He is not my friend"   
"Oooh" I smile "Reggie, why are you so red? Do you have a crush?"   
Everyone laughs and Reggie goes even more red.  
"Noo"  
"Oh yes you do Reg" Moony laughs at well.  
"Just stop denying it" I add. I would love Reggie to be gay. It would helps us bond more.  
"Uuuu" James says rubbing my brother's hair.   
And we laugh. "I hate you all" Reggie says crossing his arms. 

We go to different rides. Rollercoaster, the carousel and other games. I remember my parents brought me here when I was little. It was a nightmare. They didn't let me do anything. I ate too much sugar and I ended up vomiting. My father hit me for embarrassing the family on public. Now, it is different when you're high and happy with the people you love the most. 

Later that day I go to Moony's. And we just lay down on his bed. Looking at each other fondly. Kissing now and then. Remus looks beautiful.   
"I love your parents" he says   
"What?"   
"Well no, they are awful" he says "But thanks to them, 18 years ago, you were born. And you are the most amazing thing that had happened in my life"   
I smile kissing him.  
"Really" he continues. "I can't believe you are with me. I'm so lucky"  
"Moony shut up" I say grabbing his chin "You are the most beautiful man I've ever seen" I kiss him "I'm the one who is lucky"   
He smiles at me and we kiss even more.  
"I don't want this feeling to be over" I say now on his chest.   
Ever since I punch that asshole and Rem looked at me with fear, I've been having nightmares. Mother's words came back to me again. 'No one is going to love you. Not the real you'.  
I'm so scared of Remus leaving me. He might, I do terrible things out of anger. But, I couldn't live without him. I couldn't.  
"You're not leaving me, right Moony?" I ask  
"Of course not" he says stroking my hair.  
"I reckon I would kill myself if you leave me"   
"Sirius don't say that" he sounds angry.  
I show him my face smiling "Sorry. I was kidding"   
"That's not funny" he looks angry.  
I smile again and I kiss him in apology. "Sorry!"

"Remus?" We hear his mom downstairs. She is back home. I've met her. She is amazing. She is like another teenager sometimes. I love her.   
We go downstairs. And we greet her.   
"Happy Birthday love" she says to me. And she grabs me in her arms. Everytime I'm with her or Euphemia, I keep wondering why I don't have a mother like that. Why I got stuck with the wicked witch?  
"Thanks Hope" I say   
"Remus, you wouldn't believe who I found outside"  
Remus raises his eyebrows.  
"Come in sweetheart" Hope speaks to the door. And from there a bird comes in. She is beautiful, wearing punk clothes. And with a light blue hair.   
"Hi looser" he says to Remus.  
"Dora!" he says smiling and runs to hug her.  
Isn't she his ex? What is she doing here? Fuck.


	31. Emmeline

I miss Peter. I miss him so much. Bloody hell. I'm an idiot. After he left my house that day, I yelled at my friends and kicked them out. Well they are not my friends anymore. I don't speak to them.   
When I was eveleven I got attached to them because I felt powerful. We were the popular, cool ones. But I don't care about that anymore. Nobody has ever cared really for me. Not them, not James, not Nicky. Except for Peter. I miss him as my boyfriend. I miss him as my friend.  
I've been trying to talk to him. But he avoids me. He is pissed at me. And I get it. Perhaps I didn't treat him like he deserves.   
At art class I stare at him again. His blond hair, his blue eyes. I haven't noticed how blue they are. And he is fit. I mean I knew him really fat, then he was really skinny. But now he looks fantastic.   
I move my seat closer. He is drawing again. He used to draw me when we dated. Not anymore. He is drawing Miss Sprout, our art teacher instead, who is currently asleep on her desk. The drawing looks amazing. He is so talented.  
"I love it" I say "Looks good"   
He doesn't answer and keeps drawing.   
"Peter I told you I'm sorry. I really miss you"   
He sighes "I forgive you, Em"   
I try to grab his hand but he pulls away.   
"I can be with you though" he says "I'm trying to feel better about myself. And I'm broken. I need some time. And you and your friends, they made me feel worse"  
His words hurt me "I don't see them anymore. They are no longer my friends"   
"Sorry" he says picking up his things. He walks away. And I follow him into the corridors.   
"Peter! Please" I catch his arm and stop him.  
I see that he looks so broken and I want more than anything to make him feel okay. I kiss him.   
But he doesn't kiss me back. He looks at me with disappointment.  
"Sorry, am I interrupting?" I see who is speaking and I see Marlene standing there.  
"Marlene?"  
What is she doing here? But she doesn't answer. She is looking around amazed.  
"Woow" she says "This school really looks like a castle. Remus was right. Bloody hell"  
"What are you doing here?" I ask  
"We are going to the movies with Peter, do you fancy coming along?"   
What? I knew she helped Peter with his therapy but I didn't know they got along that well.  
"She can't" Peter says.  
"Amm..." Marlene looks awkward. "Boomer" she says sympathetically. I look at her with hate. Jealousy.   
"Well Pete, let's go" she says "Dorki is waiting at the car and she hates waiting, trust me"   
Peter looks at me. "Pete..." I say.   
I want him to stay with me. I want to talk to him. I want to tell him how much I care for him.  
"See you later, Em" and he drags Marlene. I have tears in my eyes. I hate Marlene for taking him away from me.   
"Em!" I hear someone calling me "Em, Emmeline!"   
I don't turn around but I feel someone touching my arm. Is Lily.   
"Hey, I was looking for you" she says out of breath   
"Why?" I ask puzzled.  
"I want to invite you to my house this weekend. I'm having a sleepover. Just girls" she says "Would you like to come?"   
"Why are you inviting me, Lily?" I ask "We are not friends" we have bearly spoken to each other. The twins and Cora used to hate her. So I didn't speak to her. She didn't speak to me as well.  
"I mean we get along" she says "You're nice. Besides I need advice on something. I need to ask someone. And I don't have girlfriends, so..."  
I need to talk to someone as well. About Peter, about everything. I could use a friend as well. I smile.  
"Okay" I say "Count me in" And she smiles back.

Lily lives in a nice home. It is not as big as the houses I've been to, but it is nice. And comfy. Lily is fixing some snacks on the table.   
"So, where are your parents?" I ask   
"Dead" she says. Shit!  
"Oh shit, sorry Lily I didn't..."  
"It's okay" she says smiling "I live with my sister but she is on a trip with her boyfriend and son"   
"Oh" I don't know what else to say.  
Suddenly we hear the doorbell. And Lily goes to answer.   
"Hi!"   
"Hello! Lily!"  
"We brought vodka is that alright?"   
"Only for you who wants to get drunk"   
The girls come in and I see who they are. Marlene and her girlfriend, whose name I don't know.   
Shit. Why did Lily invite Marlene? I liked her when I met her. But I can't avoid to feel jelaous of her and Peter.  
"Hi, Emmeline" she says "Amm... You know my girlfriend, Dorcas?"   
"Heya" she says.  
I don't know what Peter has told them, but it seems they don't like me very much.   
"Hey" I say smiling. But it is obvious I don't like them here.   
"So" Lily says "Who wants some nachos?" 

Alice also came. She looks dazzling as always and I can't believe she is married. She is only nineteen. She is too young. We are sitting on the floor in a circle. Joni Mitchell is playing on the background and the party is bloody boring. Marlene has been talking with her girlfriend and Lily and Alice have been chatting only between them.   
"So how's Reginald?" Lily asks Alice.  
"Fine. But Frank is more embarrassed. I should've told him, he is my cousin and he doesn't like relationships. At all"   
I remember how Frank, Alice's husband punch a lad on the face out of jelaousy on the Halloween party. It turned out he was Reginald Cattermole, Alice's cousin.   
Lily laughs "Frank is so adorable. It seems like he loves you so much"   
"Yeah, and I love him as well" she says "I can't believe he is my husband"   
Lily smiles. "Next thing we know, you're gonna have babies"   
"Oh shut up" Alice knows "Heaven's sake. Not ready for that"  
"So..." Dorcas says "Are we getting drunk or what?"   
"Dorki, you don't bloody drink" Marlene says  
"I'm not a sports girls anymore, so I can bloody drink" she grabs the vodka bottle and opens it up pouring herself a glass.  
"I thought you were on a volleyball team" Lily says  
"She left it" Marlene answers "The bloody wanker of her coach wanted to take advantage of her. I'd like to kill him"  
"What an asshole" Alice says  
"It was nothing, he just kissed me once"   
"I'm gonna kill him..."  
"Don't you dare babe"   
There is a silence again. We only hear the music. But then Lily speaks.   
"So girls" she says "I need advice"

The bottle passes on and I'm getting kind of dizzy. Lily tell us all about her problem. Apparently her best friend who is a bloke is in love with her. And he made her choose between him and James. Lily doesn't know what to do.  
"I thought you really liked James" Alice says having a gulp of vodka  
"I do" Lily says "Oh God, I do! But Sev has been my friend for so long. He has always been there for me. It feels so bad to just give up on him"  
"Sometimes friends are not what you think you are" I say. I talk from experience.  
"And that Severus sounds like a bloody wanker" Marlene says "If he loves you the way he says he does, he wouldn't ask you to choose, honestly" she is drinking straight from the bottle.  
"And sometimes you have to give up so much for love" Alice says "But is worth it"   
"All men are assholes" Dorcas says. She sounds pretty drunk "That's why I'm a lesbian"   
We all laugh. "Yeah, I wish I could be a lesbian. Life would be easier" Lily takes a gulp as well.  
"It is, trust me" Marlene says   
"Funny you say that" I sound really angry "You hang out with Peter, with Remus, you kissed Sirius..."  
"He kissed her!" protests Dorcas  
Marlene smiles "You like Peter don't you?" she says  
I raise my shoulders pissed   
"Don't worry" she continues " I'm in love with Dorcas. Who is my girlfriend. Who is a girl"   
Dorcas blushes   
"Besides, Peter is just a friend. He is lonely, you know?" Marlene says "Maybe you should be there for him"   
"I've tried" I whisper looking down.  
"Poor thing" Alice comments sipping her drink  
"So do you really fancy him?" Lily asks smiling  
I blush again. The girls look at me.  
"Yeah I do" I say "I really, really like him. I think I love him"   
"Awww" the girls laugh. I gulp down the vodka.  
"But he doesn't want to speak to me" I say  
"Don't worry" Marlene says "We will help you. He will talk to you. I promise" I smile. She is not a bad person. I like Marlene.  
"See? I told you" Dorcas says "Bloody men are wankers"   
"Except for Peter" I say. He is not. He is amazing.  
"And James" adds Lily  
"And Frank" adds Alice  
"And Remus?" says Marlene.   
We all look at each other smiling. And we crack up. We laugh so hard, my stomach hurts. Bloody hell, I'm really drunk.

'I feel love' by Donna Summer plays on the radio and we dance around. Drunk as hell. Laughing so hard.   
Marlene looks through the window.   
"Oi, Lily" she says "You've got a stalker outside your house"   
"What?" Lily goes to look but she immediately hides.   
"Oh shit. It's him. It's Severus"   
We all take a peek of this lad. I see he is wearing black clothes. He has greasy hair and a big nose.   
Marlene peeks through the window.  
"Oh hi" she waves "Fuck you wanker!" And she shows him her middle finger. Then she hides as well. And we all crack up laughing again.   
We dance, laugh and talk all night. I like these girls. I reckon we could be good friends. But something is still on my mind. I'm freaking in love with Peter Pettigrew.


	32. Nymphadora

How much I missed my friends. Marly, Dorki and I used to be pretty close. The three of us against the world. Then, Remus came along and it was the four of us. Then Marlene and Dorcas started dating and they spent a lot of time together, leaving Rem and I alone. And then we got together as well.   
I really loved Remus. I think I still do. But I'm not a relationship kind of bird. I'm a free spirit. And Remus was too deep into our relationship.   
It's fine. He is with another bloke now. Which is awesome. I knew he was bisexual. And he seemed happy with him. I decided to put my feelings aside and be friends with him again. With Marly and Dorcas.

We are currently walking to Hogwarts Yule Ball. A traditional party before Christmas. I'm wearing a white suit. Not dress, just because I feel like it. Remus is wearing a black suit and the girls are wearing beautiful dresses. But I don't know how they can walk with those heels.   
"Can you tell us again why we couldn't just take the car, Dorki?" Marlene asks  
"I'm getting fat" she answers "I need to do some bloody excercise"  
"You're not fat!" Marlene, Remus and I say at the same time.  
Ever since Dorcas left the team (with good reason, I told her she should go to the police or something, bloody wanker), she feels fat. She feels that she needs to keep staying active. 

Hogwarts is a freaking castle. Is it bloody enormous. Remus was right. Holy damn, I would do anything to study in a place like this.   
"I told you Hogwarts was freaking amazing" Remus smiles at me when he sees my expression. I smile back.  
"You're so lucky dork" I say  
We see a girl arriving in a sweet Volskwagen. And when she gets out, I'm speechless. She is really beautiful. She looks like a model. My mouth swings open.  
"So beautiful" I whisper.   
"What?"   
"Nothing" I say kind of blushing.  
"Hi Remus" the bird says smiling.   
"Hi Emmeline" he answers  
"Hi girls" she says to Marlene and Dorcas. "I didn't know you were coming"   
"Remus invite us. Freaking cool, right?" Marlene says  
"Hi I'm Tonks" I extend my hand.  
"Emmeline" she says kind of blushing.  
"Nice to meet you, Emmeline" she smiles  
"So where are the boys?" Emmeline asks   
"They'll be here in a minute" Remus says "No date?"   
Emmeline looks down "I was hoping to see Peter tonight" she looks very sad for this Peter bloke.   
"Do you think he will come with anyone?" she asks blushing.  
"I don't think so, Emmeline" Remus responds smiling.  
Emmeline nods.  
"Okay" Dorcas says "Let's get in, shall we?" 

We come in. The castle looks even more impressive from the inside. It is super cool decorated and the Hall is big. Many well dressed teenagers are scattered around. Girls look at my suit weirdly but I don't mind. I'm kind of used to it. I see Marly and Dorki chatting with the girl Emmeline. I can see they are getting along.   
Later on the boys come too. Meaning Sirius and his friends. I see a lad with wild hair and glasses, a ginger girl, a short blond boy and Sirius. We already been introduced at Remus'. It was awkward as fuck. Seems like Sirius is pretty jelaous of me. And he doesn't like me very much.   
Also there's a bloke that seems like Sirius brother (they look too much alike) and another one with dark skin. Wow. Remus has too many friends. 

Everyone says hello and introduces themselves to me. I smile to all of them and say hello.   
"Wow! I really like your hair" says the girl named Lily "And the suit is wicked"   
"Thanks" I say smiling.  
I see Sirius going straight to Remus and kissing him passionetly. I get it, he is marking his territory. I can't help to look away. It is awkward to see them kissing. And I don't know how to feel honestly.  
"Sirius" Remus pushes him away kind of embarrassed.   
"Hello Aquagirl" Sirius says. That's how he decided to call me for my hair. Which has a greenish/blueish color.   
"Hello Black" I say rolling my eyes  
"I didn't know you were going to be here" he says putting an arm around Remus  
"Well, here I am" I say "Is that a problem?   
"Not at all"  
"Fine"  
"Lovely"   
"Okaaay" Remus says looking between the two. "I'm glad you two are getting along"   
"Of course we are" says Sirius. God he hates me.   
"So Charlie" Sirius changes the subject "What are your intentions with my brother?"   
Him and Sirius' brother go very red. And Charlie laughs.  
"Shut up, Sirius" Sirius' brother says  
"Only the best ones" says Charlie looking at him.  
Everyone laughs. And the poor kid goes even more pink. 

While the party continues, I try to avoid Remus. I don't want his boyfriend to be jelaous. I go and pour myself a drink.   
It seems as Hogwarts kids are pretentious. But I see a man on deep bright blue suit, and a white beard dancing happily on the dance floor. I laugh at the sight. Hogwarts have cool professors as well.   
I catch a glimpse of that Emmeline girl talking with Peter. Actually discussing. He walks away and she has tears on her eyes. She looks beautiful even while crying. And she runs away.   
I'm very curious. I go and follow her to the bathroom.   
Emmeline cries to her reflection. She cries like a princess. Not like a freaking monster like me.   
"Are you okay?"   
When she sees me she turns around embarrassed.  
"Sorry" I say "Didn't mean to intrude"   
"It's okay"   
"I don't know what that bloke said, but he is an asshole. You are too beautiful to reject" I say. She blushes.   
"Thanks" she says "But Peter is not an asshole. I actually hurt him pretty badly" 

Oh. Shit. I don't know what else to say. I look at me reflection. I look like an idiot compared to her.   
I see a necklace on her neck. It is beautiful. It looks so bloody expensive as well. I could pay rent with this. I could help my father. 

"Cool necklace" I say  
She touches smiling "That necklace is my mother's. She gave it to me for my birthday. You want to try it on?"   
"No it's okay" but she takes it off and put it on me.  
"Looks good" she says smiling with me on the mirror. "Only on you" I say taking it off "You're beautiful"   
"You are beautiful too" she says.  
"I would give it to you for tonight, but I'm afraid is going to get lost, you know?"   
"It's okay"  
"I probably better put it away" she stores it on her bag "There's no point in looking pretty when the lad you love doesn't love you back"   
"Tell me about it" I don't know why I say that.  
"Remus?" she asks smiling  
"No" I say "He is in the past now" Is he?  
"Would you like to come back to the party? she says now more calmed.  
I nod smiling and we leave. 

I chat with Lily and her boyfriend James after that. They are so adorable. He loves messing with her. But at the same time, he is so romantic.   
The music gets better and I dance with the girls. Marly and Dorki. They spin me around laughing. 

I see Remus and Sirius. They are laughing, looking at each other. I feel a knot on my throat. And then they kiss. And I feel bad. I quickly go outside.

What is wrong with me? Am I actually jelaous? Or is it just weird to see your ex, the one you thought it was the love of your life with another bloke?

The reason I came back is because Sydney was a nightmare. My dad started earning money. But he spent it all in gambling. He lost his job and we had to come back. He has a lot of debts. The other day, I stopped him from drowning himself in alcohol. I'm so worried about him.

I get in again and unconsciously search through Emmeline's bag. I put the necklace in my pocket. I can't avoid it. Maybe she wouldn't notice. Maybe she can ask her parents for another one. My father needs it more than she does. Bloody hell!

I go and sit down. I want to cry for some reason. Remus sits besides me, while his boyfriend grabs some drinks.   
"Are you okay?" he asks   
"Yeah" I lie  
He smiles.  
"I have something to give you" I take out little book from my jacket. I give it to Remus and he laughs.  
"Is like a Christmas early present"   
It is a photo album. The one we did together. With pictures of us, random notes and things.  
"I found it on my bag. I used to go through it at Sydney when I missed you"   
He doesn't know what to say.  
"Remember what you say to me?" I ask  
"Yeah" he says "That we needed to create memories so when we get married and we get old and gray, we can watch it"   
"And we can show it to our children and grandchildren" I add smiling.  
"And you said that marriage sucks. That you will never get married"   
We both laugh. And I sigh.  
"We can still watch it together" I say "Eventhough we won't get married"   
Remus looks rather sad and awkward.   
I just kiss his cheek "I missed you nerd"   
"Missed you too Dora" 

I feel guilty after that. I put the necklace back. I'll find another way to help my dad. Emmeline is my friend now. I can't do this to her. I dance trying to relax with my old and new friends.


	33. James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST 😭 I'M SORRY

I call Lily to wish her Merry Christmas. And because I miss her. I miss her voice.   
"Hello?" I voice answer at the other line.   
"Lily?"   
"No it's Petunia" their voices are very alike but hers is out of sentiment, out of joy. "Is it you Severus? Because I told you she doesn't want to speak to you"  
Snivellus? So that stupid wanker has been trying to talk to her?  
"It's James actually" I say "Lily's boyfriend?"   
"Oh. Sorry James but she is not here. She went to buy something. Shall I pass her a message?"  
I sigh. "No. I guess I'll call her later"   
"Okay. Merry Christmas" she hangs up.   
Stupid Snivellus. What is his deal with my girl? I really fucking hate him. I start hitting the phone against it's base.  
"JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER" Mom says "What did the phone did to you?"   
"Sorry Mom"   
"Your second name is Fleamont?" Sirius comes laughing. Shit. "How come I've never found out?"   
"Thank you Mom" I say frustrated  
"What? Fleamont is a beautiful name" she says "Now come over boys and help in the kitchen"  
"Fleamont?" Sirius whispers smirking.  
"Fuck you" I show him my middle finger.

Mom makes us set the table for dinner. Reggie as well. This year is a quiet Christmas. Peter has his therapy and his mother has been kind of stressing him out. Lily has dinner with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. And Remus..  
"So why couldn't Remus come?" I ask Pads  
"Moony is spending Christmas at his dad's" he says in a bitter tone. "His baby sister was born. And him and his mother were invited there"  
"That's why you're so grumpy?" He has been in a bad humor lately.  
"The wicked witch 2.0 is with them too"   
"Who?" I ask   
"Nymphadora Tonks. His ex" he cleans a spoon with hate. "What kind of name is that?"   
I smile at his jealousy. It is cute. "Who is the first wicked witch?"  
"My mother"   
I laugh  
"Sirius, don't say that" Reggie protests  
"I am right and you know that"   
Reggie rolls his eyes, shaking his head. I sometimes hear Reggie crying in his sleep, calling for his mother. I feel bad for him. For both of them. My parents are practically their parents. But I know is not the same.   
"You know Remus loves you, right?" I say "Don't be a jelaous freak"   
Sirius sighs "They have history, you know? Is not easy to erase all that" 

I instantly think of Lily and that slimly Snivellus. Is it too difficult to erase everything? I did that with Emmeline. But I guess I didn't care much about her. Is that why Lily can't stop talking about him, worrying about him? Did she love him that much? Does she still love him? Now I'm grumpy as well.  
"Besides" Sirius continues "She is perfect. Hot, beautiful, intelligent, with a strong personality, good taste in clothes and music" he sights "She is practically me as a bird"   
Reggie and I laugh   
"I guess Lupin has a type" Reggie says smiling.  
"Shut up, Reggie"   
"Well. If Rem can't come, we should invite Charlie" I look at Reggie who is blushing. I'm glad that Reggie found someone else. I didn't like the idea of him having a crush on me. I don't want to hurt him.  
"Yeah, that's a good idea" Sirius says "We should call him"   
"Will you stop?" Regulus tries to be angry but his face is pink.  
"Oh, relax Reggie" Sirius smirks "Who said it was for you?"   
I smile "Yeah we just like that lad" I say "It is you who jumped into conclusions"  
Sirius laughs and I do as well.  
"You two are impossible" Reggie leaves clearly blushed.  
I look at Sirius and we laugh hitting palms. 

Dinner is nice. Reggie plays the piano for us. A request from my mother. He is really good and I can tell he likes it. My parents embarrass me with stories from my childhood. They always talk about me to others.   
"Yeah I tell you" mom was saying "He used that suit for everything. He didn't take it off. It began to smell"  
She is talking about the Superman suit I used to wear when I was 6.   
"Ok mom, thank you very much" I say kind of embarrassed.  
"No please Euphemia, tell us more" Sirius says smirking.   
"Remember when he tried to jump from the balcony because he thought he could fly?" My dad continues.   
Mom laughs "Oh, yeah I remember" she says "One day, I took that suit to wash it and Jamie got very angry"   
"I remember he cried all night" Dad adds  
"Okay, that's enough" I say covering my face.  
"Oh Jamie Kent, don't worry" Sirius says and everyone laughs. I put out my tongue for him. 

Suddenly my dad begins coughing. At first I think it is because of the food but no, it isn't.   
"Are you okay dad?" I ask very worried. He has been looking pale lately. He is old as well. So he gets exhausted.  
"Yeah, yeah" he answers smiling "I'm perfectly okay"   
"Fleamont..." Mom has tears on her eyes. What the hell is going on?   
"Don't Euphi, it is fine"   
"Don't you think they need to know?"   
"Know what?" I ask immediately "What is going on?"   
"Well..." mom begins   
"Euphi..."  
"Your father has leukemia, caused by a malignant tumor"   
Silence. I'm shocked. I don't know what to think. I'm numb.   
"What?" Sirius asks in a rage. That's his way of solving things: rage.  
"He was too exposed to the chemicals at the factory" mom continues. She covers her face.  
Dad owns a factory of shampoo and hair products.  
"I'm fine" Dad insists. My heart is beating fast. I know he is lying. I know him too well.   
"I'm so sorry Mr. Potter" Reggie has tears in his eyes.  
"So what do you have to do?" Sirius asks "There is a treatment, right?" My parents look at each other.  
"I don't know" Dad says smiling.  
"The doctor says he is dying" Mom brakes into tears.   
I don't say anything. I'm static.  
"Fuck!" Sirius hits the table. Reggie is crying. I know they love my dad as their own. But he is not theirs, he is mine. He is my father.  
Dad pats mom's back "Don't worry you all" he says "I'm sure I have enough time to watch you grow up. Get married" he smiles "I'll be here a long time to annoy you"  
I stand up. I want to leave. So that no one would see me brake down.   
"Jamie?" mom says between tears  
"I'm gonna take a walk" I say  
Sirius moves trying to go after me. I know he wants to follow me.   
"Don't you dare follow me" I'm in rage.  
I start walking. My mom yells after me but I don't listen. I get out of the house and I start running. I don't care where I'm going.

I remember when I was eleven. We went to a mountain. Just my parents and I. They were my best friends. Besides Sirius of course. They spoiled me with a lot of things. And I love them for that. Best parents ever.  
I was going to ride my new bike. I wanted to ride it down the hill.   
"You're going to fall Jamie" mom had said worried.  
"But I wanna!" I protested  
"Let him Euphi" my dad had said "He needs to learn" then he spoke to me "Pain and failure will build you up. It will make you stronger, son"   
I didn't care about what he said. I was just happy I could ride the bike down the hill.  
Eventually I fell. My knee bleeded. Mom yelled at me worried. I tried not to cry. I didn't want Dad to tell me 'I told you so'. But instead he came, put a band aid on my knee and he kissed my forehead.   
"You're brave son" he said. I felt better. And over time I forgot about that incident until now. 

Pain and failure. I get it now. I need to be brave, my dad would say that. But I can't. Not with this. This won't make me braver. It will brake me. 

I get to the hill when I rode my bike years ago. Tears run down my face. I'm sweating for the long run. But my body is so cold. And I scream. I scream with all my strength. I'm not ready for this.


	34. Regulus

I can't believe how bloody stupid is life. At first I wasn't sure about moving in with the Potters. My brother loved them. But they were practically strangers to me. But over time, I grew attached to them. I've never considered them as parents, like perhaps Sirius did. I still kind of miss mother. (Only mother, not father). But it is so sad to know Mr. Potter is going to die.   
James is angry. He is pissed all the time. Though we know he is suffering. I want to be there for him but he pushes me away. I still love him. As a bother now, but I still do.  
Mrs. Potter is very sad all the time, trying to help her husband in all she can.

And Sirius. Sirius blows off steam the only way he can: Drinking, smoking, not sharing his feelings with anyone.   
I saw him and Remus discussing the other day. Something about Remus' ex.   
Remus left crying. After that Sirius hit everything he could and he cried on my shoulder.  
"Everybody leaves me Reggie" he said "Please not you"   
I didn't know what to say. I just hold him against me.   
It's been weeks since that. 

I've been working at Madam Puddifoot's more to forget about everything. I'm grateful to her. She has been very nice to me. 

And there's Charles. That boy seems from a different planet. He is so weird. He is the opposite of me. Joyful, happy optimistic. I'm bitter, grumpy and negative. I don't see how we can get along. But he insists. I'm probably gonna deny this but I quite like it. I feel accepted and loved. I caught myself thinking about Charles the other day. I felt so lonely after I cried one night in my room, and I just had the urgency to call him. Just to hear his stupid voice, talking about silly stuff. I didn't call him though. 

I'm in the cashier today. And it is not my day. I can't make it work. A costumer lady is impacient in front of me.  
"What is it?" she asks annoyed.  
"Just one second"   
"I don't have all day boy" I'm starting to get pissed. I remember how to aunt Druella used to say things like that. I hate aunt Druella.   
"I can't believe they would hire someone so incompetent here" she mutters "I thought Madame Puddifoot knew better"   
I'm not usually explosive. Sirius is. But lately I've been wanting to kill everyone.   
"LISTEN LADY..."   
"It's okay Miss" Charles comes to my rescue. He has a big smile on his face. Like always. I don't know how he does it. "I can help you with that"   
"Terrible service service. I tell you" the lady says pissed.  
"Sorry ma'am" Charles smiles.  
I want to hit the lady with her own purse. Fat cow.  
Charles gestures me to leave. 

I go outside.   
"Aaaarggg!" I yell grabbing my head. Shit. I don't know why my temper is so bad these days. I guess is a mixture of everything. My parents, Sirius, James, Mr. and Mrs. Potter. I even miss Barty a lot. Hogwarts is not Hogwarts without him.  
I sit down on the side walk, breathing hard. Head between my knees.   
After a while, I feel Charles sitting down next to me. I know is him because of his mint tea scent.   
He doesn't say anything for a while. And I don't face him.  
"Don't worry" he finally speaks "Mrs. Rotherfiled is a pain in an ass. Nobody likes her"   
I don't answer. I keep with my head hidden in my knees. Charles voice makes me feel better somehow. Shit I shouldn't feel this way.   
"You know?" Charles continues. He always speaks too much "I don't remember much about my biological mother. But somehow I have a song in my memory. I reckon she used to sing it to me"   
Charles told me he is adopted. And I kind of felt connected to him. I'm kind of adopted as well. From the Potters. Shit. The Potters.

"Love me tender, love me sweet..."   
Charles begins to sing. Fucking sing.  
"Never let me go... You have made my life complete. And I love you so..."   
I raise my head slowly. And I look at him. He kind of has a good voice.  
"Love me tender, love me true... All my dreams fulfill..."  
I look into his eyes and he smiles while singing.  
"For my darling, I love you... And I always will..."

I kiss him. His lips are amazing. It felt nice to kiss James (without all the embarrassment) but this is amazing. With Charles I feel butterflies on my belly and my heart jumps on my chest.   
When we brake apart, I see Charles is glowing in happiness.  
"Fucking hell" he says in excitement "I just kissed Regulus Black" he lays on the pavement moving happily "Aaaaw"   
I can't avoid laughing. He is freaking adorable.   
"You're so bloody weird Charles"   
He sits back again "So that was kissing?"   
"You haven't kissed before?"   
"No" he smiles "I know that is weird for a 17 year old. But yeah" he is beaming.  
I smile at him. But beyond him I see something I never thought I would see again. My mother. Shit.   
She gestures me to go to her. Am I allucinating?  
"Can we do that again?" Charles asks  
"I..." I'm too shocked "I'll be right back" 

I follow my mother to her Mercedes. My heart beaming fast.   
Shit. What does she bloody want? I get into the car.   
"Hello sweetheart" she says as she lights a cigarette.   
"Mo...mother" my voice is bearly audible. "What do you want?"   
"What a why to say hello to your mother" she says realising a bunch of smoke. "Didn't you miss me darling?"   
I did. But I don't know. I'm not sure what I missed.  
"I can see you have a boyfriend" mother talks without expression "Homosexual like your brother?"   
Shit, she saw me kissing Charles "He is not my boyfriend" I say that to protect Charlie. I don't know what she could do to him. And I don't even know if he is my boyfriend. We just kissed.  
"I've been missing you sweetens" mother continues.  
I don't answer.  
"Didn't you miss me? After everything I've done for you?"   
"Yes mother" sometimes I say what she wants to hear. I don't want to disappoint her.   
"Life is pretty shit at your uncle's" she sights "I've been thinking on going to Paris" she looks at me "What do you say. Want to come with me?"  
I look at her. Is she kidding? No she seems serious.  
"I..."   
"Just picture us at Paris, Regulus" she says touching my cheek "Le Place Dauphine, la tour Eiffel... "  
"Sirius?" I ask. That's the only thing that pops into my mind. I can't leave him.  
My mother's expression becomes bitter "Your brother is an impossible case. He hates me" she takes a drag of her cig "We never got along. But you" she fixes my hair. She always used to do that when it was too messy. "You were always the good one, baby. Always patient with me".  
Only because I was too much of a coward to do anything.  
"You can study at Beauxbatons. Best school at Paris. And then we can get you into the best University" she continues.   
"I can't..." I whisper   
"Why not?" she asks dissapointed "Is it because of that boy? C'mon Regulus, you can do better. We can find you a nice man. The most handsome one in Paris. I don't care"  
I know she is lying. When Sirius came out, she was bloody disappointed. I know she is homophobic. She just wants me to go with her.   
"Mother, why now?" I ask. I have tears in my eyes now "Why didn't you care when we left?"  
"Regulus..."   
But I continue furiously "Why didn't you care every time father hit Sirius or yelled? Why didn't you come for us before? And not only me. Me and Sirius"  
She looks hurt or angry. I can't tell.  
"Being a mother is difficult. I'm trying my best, Regulus" Really?   
I shake my head in disbelief.   
"C'mom sweetheart" she continues. This time she grabs my chin, fearfully "I've gave birth to you and your brother. Educate you into what you are. Fed you and bought you nice things" she has tears in her eyes but she looks angry "I think I deserve a little love from my children, don't I?"   
Tears run down my cheeks. Sirius would've leave her by now. But I can't. I was too attached to mother when I was little.   
She realizes my chin and looks away "I can't believe you would choose Euphemia Potter over me. Your own mother" I know she hates Mrs. Potter.  
"I haven't" I muttered under my breath. I like Mrs. Potter but she would never be my mother. I'm stuck with the woman in front of me.   
She looks at me "At least tell me you'll think about it"   
I sigh wiping my tears. I take a last glance at her. And I get out of her car. 

As I go back to James' I think about my mother's proposal. I'm not gonna lie. I'm glad my mother came looking for me. It made me feel like she loves me. Perhaps Sirius as well. She looked broken that we left. Let's be fair, we left because of father. And then she found out that I have new guardians. I feel bad for mother.

But I don't want to leave Sirius. He would never speak to me again if I leave with mother. I know that. I don't want to leave James as well. He is very special to me. And Charles. I don't know what I feel for Charles but I know I would miss him. There I said it. 

When I arrive to the Potters. And I see James with tears on his eyes. Mrs. Potter is on his arms, crying. And I see Sirius coming towards me. He hugs me tight.  
"He is gone, Reggie" he whispers in my ear "Fleamont is dead"


	35. Lily

It broke my heart to watch James so sad at his father's funeral. Since then he's been absent, not the goofy bloke I used to know (and love). He hasn't been attending to Hogwarts. I heard he is helping his mom with all she needs. I know that he pretends to be strong for his mother, for Sirius and Regulus. And he has been pushing me away. I reckon he doesn't want me to see him like that. 

I want to catch Remus after chemistry. But, since I'm Slughorn's favourite student, he holds me back. He says something about Unis. He wants to help me to get a scholarship, but honestly I don't care right now. I want to ask Remus about James. I haven't seen him for a while.

"Rem!" I catch him by the fountain.   
He smiles at me "Hi darling" he kisses my cheek.   
"Remmy, have you seen James? Have you heard something about him?" I sound really worried.  
"No, sorry" he looks down "I haven't seen him. He didn't come to class"   
"Haven't you talk with Sirius?"   
He sighs "He is kind of angry with me"   
"Why?"   
"He thinks I'm gonna dump him and go back with Dora"   
"That's ridiculous. You would never do that, right?"   
He doesn't answer.  
"Remus, you don't want to be with Tonks, do you?"   
He closes his eyes. "Of course not" he says. "I mean. I love Sirius but seeing Dora again brought back a lot of feelings" he sits down at the fountain "I don't know, it is complicated"   
I sit down and put my head on his shoulder.  
"I know. I feel the same way about me and Severus" I say "I mean I fancy James but is complicated to just leave all with Sev behind"   
He kisses my head.   
"I reckon James wants to see you" he says  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. You just have to plan something for him, you know? To cheer him up"   
I kiss his cheek.  
"Talk with Sirius. You two are beautiful together"   
He smiles but I can't tell he is confused. I like Tonks, but I want Remus and Sirius to end up together.

I plan a date for me and James. I want to make him feel better. I know how horrible it is to loose a parent. I lost both. But I want him to smile.  
I borrowed my sister's car to pick up James. I see him coming out of his house. His hair as messy as always. He is so handsome. How much I've missed him.   
I get out of the car smiling.  
"Prepare yourself for the best date ever James Potter"   
"Are you driving? Then is going to be the most dangerous date ever"   
I hit his arm "Oi! I drive perfectly, okay?"   
Lie. I sucked at the driving test. I don't know how I got my license. I haven't driven since then.  
I open the door for him.   
"Come in my lady" I say  
He smiles and gets in. I get in too and I start driving.

Down the road I'm freaking out. I'm afraid to go any faster. I listen how others beep and insult me.   
James laughs "You're too adorable"   
"Oh shut up" I say "I reckon I'm the only one responsable"   
"That old lady over there drives faster than you, Lils"   
"Fuck you"   
James laughs again. How much I missed his laughter. At least I'm doing okay. I'm distracting him.  
A bloke passes by insulting me.  
"Fucking prick!"   
"Oi! That's my freaking girlfriend you asshole!" James shows him his middle finger.   
"Don't listen to him babe, you're doing okay" he says  
"Oh God, really?"   
"Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" James asks smirking.  
I put out my tongue for him. James looks at me in adoration. I love it. 

We finally get to our destination, after a stressful ride. I brought James to Port Meadow. The place is almost empty, since is noon. I've prepared a picnic for us.   
We set a blanket on the grass and prepare everything to have a nice meal. We talk and laugh for what it seems like hours. We avoid the subject of his father. We watch the kids play for a while. It seems that James is more relaxed. 

By noon the Port is practically desserted and I turn on the radio for us. I set it in a station that I know for sure plays mostly The Beatles, since James likes them so much.   
'Lucy in the sky with diamonds' starts playing. And I stand up.  
"Please don't laugh at me okay?"  
"What are you doing?" James asks  
"I was going to dance for you but now I'm embarrassed" I extend my hand "Please dance with me"   
"Ah, ah" James shakes his head smiling "I want to see you dance for me"   
I smile. Oh shit. This is so embarrassing.  
"Nah"  
"C'mon baby" James says putting his elbows on the ground, settling himself "I thought the point of this date was to make me happy. That definitely would make me happy"  
I blush "I hate you"   
He smirks waiting for me to dance.   
I start swaying around kind of awkwardly.   
"What is that?" James asks smiling  
"Okay!" I protest  
I start dancing now more confident. I spin around and moving my body to the rhythm of the song. I hear James laughing and looking at me with heart eyes. Which makes me blush even more.   
"Okay that's enough" I stop dancing  
"Aaaaw..." James starts protesting but I sit on his lap and cover his mouth.   
"Bloody hell James" I say "The things I do for you"   
I look into his eyes taking my hand away from his mouth to kiss him but before I do that he speaks.  
"I love you" he says.  
Shit. Holy shit. Did he just?   
I look into his amber eyes. They haven't looked so serious. I think that James is so amazing. He is handsome. He is a good friend, he would do anything for the ones he loves. He is a good son. Helping his mother in this difficult situation is not something anyone would do. And then I don't have any doubt. Not Severus or any bloke could make me feel the way I feel about James. I love him. I'm deeply and helplessly in love with him.   
"I love you too" I've never been so sure about anything in my life.   
And we kiss. My heart hops into my chest. I play with his messy hair while he gently touches my cheek.   
I'm hungry for every touch he makes. I want him closer and closer.   
He starts kissing my neck and I close my eyes in pleasure. I want more. My body is on fire.   
I start unbottoning his shirt. And he takes it off quickly. We kiss more and he starts rolling up my blouse. I help him to take it off quickly.   
We lay on the floor kissing. I'm in my bra and James lays on top of me. I can't feel his warm all over me. My hands move all over his back. He is so fit from his football training and I love it.  
Before we get any further he kisses me slower this time and then he stops facing me. My heart is beating fast. I see into his golden eyes. He looks beautiful in this poor light.  
"Are you sure about this?"   
I nod. My face is flaming. But I want this. I want his touch.  
"Just keep kissing me James" I beg.  
And he does he kisses me everywhere. 

Later on we lie between the blankets only in our underwear. It's night by now and I can see starts in the sky. I'm so bloody happy and I love it here.   
I turn my head to see James. My beautiful James now fast asleep next to me. I smile on how gorgeous he looks with his messy hair flying on the wind. He is not wearing his glasses. He looks peaceful like an angel. I touch his hair slowly. Playing with it between my fingers. He moves in his sleep and opens his eyes slowly.   
"Amazing" he mutters in a sleepy voice   
"What?" I ask smiling  
"Waking up with you"   
I smile like a fool slightly blushing.  
"I love waking up with you too"   
I kiss him again. This time carefully without a rush.   
And I lay on his chest. Cuddling in there. Enjoying his scent. And he starts stroking my hair.  
"You know that this was dad's favorite beach?" James says. Oh shit. I shouldn't have brought him here.   
"We used to make swimming races between him and me" he releases a little laugh "He always let me win"   
He makes a funny noice between a laugh and cry.  
"I miss him Lils" he says with his voice broken "I miss him so much"   
I sit down and gesture him to lay his head on my lap. As he does it. I stroke his hair.  
And between my arms, he brakes down crying which brakes my heart.


	36. Alice

I wake up rather late. I'm so bloody tired. I see that Frank is not in bed. I stand up putting on a sweater and I go to the kitchen.   
Frank is cooking breakfast, flipping around some pancakes. I smile at the sight. He is perfect. I couldn't ask for more.  
"Good morning" I say smiling  
"Oi! I was gonna get you breakfast to bed"   
How adorable is my husband? Oh my God.   
"How so? You need anything?" I joke.  
"No" he smiles "It's Valentine's"   
I raise my eyebrows. "Really? I guess I lost track of time"  
I hug my husband's waist. "Mmm come back to bed with me"   
He laughs "You don't want breakfast?"   
"I want you"   
He grabs my face and kisses me "I want you too" he says "But I'm starving. So after breakfast"   
"Are you rejecting sex for some pancakes?" I smile playfully.  
He looks between me and the plate of pancakes.  
"Okay we can have a quick one" he grabs my waist and lifts me up.  
"Oh!" I yell laughing "Frank!"

After breakfast I go over the mail. And to my surprise I see a letter from my father. Shit. I haven't heard from him since before my wedding. What does he want? I look at Frank carefully and I see he is watching some cartoons on the telly. I open up the letter. 

'Dear Alice:  
We missed you honey bear. We know we said some things we didn't mean to. We're sorry. We are having a Valentine's day party with our closest friends. They would like to see you. We would like to see you. You can bring Frank and we can talk it through.  
Love,  
Mom and Dad'

Bloody hell. They want to make things right? I haven't told this to Frank but I miss my parents. I often cry at night. Even though I'm happy, really happy, I miss them so much.   
Frank laughs at the program he is watching. Holy shit. How am I going to tell him I want to go to this party? He wouldn't like it much.  
"Baby?"   
He hummes in response concentrating on the show.   
"My parents are organizing a Valentine's party" I say carefully.  
Frank looks at me.   
"They want us to come"   
Frank expression is undescribable. He thinks what to say, and he turns off the telly.   
"Do you want to go?"   
"Yes"   
He looks down.  
"It would be good to see mom and dad again"   
He just nods. I can tell he doesn't like the idea.   
"Okay" he says finally "If that's what you want"   
I smile "Really?"   
He nods again. I love him so so much. He always puts me first. He would do anything for me. Mom and dad have to realize that. I hug him. "You're the best husband ever" and he laughs.

We arrive to my parents house. I see Frank is really nervous. I grab his hand to confort him.  
"Everything will be alright" I say "I promise"   
He sighs and he just nods. This has to go alright.   
As we enter the party, I recognize a lot of my parents' friends. They all want to say hello. When I introduce Frank as my husband they make a disgusted expression which they hide with fake smiles. Assholes. I just came here for my parents. I can tell Frank is uncomfortable. 

I finally spot my parents speaking with a bloke I don't know.   
I take Frank's arm and I drag him there.   
"Mom, dad, hello" I say   
"Alice!" Dad says smiling.   
"Ma petite" Mom adds.   
I smile and I hug her. I hug my father too. I missed them so much.   
"Frank" my father says "Glad to have you here son"   
I can see Frankie looking at my dad with hate. But he shakes his hand.   
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Fortescue"   
"Well, in name of my wife and me" Dad continues "Welcome to the family"   
I smile at Frank but he seems like he doesn't buy it.  
"Thanks sir"   
"Well ma petite" Mom says smiling "Dis-moi tout sur le mariage" she grabs my hand and takes me inside. 

I'm happy that my parents and I are okay again. I try to enjoy the party with Frank. Even though is full of old grumpy people. We are the only ones who dance and enjoy the music. I can feel lots of eyes on me but I don't bloody care.   
"I'm going to the loo" Frank says. I can see him more relaxed.  
"I love you" I say  
He smiles and leans in to kiss me.   
When he leaves I go to talk with my dad who is smoking a cigar by the pool.  
"Enjoying the party sweetheart?"   
"Yes daddy" I say "Thank you for inviting us"   
"You know who is here?" he continues "Yale's dean. He is really impressed by you. I reckon you can still go to Uni"   
I shake my head "It would be complicated to take Frank to America"   
"Then he should stay" I look at him "And you can fly here now and then"  
"No Daddy that would be complicated"   
My father sighs "Just look at him Al. Look at him" he points towards Frank who is now talking with one of the waiters.   
"He doesn't belong here" Dad carries on "He doesn't fit with you. He is not part of this world, your world Alice"   
I'm starting to boil up.  
"That's enough!" I say rather angry "You invite us here to make amends with him. So do it"  
Dad takes a drag of his cigar.   
"Or did you invite me here to convince me to leave Frank?" I say it as a joke. But he doesn't answer.  
"Bloody hell you did, didn't you?" I say in surprise "You brought me all the way here to convince me to divorce Frank?"   
"Alice..." he tries to touch me but I pull back.  
"DON'T TOUCH ME" I yell. Which makes everyone look at me, including Frank, but I don't care. I'm in a rage.   
"Whot is goin' on?" mother asks in her french accent.   
"You knew about it didn't you?" I ask her. "The reason why I'm here?"   
She doesn't answer, she just looks confused.   
"Alice, what's happening?" I feel Frank next to me but I don't look at him. I just stare furiously at my father.   
"You know what?" I continue "I really missed you. You and Mom. And I was hoping that we could get along again. Like a big happy family"   
"Darling..."  
"But honestly I don't recognize you anymore" I continue "Frank is my HUSBAND, my bloody husband" I yell so everyone hears me "And if you don't accept that, I don't think we can get along. I don't think I can be your daughter anymore"   
They don't answer. I just see my mom sobbing. She mutters something in french to my dad but he doesn't pay attention.  
"Let's go Frank" 

I grab his hand and drag him all the way to our car. I'm really pissed. Once inside Frank looks at me speechless. And I can't take it anymore I brake down crying. I can feel my husband's arms around me.  
"They will never accept this, won't they?" I say between sobs. Frank doesn't answer. He just kisses my head.   
"The way you spoke back there" he says "It was pretty sexy"   
I laugh between sobs. He always knows how to cheer me up. I steady myself and wipe my tears.   
"Can we just go home?" I sniff  
"Yes love" he says "Let's go home"


	37. Sirius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning of Depression, Low self-esteem, Anxiety and Uncontrolled Rage

I pace through my room. Everything here, everything in this bloody house reminds me of him. Of Fleamont. I know he wasn't my father. I know I shouldn't feel like this. James must feel worse. But I can't avoid feeling something on my chest.  
Fleamont wasn't my father. I don't have happy memories of him. Of him teaching me to ride the bike for the first time, him tucking me at night, him telling me stories before sleep, or him giving me advice on life.  
And that's what pisses me off. That I don't have a father like that. That Fleamont is not my father to grief. If my own father died, I reckon I wouldn't give a shit. I would feel kind of relieved. People like him are the ones that should die. Not good people like Fleamont.

I overheard Regulus talking with mother. On the phone. He said he was still thinking about it. About what? I wondered. So I picked up the other phone and I heard. The wicked witch. She wants to take Regulus to Paris.   
"I can't leave Sirius mother" Reggie said  
"Forget about your brother, Regulus. He is unstable. He is going to abandond you"   
"He is not..."   
"I heard Mr. Potter died" she said without pity or remorse "Who is going to take care of you? Mrs. Potter is too old, probably gonna die soon. Their son is a little reckless. And Sirius? Sirius only thinks about himself. And don't forget about his rages. Only me, honey. Only your mother could be there for you"   
I hanged the phone after that. I hate the fucking wicked witch. I hate Regulus. I hate everyone. 

I put on some rock to calm myself. Not David Bowie. His music reminds me of Moony. My Moony. And I don't want to be sad. I am pissed. I keep drinking and drinking some whiskey that doesn't do me shit. I smoke a lot to. Nobody seems to be working. I have that feeling on my throat. I want to hit, kick, punch, and kill. I haven't felt this way since I left Grimmaund Place. I hate this. I hate me. I'm the worst.

I need some air. I need to hit something or I will do something I will regret. I drink the rest of my whiskey. And put on my jacket. I go downstairs. Fuck. I don't have my motorcycle anymore. I left it at Grimmaund Place when I ran away. And I don't dare to go back for it. Which pisses even more.   
"Sirius?"   
Is James. He is in the living room. Wearing pijamas. Is the middle of the night and he haven't been sleeping these days. He is also smoking.  
"Where are you going?"   
"I need to go out" I shake of rage. I feel tears burning on my eyes. I want to leave before James sees me like this.  
"Is the middle of the night" he says   
"So?"  
"Sirius. I know you" he says "You're upset. And when you are upset you do stupid things"  
"THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS" I yell "I'm not perfect and well behaved like you"   
Shit I really need to get away.   
"I never said that" James continues "Just calm down, okay? Let's talk"   
I shake my head. I'm about to cry. I can't let him see me cry.   
"What's going on?" Regulus comes down yawning.  
Shit. I don't want to see him.  
"So now you're worried about me? You fucking asshole" I say to my brother.   
"What?"   
"Why don't you go with her?" I push him "Go and leave with the WICKED WITCH" I start yelling   
"Sirius you're gonna wake up my mom" James sounds worried about her. At least he has a mom. A good one.   
"You're were always a coward Regulus. Such a mommy's boy. So go to fucking Paris with her"   
He doesn't says anything.  
"Sirius..." James begins  
"HOW MANY TIMES YOU WATCHED HOW THEY HIT ME, INSULTED ME AND YOU DIDN'T DO SHIT. You never do shit. You're a bloody coward Regulus. So go! Go and leave with her! Just FUCKING GO!"   
Regulus has tears on his eyes. I'm hurting him. I push him even harder. And I feel James arms around me. I push James too.  
"Don't fucking touch me!"   
I see Regulus is crying now "Oh the baby is crying? Why don't you run to your mommy? Ha, Regulus?"  
"Sirius stop it!" James sounds furious   
"No you stop it!" I yell to him. "You don't know half of it. Perfect James, with a perfect life"   
"Bloody asshole, my father just died"   
"So what? He was perfect! He loved you and all" I try to get to the door but James stops me.   
"Move" I say pissed off.  
"No"  
"FUCKING MOVE JAMES!" I try to push him away but won't let me. I start to get frustrated.   
"Let me out! Let me fucking out!"   
James grabs me on his arms and I move trying to free myself "SHIT LET ME FUCKING GO!"   
Suddenly the tears brust out of my eyes. I can't take it anymore.  
"Let me go" I say.  
And I brake down crying. I cry and cry on James shoulder.   
"Sh sh" he whispers in my ear "It's okay" And he just holds me tight. I drop to the floor. This is too much. Too much pain. 

I cried what it seemed like hours. I'm sitting on the living room. Tears all dried out. I have no more. I just look at the wall feeling numb.   
Regulus is sitting on the other side of the room. He is hugging himself sobbing silently. Maybe I was too harsh with him.   
"Luckily my mom is taking her night pills and she didn't wake up" James whispers "Are you feeling better?"   
I raise my shoulders.   
"I'll fetch some tea, to calm you down" James says "Go talk to him" he looks at Regulus "He is the only family you got, you can't treat him like that"  
I don't answer I just look at the floor.   
"He saved your life that day, you know? By bringing you here. He was worried sick. He loves you Sirius. He would do anything for you"   
James goes to the kitchen. I sigh and go to sit besides Regulus. But I don't say anything.  
"I wasn't going to leave you" Regulus says "I would never do that"   
"Did you consider it?" I ask "Going to Paris?"   
He nods and I sigh in protest.  
"You were right" he says "I'm a coward" he starts crying again "I've never stopped father because I was so bloody scared of him. I think mother was as well"   
I have tears in my eyes again.  
"I'm a fucking coward. And a bad brother. Shit" Regulus hits his own head.  
"You're not a bad brother" I say "I said all that because I was pissed at you. You saved my life that day. He would've killed me. Mother would've let him. You were the only one who cared about me in that house"   
We stay in silence for a while.  
"Everyone leaves me, father, mother, even Remus" I close my eyes when I say his name. It really hurts "But I never thought you would leave me. Anyone but you Reggie"   
"I just thought about Paris because I wanted to have a normal life" he sobs "To be a normal teenager with a normal mother. But I realized she is not normal. She is not my family Sirius. You are my family. Only you"   
I look at him with my eyes full of tears.  
"So I finally said no to her. That I won't go to Paris. That I would stay with you. I love you Sirius"   
I hug him. And Regulus hugs me back. Both of us crying. He is everything I have. I know that James is like my brother. But Reggie is my real brother. The proof that at least one member of my family loves me. 

"Tea?" James lays down two cups on the table. And we brake apart awkwardly. Wiping our tears.   
"Hey, mate" I say "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I know that you must be suffering for your dad"   
James sighs "It's fine. Sirius, I just want you to know that I love you. You and Reggie. You two are my brothers, okay?"   
I nod and hug him. Reggie smiles at James. I'm glad to have them both. To have Peter, and Moony...   
"I want to call Remus" I say sniffing. I just want to tell him how much I love him. We've been kind of fighting a lot these days. I feel stupid for yelling at him.   
James smiles "It's like 4 a.m. Maybe you should wait until tomorrow?"   
"I kind of yelled and said stupid things to him"  
"Maybe you should do something romantic for him" Reggie says   
I smile "Now you know about romantic, do you?" I know he likes Charlie.   
Reggie shakes his head laughing. I kiss his forehead.  
"Isn't Remus birthday next week?" James asks.  
"Yeah"   
James grins "I have an idea. It would be cheesy, but I reckon he would love it"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people! I just wanted to let you know we have 10 episodes left of this Fanfic. It has been a journey. When I began writing it I never thought it would be this long or people would actually enjoyed it. I'm not an AU fan very much but I really enjoyed writing this one. Thank you for your comments, support and everything. I'm honoured you enjoyed it. I will be posting more fics in the future. Not only about the Marauders but other eras and HP Characters. So stay tuned. I love you guys so much 🥰


	38. Marlene

My eyes keep closing. I'm really tired. But no. I can't sleep.  
"You can have a nap, you know?" Mom says "This will take long"   
My mom is having her weekly chemo. I am always with her. I love my mother. She is the strongest person I know. Ever since we found out about the cancer, I never leave her side. Or at least I try. I don't want to regret not spending as much time with her when she is gone. I don't like to imagine that scenario. Treatment is going great, I reckon.  
"I'm not that tired. It's fine" I lie   
"Of course you are Marly" she says smiling "Just have a nap. I'll be here when you wake up"   
My eyes are closing again. Shit. I have to trust that mom is alright.   
"Okay" I say squeezing her hand "I love you"   
"I love you more, sweetheart"   
And her smile is the last thing I see before falling asleep. 

I wake up after a while. Shit I think I was drooling over the hospital's armchair. I open my eyes to see my mom is not longer there. Panic. Shit, shit. I look around but she is not around. I have a knot on my throat. I stand up quickly to search among the corridors. I have tears in my eyes. She can't be dead. She can't.   
I catch a glimpse of her at the end of the hall. And my heart starts beating again. I breathe properly again.  
I run towards her and hug her tightly.  
"Marly" she says   
I cry on her chest "You said you were going to be there when I wake up"   
"Sorry darling" she strokes my hair "The doctor needed to speak to me. He said it was urgent"   
I look at her "What did he say?"  
She smiles "I'm getting better baby. The chemo is working. The cancer is reducing"   
She starts crying and I hug her. I cry of happiness. Thank God. I'm not ready to loose her. She is my best friend. We cry in each other's arms. We are so happy. 

The next day is Remus' Birthday and I feel like celebrating. My mom is doing better. I think there's is a God above. I go to pick up my girlfriend and when she gets on the car I kiss her passionetly.   
And I smile like a fool "Mom's chemo is working"   
"Holy shit Marly! That's excellent news!"   
She hugs me. I love smelling Dorcas. She has a special scent. Peaches and cream.   
"Let's go and celebrate, shall we?"   
Dorcas is silent for a while and then she bites her lip.  
"What is it?"   
"Gunter came to see me today"   
Bloody hell. Everytime Dorcas mentions that asshole my blood boils. I hate him. Not only because he kissed my girl, but because he is an abuser and I hate abusers.  
"What did he want?"   
"Me to get back on the team"   
"Dorcas..."  
"He seemed really sorry"  
"He's not" I say angrily "What did you say?"   
"I kicked him in the balls and ran away"   
I smile "Really?"   
Dorcas laughs "Yes. I can defend myself babe"   
I laugh as well "That's good baby. I'm proud of you"   
"But I do want to be on the team"  
"Dorki..."   
"I miss volley" she protests "It was my life Marly"  
"There are other teams, I'm sure"  
"Already formed. They don't usually search for new recruits at this point"   
"You're not getting back with that wanker"   
She sighs "I know. I just told you what I would like"   
I don't answer. I want to support her. But I'm afraid of what that wanker could do to her.   
She grabs my hand.  
"Let's go and celebrate your mom" she smiles.  
And we kiss before going to Remus'. 

When we get to Remus' people are already there. Frank and Alice, Lily, Emmeline, Tonks, even Regulus and that Charlie kid. They seem to be looking at each other fondly. And Regulus blushes a lot. There's definitely something between them.   
But the boys are no where to be seen. Meaning Sirius, James and Peter.

We greet Remus' mother who is a sweetheart. She is so cool. She is actually wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt. Remus and her get along pretty well.   
Then we spot Remus talking with Tonks, laughing at something. I don't know what is up with them. Are they going to get back together? What about Sirius?  
I go and hug Remus from behind "Hello handsome. Happy Birthday"   
"Hello sweetie" he says hugging me back.  
"Happy Birthday Rem" Dorcas hugs Remus as well.  
"Hi girls" Tonks smiles.  
"Hey babe" I say "What did you two were talking about?" I smirk to them  
"Nothing in particular" but I see Tonks and Remus looking at each other grinning.  
"Hey Remmy?" Lily asks "Where are the boys? Have you heard from James?"   
"And Peter?" Emmeline adds. Oh God she is too in love with Pete  
"No" says rather sad "I haven't heard from them"   
"I'm pretty sure they will be here soon, right?" Tonks speaks. Seems like she feels kind of guilty.  
"You talked with Sirius, right Rem?" Lily asks  
"Yeah. I mean I tried" Remus answers sadly.  
"What's going on?" Dorki asks on my ear.  
"Sirius is kind of jelaous of Remus and Tonks" I whisper in her ear.   
And Tonks rubs his hair "Don't worry dork. They love you. They will be here" 

Suddenly we hear music from a distance. Coming from outside specifically.   
"Remus, sweetheart" Mrs. Lupin says looking through the window "I think you might want to go outside"   
Remus looks puzzled but he goes outside and we follow him. We are bloody curious, okay? 

'Can't take my eyes off of you' by Frankie Valli is playing and by the surprise of everyone, James, Sirius and Peter are dancing and singing the song. Grinning like idiots. They have a poster that says   
"We love you Mr. Moony"   
Remus brusts into laughter. And the three boys continue dancing like idiots.   
We all laugh on how ridiculous they look.   
"What the fuck is this?" asks Remus pretty amused.  
"Happy Birthday Moony" Sirius says grinning.  
Remus smiles and goes to hug the boys. They have a group hug.   
"Happy Birthday Moony"  
"Happy Birthday Remmy boy"   
And then Remus and Sirius look into each other's eyes and they kiss.   
"Oh God okay"   
James and Peter move away awkwardly. Instead James goes to kiss his girlfriend. I see Emmeline looking fondly at Peter. But he is doing his best to ignore her. I take a glance of Tonks who looks rather sad watching Remus and Sirius kissing.   
"Okay" I say "Enough with the ridiculous performance. Can we all go inside and get waisted?"   
They all laugh and I realize Mrs. Lupin is there.  
"I mean just dance and drink responsibly?"   
She smiles. And we all get inside.


	39. Severus

Arrrggg! I can concentrate. I study in the afternoons now. I dropped school. My father said it was a waste of time, since my future is already wasted. Mother didn't say anything about it. She is afraid of him. I'm not. One of these days, I'm going to kill that asshole.   
Anyway. I study on my own. I don't want to ruin my future. My plan is to get away from here, as far as possible. And drag Lily with me. Or at least that was my plan.

Right now I can hear my father's screams all over the house. I can bloody concentrate like that. I close my book and I feed my turtle Ferguson. I need to go out. Perhaps I can bump into Lily and talk to her. 

I go downstairs. My father is watching a football game while my mother is cooking something for him. It is always the same. I walk slowly so he won't see me.  
"Oi! Kid!" Shit. "Where are you going?"   
"Out" I say  
"Bring me a beer before you go"   
I clinch my fist. Who is he to order me? But I get a glimpse of my mother shaking her head. She looks afraid. Afraid I might do something to him.  
I sigh and pass him the beer. But he grabs my arm really tight. It hurts.   
"Listen to me wanker" he whispers so that mother won't hear him "If you get in trouble one more time. I will kill you"  
Not if I kill you first. I hate him. 

I get out of the house really pissed. I walk towards Lily's which is two houses away. We live at the same neighborhood. Even though her house looks clean and decent, while mine is horrible.  
I don't knock or get in. I know she doesn't want to see me. I've been waiting for her to come and look for me. I want her to realize that Potter is a wanker and she is better off with me. I want her to realize that on her own.   
Instead I hide behind a parked car near by. Waiting.   
And few minutes later she comes out. With her nephew.   
She starts walking with him and I just follow her. Without being seen. I just love watching her. Watching her do anything. I can't see how she grabs her nephew's hand, how they jump together, how they play together. That boy loves her. I don't blame him.  
I follow them back home and I see us Lily enters the house grabbing her arms. She must be cold. She is practically always cold. After she goes in I stay there hidden. I feel stupid because I don't know what else to say to her. I have told her I freaking love her and it wasn't enough.   
"What are you doing here?"   
I look to see Petunia, Lily's sister staring at me with anger. She has always hated me. And honestly, I don't like her very much. She is not Lily.   
"Nothing" I say  
"Would you leave her alone?"   
I don't answer  
"For God's sake. Stop it" she continues "You call her every bloody day, you follow her around, you stand outside the house like a fucking creep. What do you want?"   
I want her to love me. To need me the way I need her.  
"Just to talk to her"  
"She doesn't want to speak to you" she continues "Don't you understand?"   
"That's is not up to you" I say kind of angry "I will leave Lily alone when she tells me to leave her alone"   
She shakes her head "If I see you here one more time, I'll call the police" she goes inside. Fucking prick. It's up to Lily. Not her. I'm starting to think the only good person in this world is Lily. Only her. No one else. 

"Oi! Snape!"

Shit! I hear Dolohov's voice. Antonin Dolohov is my provider. He is 40 years old. No wife, no children, just his boys. Two muscular pupils that follow him like puppies. That bloody asshole is well known to sell and distribute drugs around the neighbourhood.   
"Hello Tony" I say. Shit. I know what this is all about. I owe him money.   
"So boy? Where is my money?" Fuck. He doesn't even say hello? He must be pissed.   
"I'll have it by the end of this week. I promise" I don't want to do this in front of Lily's house, shit.   
Dolohov laughs and the others do it as well. I don't find this funny at all. 

He takes out a cig and puts it between his lips.   
"Larry" he extends his hands "Give it me"  
Larry takes out a gun and put it in his hand.   
I look around for support but the street is desserted.  
"What the bloody hell is this?" Tony asks   
"It is a gun, boss" Larry answers.  
Dolohov hits his head "I know this is a bloody gun. Wanker! I was asking for my lighter"  
"Sorry boss" Larry hides the gun away. "I thought you were going to kill the kid"   
"So I will, if he doesn't give me my money" he smiles at me evily. I swallow.  
"I thought you really liked this kid, boss"  
"For God's sake Johnny. I'm trying to scare the kid. Fucking asshole" Dolohov rolls his eyes.  
Then he looks at me. This time he lights his cigarette.   
"Oi Snapy, we saw that ginger girl, didn't we lads?"   
I go very pale.  
"She is pretty" Larry says  
"I can't see you like her Snapy" Tony says "Is she your girlfriend?"  
I don't answer.   
"Do you snog her a lot, hey?" Johnny asks  
"C'mon Johnny, I bet he gets more laid that you do"  
"Oi!"  
"SHUT UP!" Dolohov yells impatient.  
"Please don't hurt her Tony" I plead.  
"Nobody is going to hurt her boy" he says putting his arm around me "All you have to do is give ma money, yeah? You have 24 hours lad" he rubs my hair.  
Shit! That is little time. What am I going to do?   
"Let's go lads" says Tony.  
"Bye little man"   
"Bye little lad, good luck with your lady..."  
"LADS" Dolohov is impacient.  
"Sorry Tony"   
And they leave. 

Shit! I go back home. I need to think of some plan to gather some money. But how? I pace around my room, thinking. I know that Tony seems like a bloody wanker but he is smart. I've known he has killed people before. I'm scared. I don't care about anyone not even me. But I do care about Lily.

I see Ferguson moving slowly on his box. And I get an idea. Potter. I can take the money from him. Maybe threathen him or steal money. I can't tell him it is my fault Lily is in danger. He would kill me. I have to get the money in another way.   
I sneak into my father's room. I take it. His gun. And I put it in my pocket.


	40. Peter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of a redemption for the canon Peter who betrayed his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning of Low self-esteem, Suicidal thoughts and Gun Violence

"Thank you for coming with me mate" James says turning off the car.  
"Sure Prongs" I answer smiling  
I came with James to by some groceries for James' Birthday next week. He didn't want to do anything. He is still rather sad for his dad. But Mrs. Potter insisted on preparing James a lovely dinner. So she sent us to buy some stuff. Sirius and Remus couldn't come because they are on a bloody date. They are probably shagging or something.   
"It is your first birthday without him, right?" I ask carefully.  
He sighs "Yeah"  
"I reckon he is proud of you. Whenever he is"   
James smiles "I hope"   
With the corner of my eye, I see a shadow moving outside.   
"Did you see that?"   
James turns to look. "What?"   
"Nothing" Maybe is nothing "I thought I saw something"

We get into the store. And I help James to pick up whatever is in the list his mother gave him.   
"So how's therapy Wormy?" James asks "I feel I haven't asked you in a long time"   
"It's okay" I say. It's been kind of a nightmare sometimes. I mean I see myself fatter. But I haven't stopped eating. I keep excercising everyday. And I try not to eat to much junk food. But I see myself fat. Mom isn't any help. She reckons I'm starting to eat too much and that I'm gonna go back to my old self. I hate my old self. I hope that doesn't happen.  
"Yeah? You look good mate. In a good shape" James says  
"Are flirting with me?"   
He laughs   
"Don't you think I'm too fat?" I ask  
"Not at all. You are fine"   
I smile. But I know James is lying. Anyway.  
I feel the presence of something. Someone following us. But I turn around and I don't see anyone. Am I crazy?  
"Prongs"   
"Mmm"  
"I think someone is following us" I whisper  
"What?" James looks around "No one is there. Just that old lady. Maybe she is flirting with you"   
James smirks. Maybe I'm crazy. I use to have nightmares now and then. Perhaps I'm allucinating things.  
"Or maybe" James continues "Emmeline is following you around" he smiles "Are you going to give her a chance?"   
Shit. Emmeline. Is not that I don't love her, or miss her. I do. I think about her every day. But I don't know. Maybe I'm scared. Too insecure to be in a relationship right now. And besides. There's plenty of better good looking blokes she could date. Why me?   
"I don't know. Maybe" I say  
"Look. If you fancy her, just give her a chance. You might end up being endgame like me and Lily" he smiles.  
"What? Are you gonna marry her?"   
He blushes "I hope one day"   
I raise my eyebrow.  
"Are you blushing?" I ask amused  
"Oh shut up"   
"Yes, look at you!"   
"Stop it Pettigrew!"   
I laugh and he smiles.

After we pay for everything, we get to James' car. While he stores all the bags, I feel someone's presence again. Shit, what is wrong with me?   
"Prongs" I say "I need to pee"   
"Arrrg mate"   
"Don't be a cry baby" I say "It would only take a minute"  
"Okay. But hurry up" 

I go to the loo and wash my face. I need a proper sleep soon or I'll go completely mental. I need to stop feeling like this and seeing things in my head. After I pee I go back outside. But to my surprise I see a figure in front of James. They have a gun. A bloody gun pointing directly at James. Shit. It's night time so nobody is around.   
"Mate, calm down, okay?" James is saying with his hands up "Just put the gun down and we can talk it through"   
"Now I'm your mate, right? Now that you are afraid of me? What happened to Snivellus or wanker?"   
I recognize the voice. Is Severus. Lily's friend. He sounds pretty scared though full of hate towards James. Shit.  
I go back inside quietly. There's no one there but the cashier lady.   
"Call the police" I say  
"I'm sorry?" she sounds kind of angry  
"Call the bloody police!" I yell pretty scared "There's a bloke outside with a gun!"   
The bird goes pale and grabs the phone shaking.   
"Stay here" I say. And she nods with tears on her eyes.

I go outside hiding myself behind a car. I need to do something. Distract him or something until the police arrives.   
"I should kill you" Severus continued with his voice full of venom "For taking Lily away from me. You brainwashed her! She was different before you. She was my best friend!"  
James shakes his head "It was her choice Severus. I didn't do anything. She stopped loving you"   
"SHUT UP"   
James jumps.   
"Okay" James continues "I'll give you all the money that you need. Okay?"  
Severus starts crying "I don't want your bloody money anymore. I want her. I want you to leave her alone"   
"Severus I don't want to do that. I love her"   
"No"  
"And she loves me"   
"NO"   
"I'm sorry but it's true"   
"YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME" Severus yells "SHE WAS THE ONLY THING I HAD"   
James doesn't speak. He is too overwhelmed. And so do I. Oh shit. Why isn't the bloody police already here? I try to search for a rock or some weapon I could use there's nothing.  
"I'm doing this for her" continues Severus now more calmed "To keep her safe. Give the money. All your money"   
"Okay" James takes out his wallet and gives it to him. "All the money is there. Credit cards, everything"   
Severus pulls the wallet from James' hand but he doesn't lower the gun. I'm thinking of going inside and look for some weapon but I'm afraid something will happen to James in the meantime.   
"Do you think I'm a bad person?" Severus asks. He sounds so vulnerable and broken.  
"I always thought that" James says. Oh c'mon Prongs stop talking.   
But Severus ignores him "I was always there for her. I loved her more than anything. She was my world" he sniffs "Why would she choose you?"   
"I don't know" James simply says.   
"My life doesn't have any sense without her" Severus says.   
James looks at him puzzled. And he finally lowers his gun. And instead he points at himself. He drops James' wallet.   
"Severus.... Don't do that"   
"Shut up Potter. Don't tell me what to do"   
This is my chance I run towards him and before he pulls the trigger I try to stop him. I try to take the gun from him. We force for a little while and then we hear a shot noice.   
I hear the cashier lady screaming and James yells.  
"NO PETER!"   
I feel an undescribable pain on my stomach. I look down to see a hole there. Shit. I've been shot. I drop to the floor and I see everything blurry. I see James face screaming my name. And I hear the police ambulance before blacking out. 

I open my eyes slowly. The bright light blinds me. My head hurts. I don't know where I am. I just see the sunlight creeping through the window. I wake up and I see the room better. I'm in a hospital room. My first thought is the bloody therapy. Perhaps I stopped eating again. And then everything comes back to me. Severus, the gun, James screaming. Shit. I didn't die? 

I search for my wound and I feel bandages all over it. It doesn't hurt anymore. I look around to see my mom asleep next to me.   
She wakes up.  
"Peter?" she says "Oh bloody hell. You're awake!!" she hugs me tight  
"Arrrggg mom" now it hurts  
"Sorry, sorry" she has tears on her eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay" she says "Oh sweetheart. You gave me a fright. I couldn't live without you. I couldn't" she starts crying.  
"Mom. It's okay" I squeeze her hand "I'm alive, aren't I?" I smile  
"What in the world where you thinking when you tried to take the gun of that kid?"   
"I was trying to save him. And James" speaking of "How is he?"   
"He is fine. He was pretty scared as well"   
"And Severus?"   
"He is with the police now. I reckon he will go to jail for selling drugs and carrying a gun"   
I nod. I know he is a wanker, but I feel bad for him. I wonder what Lily would say.  
"Listen to me baby" mom grabs my hand "I'm really sorry for everything" she cries  
"For what?"   
"For calling you fat, forcing you to do excercise, making you feel bad about yourself" she sniffs "I shouldn't have..."  
"Mom..."  
"I shouldn't have Peter because you are bloody perfect. You hear me? You are beautiful on the inside and outside. And don't let anyone say otherwise"   
I smile   
"It was very brave what you did for your friend and I am really proud of you"   
She touches my cheek smiling.  
"Peter I love you so much. You are everything I've got. You are the best thing that has happened to me. I thought I was helping you. But I'm an idiot"  
"You're not an idiot mom" I have tears on my eyes as well "I love you too"   
Her words overwhelm me. I've never listened at her speaking like that before. I love her. And I know she was only trying her best. I hug her again.   
She laughs wiping her tears. "I reckon your friends would want to see you" she says "They were bloody worried. Shall I tell them to come?"   
I nod. I would really like to see them.

Mom leaves the room and seconds later my friends come in. James, Sirius and Remus.   
James hurries to hug me.   
"Arrrggg Prongs. It hurts" I say  
"Sorry" he has tears on his eyes.   
"Our little hero" says Sirius smiling  
"How are you feeling Pete?" Remus asks  
"I'm fine" I smile "Really"   
"What would you do that, stupid asshole?" James asks "You could've died"   
"But I didn't, did I?"   
"Don't you ever try to act like a hero again. You gave a me a fright"   
I smile "Promise"   
"We are so proud of you Wormy" Sirius says. His eyes are glittery.   
"You're are amazing Pete" Remus adds "I reckon we couldn't live without you"   
"Thank you for saving my life. I freaking love you mate" James says  
I can't avoid crying. Crying of happiness. I love this three assholes so much. I would do anything for them.   
"You're making me cry fucking wankers" I say  
And they all hug me.  
"I love you" I whisper   
"It's pretty cool" Sirius says "Now we can say we have a gangster among the Marauders"   
We all laugh at that.


	41. James

It is late at night but I don't care. I climb to Lily's window. She's been avoiding me. Ever since the incident with Sna... Arrg I can not ever mention his name. I feel bloody guilty. He was going to kill himself. And part of it, is my fault. I took Lily away from him. I treated him badly. I have nightmares about that day. The scene repeats itself on my brain. The bloody gun pointing me. Peter dropping to the floor.  
I didn't tell mom the whole story. It would have frighten her. She is still vulnerable with dad's death. Me too, I reckon. I told her some burglar hurt Peter and that he is fine now. 

I knock on Lily's window carefully. I don't want to wake up her sister or her little nephew. She opens the curtains. I can see that she has puffy eyes. I smile at her. And she opens the window.   
"Hello beautiful" I whisper  
"What are you doing here James?"   
"I think we should talk" I say "And I miss you"   
She smiles slightly and lets me in. I've never been in her room before. Beige walls. A little white bed. Full of stuffed animals. Pictures of what it seems to be Lily's parents. And pictures of Dudley. 

Lily sits down on her bed and I do it as well. She doesn't look at me. I grab her hand.  
"What's wrong?" I ask "You have been avoiding me"   
The day we took Peter to the hospital, Lily cried and cried. Not only she was worried for Peter, but she was worried for her friend Severus. I'm pretty sure.  
"Everything is my fault" she says. Her voice breaking.   
"What are you talking about?"   
"I shouldn't have left him alone"   
I sigh closing my eyes.   
"I feel guilty as well" I say. She looks at me. Her eyes glistening for the tears. "But it is not our fault. We didn't do anything bad"   
She doesn't answer. It seems that I'm trying to convince myself.   
"He was broken Lily. There's nothing we could have done to fix him"   
"I'm a bad friend" she cries. My blood boils. I make her look at me.  
"Lily that's not true" I say "You were always there for him, okay? You didn't do anything wrong. It was him that didn't accept your decisions. He only used you"   
"He needed me James" she starts sobbing on my chest "Perhaps I..."   
"What?" I think the worse "You shouldn't have been with me? What we have is a mistake?" I have tears on my eyes as well.   
She shakes her head. She wipes away my tears.   
"No" she says "What I feel for you couldn't feel any better"   
I kiss her slowly but showing her how much I love her.   
"It's not your fault" I stroke her hair "Severus is fine, Peter is fine"   
Lily just nods.  
"Severus was going through the wrong path anyways. With the drug he was selling and all"   
Lily sniffs "I just wish none of this would've happened to him"   
"Me too" and I mean it. Sometimes life is unfair for good people: Sirius, Reggie, Peter, Remus, my father, even Severus. Perhaps he didn't know better.   
"Will you stay with me?" Lily says  
"Sure beautiful" I kiss her head.  
We lay down on her bed. She stays on my chest. I love her and I love this.   
"I'm glad you're alive" she says "I couldn't live without you. I love you"   
I secretly smile like a fool. And my heart starts beating fast. I hope she doesn't notices.   
"I love you too" I whisper. And in no time, we fall asleep. 

I go and pick up Peter for school. I've been doing so for two weeks now. I just want to do things for him. To show him how grateful I am. He saved my bloody life. I will always be in debt with him. I freaking love that little man. Sirius, Remus and Reggie are with me. We see Wormy getting out of his house with the help of his mom. She never leaves his side. I immediately go to help him.   
"Good morning James" says Mrs. Pettigrew  
"Good morning Mrs. Pettigrew"   
I put my arm around Peter.  
"Bloody hell James" he says "I can walk. He didn't shoot me in the leg, did he?"   
I smile. "Alright"   
We get to the car.   
And Peter gets in besides me. "Hello boys"   
Sirius kisses his cheek.   
"How are you Peter?" Reggie asks.   
"You know, I have a hole on my stomach" Peter says "But it's pretty wicked" he smiles. And we all laugh.  
"Shut up bloody marthir" I say.

On the way to Hogwarts I keep an eye on Peter. Is a reflex. I'm terrified of something happening to him.   
"So I think Regulus has something to say" Sirius says  
"What?" he asks blushed  
"C'mon Reggie" Sirius says smirking "Tell them what you told me"   
Regulus shakes his head  
"Now we need to know Regulus" Remus says  
"C'mon Reggie" I add  
"Wormy almost died" Sirius says "I think he needs to know"   
I laugh and Peter nods smiling. We all look at Reggie expectingly.   
He sighs "Fine" he says "Charles and I kissed"   
We gasp smiling.  
"But we are not dating... I think.." Reggie rolls his eyes.   
We all look at each other smiling. And we scream in excitement. Reggie goes pink. I'm really happy for him. He deserved someone nice. And Charlie is a pretty good lad.  
"Reggie has a boyfriend" I chat and the others follow me.  
"Reggie has boyfriend! Reggie has a boyfriend!"   
"Oh shut up" Reggie covers his face very embarrassed. And we all laugh.

When we arrive to Hogwarts, all eyes are on us. News travel fast and everyone knows how we survived death. And Peter got shot.   
"I feel watched" Remus comments  
"I thought you have already gotten used to it. I mean you spend a lot of time with me" Sirius says.   
Remus rolls his eyes smiling.  
Emmeline comes running to hug Peter.   
"Arrrg" he protests in pain  
"Sorry" she says "Peter..."  
"Save it Em" he says "I'm fine"   
"No listen to me, For God's sakes" she says. Mostly everyone is looking at her "I know I've been a shitty person to you but it is because I am an idiot. I didn't realize how amazing you are. How handsome you are. How delicate and generous you are. And don't you think I'm doing this just because you almost died. I've known this ever since we talked that day in the Great Hall and you said those nice things about me. I've loved you since then. But I was too stupid to realize. I'm in love with you Peter Pettigrew. And I don't care what people had said about you in the past and what they say now. I don't care anymore about appearances. I just know that I have changed because of you and I love it. I love you" she finishes with tears in her eyes.   
"I know that you probably hate me but..."   
Peter shut her with a big kiss on her mouth. They kiss in front of everyone. I can see The Carrows and Coraline being pissed. Meanwhile me and my friends smile. It was about time. I'm happy for Pete.   
"I love you too Em" Peter says   
Emmeline smiles and hugs him.   
"Ouch. The wound"   
"Sorry" Em laughs.   
Sirius starts clapping and we follow him. In no time, the whole school is applauding. Peter and Emmeline smile kind of blushing.


	42. Dorcas

Exams got me stressed. I have to focus on that before graduating. I mean I don't have volley anymore. I don't have a scholarship. So I have to work harder to get into Uni. My parents would kill me if I don't get in. Besides that, I'm stressed out because of Marly. She got into Cambridge. That bloody dork. She wants to study Medicine for her mom. I love her. But that means we will not see each other as often. She will probably get Uni friends and forget about me altogether?

I squeeze her hand as we walk by the park. Moments like these are the ones I don't want to loose in the future.  
"Promise babe you will never forget about me" I say  
Marlene looks at me puzzled.  
"What are you talking about?"   
"When you go to Uni" I say "You will probably prefer your new friends over me. You're are so pretty, so you will have vultures around you all the time" I feel rage at the thought.   
Marlene laughs "That would never happen, okay?" She stops walking and I stop as well. "I don't think I can ever stop loving you, Dorki. No matter what happens in the future and how many vultures I meet"   
She smiles at me and I smile back. I kiss her. I don't care there might be people around. I don't care what anyone says. I'm in love with this girl.   
"So, you wanna go to snog in my room?" I ask smirking.  
"Loved to, but I promised Peter I was going to see him later today. Want to come with me?"   
"Arrg!" I protest. Marlene and Peter spend too much time together. I mean they kind of understand each other. She helps him with his problem. But I can't avoid to be jelaous.   
"You spend more time with him than me" I make a pout.  
"Dorcas, he got shot. He almost die"   
I know and I feel bad about that. Peter is actually very strong. Even if he doesn't seem like it. Risking his life for someone he bearly knows. I could never do that. Well for Marly yes. I'd die for Marlene.  
"And he is dating Emmeline" Marly continues.  
"I know"   
"They are cute together" she says "And I have a girlfriend. A girl that I am in love with?"   
"You are in love with me?" I ask carefully  
"Who said I was talking about you?" She asks sarcastically.   
I laugh and kiss her again.   
"Okay. Go and visit him"   
"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"   
I shake my head "You know how awkward I get in those situations"   
"What situations?"   
"The 'Got shot and almost died' ones?" I say "Besides I want to practice volley for a bit"   
I know I haven't been playing professionally, but I have. At least by myself. Or with one of my brothers. Or Marly. I'm sorry I can't leave it.   
"Okay" Marly says.  
She kisses me goodbye and leaves towards Peter.   
"Say hi from me" I yell "And that I hope he gets better or something"   
Marlene waves goodbye and disappears down the corner.

Volley is so relaxing. It clears my head. It instantly makes me feel better. I feel blood running through my veins. I feel alive.   
I practice my serve, since I am alone right now. I do it one, two, three... Ten times when I hear a voice.   
"You haven't lost your touch"   
Is Gunter. I immediately go pale. Even though I'm red for the sweat. He notices my expression.  
"Sorry I wasn't following you or anything. I came here to practice as well" he shows me his own ball.   
I don't answer and he sighs "I know that you probably hate me Dorcas, but now that you are here, I think we should talk"   
"I have nothing to say to you" I start walking away.  
"Please just talk" he says "I promise I won't touch you. We can sit ten feet apart. And if you don't fell safe or something your can scream. I reckon there are people on the other side of the park"   
I sigh. He sounds geniune. Perhaps talking won't do harm. Oh God. 

We sit in a bench. Two benches actually. I'm sitting on the edge of one and on the other side, he is sitting in the other edge of the other one. I can't see his face luckily. I wait for him to talk.  
"Dorcas" he begins "You are a beautiful, talented and a unique girl. The only person who shares the passion of volley as much as I do"   
I don't answer. What is his point?  
"I couldn't avoid falling for you. Even more if we spent so much time together"   
I wait for him to continue. He sighs.  
"I knew you were way younger than me. I tried to stop thinking that way about you, I really tried. But I just couldn't. My heart had made a choice"   
I don't feel flattered, actually kind of disgusted.  
"I didn't know you fancied girls, Dorcas" he sighs "You should've told me"   
"That's something personal" I respond very pissed.  
"Sorry I know. But I thought we were friends?"  
Never. Asshole.  
"You are homophobic. I thought you were going to kick me off the team"   
"I'm not homophobic"   
"Oh please" I say "I've heard you saying offensive jokes about 'pussies' or 'fags'. I've heard you said that to your friends"   
"Everyone tell those jokes" he protests  
"That doesn't mean they are right" I yell "Or they are funny" I whisper  
"I'm sorry" he sighs "I'm bloody sorry. You're right. Is just that I haven't met anyone gay. Not properly. I'm gonna stop I promise"  
He sounds sorry. And geniune. But I force myself not to believe him. Like Marly said he is an manipulative abuser.  
"I kissed you because I thought that we had something. That I had chance with you" He lets out a little laugh "I was blind with love I guess"   
I don't know what to say, so I don't speak.  
"I realized what a big mistake I made after you looked at me with fear" he says "It made me realize what a bad person I am"   
"You're not a bad person" He isn't. He is actually a good lad. Well I thought so before the whole kissing business.  
"Yes I am. I shouldn't have kissed you" he continues "I promise I would never do anything that you don't want, Dorcas. I just really thought you wanted it"  
Shit. Maybe I led him on, without realizing. I was very nice and close to him.  
We stay in silence for a while.  
"Dorcas" he says "Don't give up on volley just for me. You are very talented. And you love it. I would never kick you out. You decided to leave"   
I sigh "I don't know"  
"If you feel uncomfortable with me, I'll quit. But please come back. We've tried to replace you, but no one is as good as you. No one understands the team as you"   
Wait what? Gunter loves volley. He freaking loves being coach. And he is willing to give it up for me?  
"But you love the team" I say  
"Yeah" he answers "But I don't care. You are younger and more talented. It would be a waste to loose you. That's what I wanted to tell you the other day when you kicked me?"   
I laugh.   
"It really hurt, you know?"   
I smile. Maybe I misjudged Gunter. He is not a rapist. He is just a confused lad.   
"You don't have to quit" I say "I don't mind you being my coach again"   
I can feel him smiling  
"Really?"   
"Yeaah"   
"If you want..." he says "I can help you get a scholarship. I reckon you are still on time"  
"Okay"   
"And don't worry I'll keep my distance from you" he continues "You are allowed to kick me if I do something disrespectful. Which I won't"   
I laugh again.  
"Okay Gunter. Thank you" 

I'm back on the team! And I could get a scholarship. Everything is fine and will be fine. I hope Marly understands and don't kill me or Gunter. Sometimes people are not what you believe. And not everyone is bad or has bad intentions. I will try to remember that in the future.


	43. Remus

Children are not my thing. I know that most people find them adorable and kissable. I just feel awkward around them.  
I'm currently watching my baby sister playing with some old shoe. I reckon is my father's. Seriously children find weird toys sometimes. Her name is Sophie and she looks like Sally. Good for her, my dad is not very good looking.   
"Isn't she adorable?" Dora says. She makes faces to my sister and the baby laughs.   
"Sure I guess"   
I just can't believe this baby is my sister. I can't believe my dad had another child. He shouldn't be allowed around children, even worse have one. I'm just afraid he would do something as bad to Sophie as he did to me. Those marks stick with you forever. 

"Thank for watching her tonight" Dad says.  
Him and Sally look elegant. They have a birthday party or something. So I'm watching over Sophie. And Dora volunteered to join. She loves kids.   
"Yeah whatever"  
"All the instructions are on the kitchen, I reckon she would fall asleep soon" Sally suggests.  
"No problem Sally" Dora says smiling. I just simply roll my eyes.   
"Remus, a word?" Dad says. He goes to the hall and I follow him. Leaving the women with the baby. 

"Listen" he whispers "I just want to let you know, I won't drink tonight. So don't worry"   
"Good" I answer "Or Sally might get a scratch or something"  
Sometimes I'm too cruel with him. But I reckon he deserves it.   
"Remus" dad sighs "How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry?"   
"Sorry doesn't fix anything" I say crossing my arms "I just hope you won't do the same with Sophie"   
"I know I made many mistakes with you" he says rather sad "But I love you. You are my son. My first and only son"   
He has tears in his eyes. And he hugs me. Which caughts me off guard. I don't know what to do. I just stay still. I'm sure I loved my father once. I'm sure I still do. But everytime I look at him I remember what hideous I am. What he did to me.   
"Don't you have to go now?" I ask  
He sighs "Yeah" he turns around "Let's go honey"   
I watch them leave. Sally smiles at me on the way out. 

Is just me and Dora now. And Sophie I reckon, but she is a baby. You have no idea all the chaos in my brain that Dora left when she went to Sydney. Even a messier chaos when she returned. I mean I was falling deep with Sirius. And then Dora brought back everything I felt for her. So I didn't know what to do or think. Sirius noticed. He got angry and jelaous. I don't blame him. I spend too much time with Dora. But I can't simply just shut her out of my life.   
All the moments alone are awkward. We only talk about the past. When we were in love. When I thought I was gonna marry her. I would still marry her. If it wasn't for Sirius. My Padfoot. 

I watch as Dora pace with Sophie around the room. She is smiling like a fool. I smile at the sight. I reckon she would be a good mother. I don't know if I would be a good father.   
"She fell asleep" Dora says in adoration. And she places the baby on the bed. Then she sits next to me.   
"I want that" she says "Being a mother you know"   
Shit. Now I feel awkward.   
"I reckon you would be good"   
"Really?"   
"Yeah" I smile. But not with me.   
"I just want to be able to give my children everything. To have a decent life. Not loosing everything in stupid games and boose"   
She sounds angry. I know she is talking about her father. I feel so bad for them.   
"No luck finding a job?" I ask  
"No" she sighs "My dad is too old and I'm too punk. People think I'm weird"   
"You're not weird" I say as I put my arm around her "You're amazing! Fucking old fashioned bastards"  
She laughs.  
"Maybe I can help. I can convince my father to hire you as Sophie's personal babysitter. That would get a lot of weight off me"   
Dora smiles shaking her head.   
"I know your father doesn't have much money. I don't want to bother. Not him, not you"   
She puts her head on my shoulder.   
"I'm sorry Dora" I say. Life is a boomer. I guess you can't have it all. Sirius has money but shitty parents. Dora has an amazing dad, but no money. I feel bad being at Hogwarts among fancy stuff.   
"When I graduate. I will get a decent job and help you out. May all the 'good education' at Hogwarts be worth something"   
She smiles "It is. Not for nothing is the best school in the country. But Rem, you don't have to do that"   
"Yeah I do. You're my best friend. I love you"   
"I love you too" she says.   
Her eyes look glittery. And she leans in. She kisses me. Oh shit. I shouldn't have said 'I love you'.   
I pull away "Dora..."   
She looks down "But you are in love with him, don't you?"   
It is clear now. I mean I don't get the same spark. The same beating in my heart. The same sensation in my body. I only feel that with Sirius. Only with him. I thought I loved Dora before. And I did. I do. But as my friend. My best friend. The love I have for Sirius is different, more intense, more exciting, more beautiful. Is Sirius. It has always been him.   
I nod my head slowly.   
Dora looks to the floor embarrassed. "I knew that Remus. Ever since I came back. The way you look at him is different. True love" she sighs "Perhaps I thought you still felt something for me"   
"I'm sorry" I say "I don't want to hurt you"   
"Hey dork" she says rubbing my hair "It's fine"   
I hug her. With tears in my eyes. Dora is special to me. I don't want her to walk away from my life.   
"What he had was beautiful, right?" she asks. I can tell she is crying as well.   
"The best" I say "I will never forget it"   
She kisses my cheek. And wipe her tears.   
"So" she smiles "What are you still doing here?"   
"What?"   
"Go and tell Sirius how you feel. Tell him how much you love him"   
"Right now?"  
She laughs "You really are a dork"  
"Oi"  
"I feel bad for that poor lad. His boyfriend spends a lot of time with a bird, not with him. He hadn't give him an explanation of what he feels. And right now, he is babysitting with his ex. I would get jelaous as well" she smirks.  
I smile. She's got a point.   
"Go!"   
"No I cannot leave you. What about Sophie?"   
"I'll take care of her" she says "I think he deserves to know"   
I'm actually really confused. I just rejected her and she is encouraging me to have a romantic date with my boyfriend.   
"You really are amazing Dora" I say. She really is.  
"Please tell me something I don't know"   
I hug her again. Really tight this time.   
"Okay Remus just fucking go!" She pushes me.  
"Okaaay" 

I don't have a bloody car. Shit. I forgot my father took his. So instead I take my bike and ride it to James house.   
I know exactly what window is from Sirius' room. We've hanged out (mostly shagged) in there a lot. I hope he is there.   
I start throwing tiny rocks at his window. But nothing. Shit.   
But I see James' window opening up instead.  
"Remus?" he asks puzzled.   
"Oh. Hi James"   
"What are you doing?"   
"Calling Sirius..." I say awkwardly "Is he there? Can't you tell him to see through his window?"   
James laughs "He is here with me" he looks inside "Oi mate!"   
James gets inside and seconds later Pads looks through the window. Handsome as ever. All I want to do is kiss him.  
"Moony?"   
I smile "But soft what light through younger window brakes? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon"   
I try to be romantic reciting Shakespeare. But Pads looks puzzled.   
"What?"   
"Haven't you read Romeo and Juliet?"  
"Isn't that the book in which both lovers died?"   
"Yeah" I say "Is romantic"   
"I don't like tragic endings" Sirius smirks.  
I roll my eyes   
"Come here wanker. I'm taking you somewhere"   
Sirius raises his eyebrow.  
"Are you going to do something sexual to me?"   
"You know I can hear you, right?" We hear James voice from inside. I smile.  
Sirius laughs. And he starts climbing down the window.   
"You know you can just walk down the stairs" I say smiling.   
"Well that would not be romantic, would it Moony?"   
He gets to the ground and I kiss him. Suddenly we feel something dropping on my head. When I look down, I see a condom on the floor.  
"Oi, wankers!" James shouts from inside "Don't forget to use protection"  
We both laugh. Sirius pick it up. "Thanks Prongsie" she says winking and puts the condom in his pocket.

I take Sirius on my bike. He doesn't mind. And when we arrive to the place, Sirius looks at me puzzled.   
"Isn't this your mother's house?"   
"Yeah"   
"Very romantic, Lupin"   
"Shut up and get in"   
I drag my boyfriend inside but we go to the back yard. To where my old three house is.   
I climb up and Sirius follows me. The house is so little that we have to sit down to fit. Everything is just like I left it. I smile to myself.  
"My dad built me this house when I was little. Before the accident" I say "I was the happiest boy in the world. I spend most of my time here. It was my little shelter from the world"   
Sirius smiles.  
"I can see mini Moony here..."  
I nod "I've haven't brought anyone here. Not even Dora. You're my first"   
He smiles and kisses me.   
I take out a knife from my pocket.  
"And now you're gonna kill me?" he asks.  
I roll my eyes.   
"Watch"   
I lean towards the wall. There are lots of pictures. I remember I used to take pictures of everything I found and put them here. I find a empty space and crave something on there:  
MOONY 🌙 and I draw a little half Moon as well.  
I give the knife to Sirius smiling.   
He adds: & PADFOOT ⭐ and he draws a little star.  
I smile. "Moony and Padfoot"  
"Oh I forgot something" Sirius says and he writes down.  
4EVER  
Sirius smiles at our creation.  
"I hope they will never distroy this house" I say "So when the future generations come here, they will see this craving on the wall. Moony and Padfoot. And they would tell all sorts of stories and legends of these two crossed lovers. How we were ment for each other"   
Sirius giggles.  
"But the true story" I continue "Will be that you and I lived happily ever after"   
I grab Padfoot's chin and I look into his eyes.   
"I'm in love with you Pads. Only you. And I don't want to spend my days without you"  
"I love you too Moony" he whispers.   
And we kiss. Our mouths move hungrily as always. Wanting more and more of each other. And rapidly, I'm taking his clothes off and he is taking off mine.   
Soon enough we are laying on the floor devouring each other.   
"I love you Pads" I whisper as he kisses me everywhere.   
He stops kissing me to look into my eyes "I love you Moony"


	44. Charlie

I know now why people like kissing so much. Is so bloody addictive. Or maybe just Regulus' lips are addictive. I don't know but I can't stop.   
I haven't introduced him as my boyfriend to Mamma Bea. Regulus said we should wait. I don't know what he is he waiting for, but it's alright. I am so happy I think I can explode.   
We are currently snogging at his room. Is the weekend so we don't have to work.   
Regulus stops to take some air. I smirk like a fool.   
"I can't believe I've been snogging Regulus Black for ten minutes now"   
Regulus rolls his eyes smiling   
"The only reason that I kiss you is to shut you up" he says. I know he is lying.   
"Oh in that case I will shut up, you won't have to kiss me anymore"   
"Alright, alright" he kisses me again. I smile into the kiss.   
"I have to tell you something" he says  
"Okay" I smile  
"I know it's weird but I'm not interested in sex"   
"Okay" I keep smiling  
"You are not surprised? Or weird out?"   
"Nop" I raise my shoulders "I don't care about sex eather. I'm content with the snogging"   
I seriously don't mind. I know that there are people that live for that. I don't. I watch cartoons for God's sake.  
"And you can watch cartoons with me"   
Regulus smiles "You really are weird Charles"   
"So can we keep snogging?"  
Regulus laughs. He kisses me again.  
Suddenly we hear a knock on the door.   
"Oi! Reggie! Are you there?"   
"Shit is Sirius" Regulus goes pale "Just hide in the closet"   
"What?"  
"Just hide in the closet"   
And he pushes me into the closet. I reckon he doesn't want anyone to know we are boyfriends. I don't know if we are boyfriends. I don't understand how this works.   
I hear Regulus opening the door.   
"What do you want Sirius?"   
"James and I made brownies"  
Uuuh. I love brownies.   
"That's it?" Regulus asks "You made brownies?"   
"Don't act so surprised Reggie" Sirius answers "Now come downstairs. Oh... and tell Charlie to come too"   
Oh. Shit.   
I come out of the closet slowly. I see Regulus blushing.  
"Good!" I say "I tried the closet space and I reckon it is good enough. Eehm...Nice house" I lie   
"Oh hi Charlie" Sirius says smirking  
"Hi Sirius"   
"Would you like some brownies?"  
"No" Regulus says  
"I'd love some" I answer smiling. 

We go downstairs. James, Sirius, Mrs. Potter, Regulus and I are sitting on the table. I'm devouring my brownies. They are good. Although everyone looks at me strangely.   
"So you like them Charlie?" James asks  
I swallow quickly "Oh yes! I love brownies"   
"I reckon I've never seen someone eat like that" Sirius says  
"You always get hungry after a good shag" James adds  
"Oi! James" Mrs. Potter says hitting his arm.   
Sirius laughs.   
"Oh we didn't shag" I say with my mouth full "Just snog. A lot"   
Regulus looks pink. He covers his face.   
Everyone laughs.   
"Eat up. You will need more strength for more snogging" Sirius says. James giggles. And Mrs. Potter smiles.  
"Will you stop bothering my boyfriend please?" Regulus says.   
Boyfriend? I drop the piece of brownie from my mouth.   
"Aaaaaaaaaah!!" I scream and everyone jumps "Regulus just called me his boyfriend"   
I'm very happy. I get out of my sit and I start jumping.   
"I'm Regulus' boyfriend!"   
Mrs. Potter brusts into laughter. I know she hasn't laugh since her husband died. I'm glad she is doing it now. James and Sirius join her.   
I look at my BOYFRIEND and he is bright red. He covers his face with his shirt.  
"This is worse than when I kissed James" he whispers.  
"Wait. You kissed James?" Sirius asks shocked.   
"Oh really?" asks Mrs. Potter.  
"That's a long story" James smiles.   
I smile. I don't care who Regulus kissed in the past. He is my boyfriend now. Wait till I tell Mamma Bea. 

A few days later I'm at the tea shop. Regulus (my boyfriend. I can't stop saying it. I'm sorry) doesn't work today. So I take advantage of the situation and I talk to Mamma Bea.   
"So Mamma Bea" I say "Give me dating advices. I don't want to suck at being Regulus' boyfriend"   
"Oh Charlie dear" she says "You won't suck. Dating is not science. You just have to do your best, be you and hope it turns alright"   
"And what about sex? Is it important?"  
Mamma Bea laughs "Charlie!"   
"I'm only asking because Regulus says he is not interested"  
"Oh!" she says "And are you interested?"   
"I don't know" I say raising my shoulders "It's like pineapple in pizza. Some people like it, some people don't. I haven't tried it so I can't tell whether is good or not"   
Mamma Bea laughs "Well I'm not gonna lie. I love pineapple in pizza. I can't live without pineapple in pizza"   
I look at her puzzled.   
"Meaning sex, darling"   
"Oh" I laugh   
"But a relationship is not based on that" she continues "There are other beautiful things. Such as kissing, hugging, talking. If you really like this kid, I'm pretty sure you will make it work"   
She smiles.   
"I really like him, Mamma Bea"   
She kisses my head and goes to the back   
"Love is in the air" she says

Suddenly a girl comes in. She has a bright purple hair and she is wearing punk clothes. Just like Regulus' brother Sirius. I think I've seen her before. She is Remus' friend or something. With a very weird name.   
"Heeya" she says  
"Hi" I smile  
"You are Regulus boyfriend, right?"  
I giggle. Boyfriend.   
"Yes that's me" I laugh "Sorry I love saying that"   
She laughs as well.   
"So what can I get you?"   
"Amm... Actually I saw outside that you are hiring?"  
"Oh. Yes" Mamma Bea put the sign a couple days ago. We need the help since Regulus is having his Hogwarts exams. He won't have time to work as much.   
"Mamma Bea!" I yell "What is your name?" I ask her  
"Tonks" See? Weird name. I actually like it.   
"Well Tonks" I say smiling "I'm Charlie. You're going to love it here"   
Mamma Bea comes out.   
"Mamma Bea. This girl wants to apply for the job"  
"Oh hello dear"   
"Good morning ma'am"   
"Oh nonsense. Call me Mamma Bea"   
"Mamma Bea" Tonks says blushing "I have tons of experience serving at Sydney. I can clean very well, and I'm good with clients"   
"Darling, are you friends with Regulus?"   
"Kind of" Tonks says smiling.   
"Well you're hired" Mamma Bea says "Any friend of Regulus is a friend of mine"   
"Really?" Tonks looks beamed.  
"Can you start right now?" Mamma Bea asks  
"Sure!"   
"Great! Charlie dear, show her everything please"   
"Yes Mamma Bea" I say smiling.   
"I like your hair" I say "You look like a rockstar"  
She laughs "Well thanks Charlie. I really like yours"   
I really like this girl. I reckon we are going to be good friends.


	45. Everyone Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next events take place on the day of Graduation of from Hogwarts. Class 1978.

Lily:  
I wait for him to come. My hands shaking as always. I've been trying to see him for months. He doesn't want to see me. Severus hates me. I reckon.   
Maybe he would want to see me today.   
And I was right. I see him coming with a weird orange suit. He looks awful, with bag in his eyes. He doesn't smile at me like he always does. Instead he sits in front of me. Without saying a word.   
"You have five minutes" the guard says.   
Shit. I've been planning what to say to Severus but now that he is in front of me, I don't know what to say.   
"Sev..." I say "H-how... You've been?" I smile slightly.   
He doesn't answer. He just looks down.  
"You know? Tuney got engaged yesterday" I don't know why I say that. I just want this to be less awkward. "With Vernon. Her ex. Dudley is happy that his parents are back together..."  
"The guards said you've been coming to see me"  
"Yeah..." I bite my lip  
"Please stop" he says full of bitterness.   
"I'm really sorry Sev" I say with tears on my eyes  
"It's not your fault Lily" he says "Is only mine"   
If I would've been there for him, perhaps... Arrg. I know that James says is not my fault, but I feel bloody guilty.  
He seems embarrassed. "I think you should probably go" he starts leaving but I grab his hand.   
"No touching!" The guard says and I let his hand go.  
"I was in our swings today" I say. He sits back again. I sniff "Remember we used to swing higher and higher? And then we would jump"   
Severus simply looks at me.  
"I remember one particular evening that I fell and before I start crying, you gave me some candy and whispered 'You are brave Lily'".   
I have tears in my eyes remembering that day, and I can see Severus as well.  
"I remember I thought, 'what a brave boy. How sweet he is'. Where is that boy Sev?"   
Severus starts crying   
"I'm sorry Lily" he sobs "I'm really sorry"  
I want to hug him. But they won't let me.   
"I'm not angry with you" I cry  
He sniffs "I wish I could change everything I did. But I did it for you Lily" he cries and cries "All for you. You're the only thing for me"   
I close my eyes in pain. I still love him. I still care for him.   
"It's fine" I smile between tears. He didn't know best. I mean Sirius and Regulus had each other, they had James and his other friends. Sev only had me and I failed him   
"You're still my best friend" I sniff  
"You're still mine" he says "I will come out of here soon, you'll see"  
"And I'll be waiting for you"   
I don't care what the guards say, I grab his hand. Tight. And he squeezes back.   
"I hope Potter makes you happy" he says "You deserve it Lily, you're an angel"   
"You..." I want to say he deserves better, but I don't.   
"Time's up!" the guard says.  
We stop holding hands. The guard takes Severus away.   
"Don't come here again, Lily. Just live your life"   
"But Sev..."  
But the guard takes him away. I catch a glimpse of him before he disappears into the other room. And I brake down crying.

Emmeline:   
I wake up when the sunlight strikes my eye. When they ajust I see him. My beautiful boyfriend. Peter. I know he is not Sirius Black. But he is perfect, he is better. His body is perfectly fit. Of course he doesn't have abs or anything, but he is beautiful just the way he is. I see his stomach where he has the scar from the bullet. He is so brave. I got so scared to loose him. I'm so glad he is alive. I don't what I would do without him.   
I haven't spoken to my old friends. I ripped all my pictures with them from my wall. I don't mind. They are not good friends, they never were. I have new friends now: Peter's friends, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Alice, even Tonks. She has been pretty cool to me.  
I smile to myself to be so lucky.   
I find that Peter is holding a notebook and I carefully take it. Peter doesn't wake up luckily. In there a found a drawing of me. It is amazing! I look beautiful. My Peter is so talented. I smile kissing his cheek, which wakes him up.  
"Mmm" he protests and I laugh.  
"Did you take my notebook?" he asks  
"Yees" I smile "You're very talented"   
He rolls his eyes smiling "That was nothing"   
"Oh, c'mon. Stop being so modest" I say "You really are good"   
"Well you are beautiful so the drawing came up alright"   
I laugh "Oh shut up, Pettigrew" and I kiss him.   
"So do you know what you're going to do?" I ask "After Hogwarts. I mean"   
Peter raises up his shoulders "You?"   
I was thinking of going to Paris. To study art. I mean I haven't painted in a while. But I reckon I would be good. I really like painting. And then I get a wicked idea.  
"Come with me to Paris"   
He smirks "What?"   
"Let's go to Paris" I get excited and sit down in bed "To study art together. The power couple of artists"   
"I don't know" he says smiling  
"Why not?"   
He starts stroking my hair. "I haven't finished my therapy. I don't know if I could do well in Paris"   
"Is everything going okay?" I ask worried.  
"Yeah I mean, I ate a blueberry pie with Mom yesterday" he sighs "And then back home I vomited all of it"  
Shit.   
"Peter..."  
"It's okay. I'm okay" he says "Marlene says is normal to have relapses"  
"Oh Pete" I put my head on his chest. I don't want him to see me with tears in my eyes.   
"I'm glad you're thinking about painting again" he says "I would love to go with you to Paris"   
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. You just have to be a bit pacient with me"   
I sigh "Of course I will wait. I will do everything for you Pete"   
He kisses my head in response.  
"Okay" he says sitting down. He takes the notebook and a pencil "I reckon we need a full body portrait of you"   
I smile.  
"Let me see your boobs"   
"What?"  
"For the drawing!"   
I laugh.   
"C'mon"   
"Noo!" I say. He has seen my boobs before, but I like to tease him.  
"C'mon..."  
"We have to dress up for the ceremony!"   
I laugh again and I kiss him. And we lay down again kissing each other softly.

James:  
I'm wearing his suit. It smells like him. I can't believe I will be graduating in hours. And he is not here. My father is not here for my graduation. As I look myself in the mirror, I can't avoid to cry. Tears easily appear on my eyes.  
I hear a knock on my door. Mom comes in. And when she sees me. She starts crying as well.  
"Oh Jamie" she says smiling "It suits you so well"   
I smile and I go to hug her. I don't mind hugging and crying with my mom. I love her so much. She is amazing.   
"He would've been so proud of you" she says on my ear.  
"I miss him" I say  
"I know you do sweetheart" she answers "I miss him too"   
We brake apart.  
"This came for you" she says showing me a letter.   
Hogwarts sends the marks results by mail. I hope I did great on my exams. I had a lot of things going on in my head: my Dad, Sirius and Reggie, Peter and his recovery, Severus, Lily (mostly Lily)   
I sit down in bed and open the letter. Mom sits beside me I had top marks in mostly everything. I smile.   
"Oh Jamie! You did amazing" mom kisses my head "I'm so proud of you"   
I sigh in relief.   
"So what do you want to do after Hogwarts?" she asks me "You can do everything you want"   
I 've been thinking this for a while.  
"I want to take over Dad's business" I say smiling "I reckon he'd loved it. I want to see what is like"   
"Oh James, you don't have to do that"   
"But I want to" I really do "I'll do business at Uni. And play football on the side. As a hobby"   
"If that's what you want"   
I nod  
"I'm so proud of you baby" Mom smiles at me.   
I sigh "Well I better go. I promise to open this with the lads" I show her the now opened letter "Where's Sirius?"   
"He said he had something to do" she answers "And Regulus is working today. He said he will meet us at the ceremony"   
"Alright. I'll go and see Lily first"   
"She would flip when she sees you" Mom says "Although you should fix your hair!"  
"Never" I say smirking.  
I kiss Mom's head and I walk out. I need to buy Lily flowers.

Sirius:  
I'm covering my boyfriend's eyes. He is going to flip with the surprise I got for him. We are already dressed for the Hogwarts ceremony. I reckon I did great in my exams. I haven't opened the letter. I have it in my pocket. But what's first is first.   
"Sirius where are you taking me?" Moony says.  
I smile. "Just trust me love"   
Remus almost trips and I laugh "Watch it Moony"   
"If you're going to blind take me somewhere, at least guide me through the right way!" he protests.  
I smirk "Okay. Almost there"  
After walking a bit more, we are finally here. I'm so excited. Oh Jesus!  
"Okay, ready?"  
"I've been ready for the past ten minutes" Remus says.  
I laugh "One, Two, Three"  
I take my hands away and Remus opens his eyes.   
In front of us there is a red Honda CBX1000. A motorbike ten times better than the one I had before. A new model. I wait for his reaction.  
"Holy shit!" Remus yells in excitement.  
I smile like a fool.  
"Is this yours?"  
"Hell yes" I say "I saved a bunch of money from my job and there it is"   
"Wicked!"   
"And it's not only mine" I say walking towards it "Is yours as well. Is ours"   
Remus smiles.  
"Now I can take you everywhere you want" I say "We can ride all night. In the good way and a bad way" I wink.   
Remus blushes. He is so adorable. He laughs.  
"So what do you say?"   
"I love it" he says "It is as pretty as you"  
"Oi! Nobody is prettier than her" I say  
"Her?"   
"I'm naming her Lucy" I smirk "Lucy in the sky with diamonds" I sing   
Remus laughs "Lucy in the sky with the starts and the moon"   
"Exactly!" I say "She is our baby"   
Moony smiles and I kiss him. I don't care that noisy people look at us when the walk by.   
"Now let's have a ride" I say  
"Pads! We are on public" Remus says smiling.  
I laugh. "I love you baby"   
He wants to kiss me again but before he does I go and sit on Lucy (no that I think about it, it sounds wrong). Moony sits behind me.   
"We'll have to open our letters with the lads" he says   
"Ah c'mon. They can wait"   
I kiss him one more time and give him the helmet. And he puts it on. Remus Lupin looks adorable with the helmet.   
I turn it (Lucy) on. (Yes it definitely sounds wrong). And we ride through the city and through the countryside.   
"Uuuuhuuu!!!" I yell raising my arms.  
"Uuuuhuuu!!!!" Remus yells as well. But he grabs my waist tightly.  
And we laugh like maniacs.  
I don't know what is going to happen in the future. Or if I will always gonna be this happy. But right now I'm so so happy. I don't want this feeling to go away. Ever.


	46. Everyone Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These events take place on the Hogwarts Graduation Day, class of 1978

Marlene:  
I have it in my hands. My acceptance letter. I got into Cambridge. And I will be studying medicine. For her. For mom. She is doing a lot better. At least she is willing to eat and get out of the house once in a while. The cancer is not gone. But I mean it is something.   
We are done with exams. So we are free spirits. Our ceremony is next week. But today we have Remus' at freaking Hogwarts. I'm proud of that boy. I don't know how he got through that school, but he did. I reckon Uni applications will be easy for him.   
I'm at to Dorcas' volley tournament. The first since she got back. When she told me how Gunter apologized I didn't believe her. I still don't believe that wanker. But my baby is way more happy since she is back on the team. And I'm glad to see her happy.   
I watch my girlfriend play. She is exceptional. I reckon there are Uni recruiters here. She could get a scholarship easily.   
They won. My baby's team won. And I smile to myself. After the match, I watch a bunch of people congratulate her, many people talk to her, including her family. Mrs. Meadowes is still not fond of me.  
"She was pretty good, wasn't she?" Gunter is besides me, looking at Dorcas. Asshole.   
"Yes, she is amazing" I say kind of pissed off.  
"I know you probably hate me" he says  
"Hate you? Noo" I say sarcastically. "I just want to stab you with a knife"   
He laughs "I'm really sorry. I won't bother your girlfriend anymore. She is special to me. But as a friend. I reckon she will do good in Uni"   
"She will"   
"And I'm glad that she has you. You make her really happy, you know?"   
I look at him puzzled "I thought you were homophobic?"   
He shakes his head "Nah. I don't care what Dorcas is, she is very talented. You're lucky to have her"  
I look towards my girlfriend. So beautiful and sweaty. He is right. I'm lucky to have her. Dorcas smiles at me. I smile back. And she gestures me to go to her.  
"Go on" Gunter says "I have to talk to the recruiters"   
He turns to leave and before he leaves I scream   
"Gunter" he looks at me "Thank you" I say. 

Dorcas:  
I'm so happy. I have received many congratulations and offers from many people. I'm so glad to be back on the team. To do the one thing I truly love.   
My brothers come and hug me.   
"Arrrggg. You smell" little Isaiah says. I love this kiddo.   
"Congratulations Dorcas" Dad says smiling "Who would've say that my baby girl is so talented"   
I hug him "Thank you Dad"   
"Dorcas" Mom says "You need to get a good scholarship now. I asked your coach and..."  
"Oh please, honey" Dad says "Give her a brake"   
I smile to Dad. He is always there to save my neck.   
Mother sighs and doesn't say anything else.   
Then I see at my girlfriend. Marly smiling at me. My heart starts beating fast. She looks so beautiful. I want to kiss her. I gesture her to come.   
Mom looks disgusted. She still doesn't accept my relationship with her.   
When Marly comes, she greets my family.   
"Marly!" little Isaiah says hugging her . He had always loved her.  
"Hi there little one" Marly says.   
I smile at her and hug her.   
"You were incredible baby" she whispers in my ear.  
"Thank you love"   
"I finally got it" she says showing what is seems like a letter "My acceptance to Cambridge!"   
"Oh baby!" I jump "You made it. I'm so proud of you!"   
Marlene laughs. "Don't get too excited. We are on public" I know she is joking.   
I know he would probably go to different Unis. But right now I'm too happy to care. I want to spend all summer, as much time I have left with her.  
"I want to kiss you" I say coming closer to her.  
She leans as well. But before we can kiss my mother grabs my arm.   
"Dorcas. Not here" she says "You are in front of your team, the recruiters. Think of what they say"   
My blood starts boiling. Why can't I just kiss my bloody girlfriend? If it was a bloke nobody would mind.  
"You know what? I don't bloody care Mom" I say a little too loud so that everyone can hear me.  
"I'm gay! This is my girlfriend and I love her. And nobody is going to change that" I say "If people kicked me out or don't accept me in their Universities, that's up to them. Because I'm not going to change"   
And right there in front of everyone, I kiss Marlene in the mouth. Not a delicate kiss, but a passionate one.

Frank:  
Today is the day. I take Alice to see our potential new house. I saw it a couple of days ago and I fell in love with it. It is not big. Not like the one Alice's parents have. But is decent. It looks like one of those houses that old couples have. With a mini yard on the back. With little swings for our potential future children. (I blush thinking about our future kids). And it is just for us. It screams Frank and Alice. The Longbottoms. I'm so excited to even think that.   
I have my wife blinded. This is a surprise. I hope she likes it.  
"I'm getting anxious baby" she says "Can I see now?"   
"Wait. Let me get you out of the car"   
"I'm never riding a car blind folded even again. Do you hear me?"   
I giggle. She is so adorable.   
I take her to the house where Mrs. Rotherfiled, the estate agent is waiting for us.  
"Good afternoon Mr. Longbottom" she says "Why is she blind folded?"   
"Frank, who is that?" Alice asks freaked out.  
I laugh.   
"It is a surprise"   
"Oh" the agent says.  
I take Alice inside. The house is empty but I already see our future here. Me and Al sitting on the couch. Grey and old. Our children or grandchildren running through.   
"Ready?" I ask. Alice nods excited. "One, two, three"   
I take the scarf off her eyes. She gasps.  
"Oh My God, Frank!" She covers her mouth.  
"Do you like it?"   
"Like it? I love it!"   
Mrs. Rotherfiled looks at us similing.  
"Can you picture us living here?" I say "With our little things, pictures of us hanging on the walls, our children playing in those swings"   
I can see she blushes when I say 'children' but I don't care. Alice laughs.  
"Baby" she says "Are you sure we can afford this? I mean we are perfectly fine in our flat"   
"You don't like it" I try to sound sad  
"Of course I do" she says grabbing my chin   
"Then don't worry about the expenses" I say "I have that covered. Don't I, Mrs. Rotherfiled?"  
She nods laughing.  
"Will you move in here with me?" I put my best puppy eyes for her.   
She smiles "I would love to"   
"YES!" I jump in excitement "Ok. Mrs. Rotherfiled sold! We're moving in!"   
Mrs. Rotherfiled and my wife laugh.   
And I take Alice in my arms and swing her around.

Alice:  
Mrs. Rotherfiled leaves. We finally have the keys and the bloody house is ours. I loved it really. This is the most beautiful house I've ever been to. And I've lived at my parents house. Being married to Frank is a dream come true. We are almost celebrating our anniversary. And I reckon we deserve our luxuries. I will help my husband to pay for everything. I swear.   
We stay at the house a little longer. So we can breathe it in. Make it ours. Wander around and see how we are going to decorate it.   
I kiss Frank until I'm breathless, just because I want to. Just because I'm so happy.   
"So? Welcome to the Longbottoms residence madam" says Frank.  
I laugh.  
"In here we have the living room. With no furniture"   
I giggle.   
"And the kitchen with nothing as well"   
"Wow. Impressive"   
"Upstairs we have the bedrooms"  
"I would like to see them please" I say smirking.  
"Right away Miss"   
Frank drags me upstairs. The house has two bedrooms. A big one and a small one. And a bathroom.  
We get to what would be our bedroom from now on. The room is empty with nothing than an old radio on the floor. I see the view is beautiful. We can see the backyard and the swings from here.  
Frank turns on the radio and a sweet melody starts playing. 'Happy Together' by The Turtles.  
"Milady" Frank says giving me his hand.   
I take it and we start dancing. Frank spins me around. My dress flying with me. We slow dance and I put my arms around his neck.   
"I think we should inaugurate our house" I whisper in his ear.  
He looks at me and I smirk.  
"Oh!" he says "Right away" he grabs my waist and I laugh.  
After we shag on the floor, we lay there only on our underwear.   
"Wow" Frank says "First of many shags in this house"   
"You wish" I say  
"Oi!" he protests and I laugh.  
Oh shit. I remember that I have something to say to him. This morning I got my acceptance letter for Oxford. I got in. But I don't know if I will have money for that.  
"I have to tell you something" I say  
He looks at me.  
"I'm pregnant" I say. Frank goes very pale.  
I brust out laughing.   
"Oh my God. Your face!"   
"Oh bloody hell Al" he says sitting down "Is not funny"  
I sit down as well. "I got into Oxford"   
He smiles "Really?"   
I nod.   
"Oh God baby! That's amazing"  
"I don't know if I can pay it though" I bite my lip.  
"Hey" he grabs my chin "Don't worry about it. We will figure it out. We both have jobs. We just have to save a bit"   
I smile and I kiss him. I love this man so much.  
"So. Can I ask you something?" he says.  
I nod in response.   
"Would you like children?"   
Oh shit. "I..."  
"I mean not now. In the future. When you are ready"   
I look into his eyes and my answer is clear. I touch his cheek kindly.  
"I would love to have children with you" I say. Then I smile. "Do you want to start now?"   
He laughs and I start kissing him again.   
"Al. I would love to have sex with you again. But is getting late and we need to get to Remus' graduation.  
"Arrrggg" I protest "Fine you loose it"   
Frank laughs and kisses my cheek.


	47. Everyone Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These events take place on the day of Hogwarts Graduation, class 1978

Peter:  
I'm kind of melancholic. Watching the forest. I mean I can't believe Hogwarts is almost over. I had very good times there. With my friends. I love my friends. Sirius and James had done many things for me. And then Remus came along and I became close to him. He is part of the gang now. The Marauders.   
I'm thinking about Em's offer too. Going to Paris with her would be a dream. But I'm too insecure for Paris. I don't think I will fit there. France is full of beautiful people. I'm not beautiful. Not at all. I promised I'll think about it. I just want to enjoy my graduation and the summer. With them. With my friends.  
"HA!"   
I jump. Is James he starts laughing like a maniac. He is wearing a suit. I reckon is his father's. I'm wearing a suit as well.  
"Fucking hell James!" I say "We are in the middle of the woods!"   
"That's why is more funny" he says smirking. I roll my eyes.   
"Where are Sirius and Remus?" I ask  
"Probably shagging"   
"We had done with that ages ago" I hear another voice and is Sirius holding hands with his boyfriend. Who is blushing for what he just said.   
"Just finished riding with Sirius" Remus says.  
We all look at him.  
"His new motorbike. For God's sake. Your dirty minds"   
We all laugh.   
"Alright lads" I say "Who is ready to open their letters?"   
"Wait" Sirius says "We have to start a bonfire"   
We pick up a few brunches and sticks and Sirius sets them of fire with his lighter.   
We watch the fire for a while.   
"Oh. I also brought this" says James taking out a bottle of boose from his pocket.   
"Well thought Prongs" Sirius smiles.   
James takes a sip and passes the bottle to Sirius.   
"Okay. I'll go first" James says taking out his letter, which seems already opened.  
"You've opened it?" I ask   
"Prongs!" Sirius protests.  
"I wanted to show it to mom" he says "Top marks in everything except Chemistry and English. Fucking Umbridge"   
"Well done Prongsie" Remus says gulping the bottle.   
"I thought you didn't drink" Sirius says.  
"Just a bit for a special occasion" he says "Besides, I'm not my Dad"   
I heard something about Remus' Dad being drunk, having an accident and causing him his scars.  
"Me too" I say taking the bottle from Remus. "This is a very special occasion. It's not everyday that four assholes get good grades" I take a gulp. I don't mind about alcohol anymore. I used to think it made me feel fat. But I just simply enjoy it now.  
"Don't discredit us so easily Wormtail" Sirius says. She opens his letter and smirks. "Top grades in everything" He winks.   
"Well done love!" Remus blows him a kiss. And he opens his own letter. "Good marks. Uuh except for Chemistry. Well Professor Slughorn wasn't too fond of me"   
"Bloody asshole. You deserve more baby. You're a genius" Sirius says.   
And they start kissing.   
"Uuuggg" James protests.  
"Okay!" I interrupt "My turn!"   
I open my letter. I feel very nervous. I never was a great student like James, Sirius or Remus. I had a hard time concentrating. They helped me in most assignments. If I get bad marks, I would probably be too embarrassed.   
To my surprise, most of them are quite good. I smile.   
"So?" Remus asks.  
"Very good ones lads" I smile "Very good ones"   
"Yeeeeees!!" My friends scream.   
I'm actually very happy.   
"Okay!" I just want to say something. James takes the bottle and drink from it.   
"Promise me boys. After this we are never going to stop being friends. We will always find each other to do mischief and get ourselves waisted"   
We all laugh.  
"No I'm serious" James continues.   
"No I'm Sirius" he smirks  
James laughs "Boys. Join your hands to promise to never betray or stop being a marauder. Always do mischief and have free spirit. Always support one and other"   
Sirius joins "I solemnly swear"   
Remus smiles "I solemnly swear"  
I join my hand as well "Of course I solemnly swear"   
We join our hands above the fire.  
"One, two, three. Marauders!"   
And then we laugh our butts out and drink. Oh God, our ceremony is in an hour.

Regulus:  
Madam Puddifoot's has had a wonderful couple of weeks. She has loyable clients, many people coming, buying. There's a lot of work to do.   
I guess it is the fact that Tonks is working with us now. She is very pretty. And inspite of having a wicked blue hair now, she is very charismatic. And the old ladies love her.   
Dating Charlie is really weird. He always manages to make me laugh or blush. I hate both things. I'm a punk guy, okay? But I fancy him. I really fancy him. It feels good to like someone who likes you back. Someone who loves you for who you are.   
I haven't seen or heard from mother since I told her to fuck off on the phone. I don't miss her anymore. I have a lot of good people to fill up the void.   
When the last costumer leaves, Madame Puddifoot (she insists I call her Mamma Bea) closes the door. We have to dress up and go. It is my brother's graduation. I'm so proud of him. I don't want to miss it.   
"Before you go" Mamma Bea says "I have great news"   
"What is it Mamma Bea?" Charles asks excited. I smile at him. He is so adorable sometimes. Ok I'm gonna stop.   
"We had had very good movement in the last couple of weeks. I reckon we had sold a lot. And it's all thanks to you three" she says smiling.  
"Really?" Tonks asks  
"Of course darling" Mamma Bea says "I want to make a toast. Charlie sweety, bring a bottle of champagne please"   
"Actually we have to go..." I begin  
"This will only take a minute"   
Charles comes jumping with the bottle. Mamma Bea opens it and the drink pops out.  
"Aaah!" Mamma Bea laughs. She pours glasses for us.   
Tonks gives me a glass.   
"I'm too young to drink..."  
"Oh shut up Regulus" she smiles.  
"I want to propose a brindis for Charlie" Mamma Bea looks at him "You're my son, my company, my everything"  
I can see my boyfriend with tears in his eyes.   
"A toast for Tonks. Sweet princess. You are an angel who appeared just on time to help me out. Thank you"   
"Thanks to you Mamma Bea" she says smiling. "My father and I are a lot better"   
"I'm glad darling"  
"And Regulus" Mamma Bea looks at me "My sweet boy. I know you have a heart of gold. Even though you are so grumpy sometimes" I blush "And you make my Charlie happy. Which is why I'm forever grateful to you"  
"Thanks Mamma Bea" I swallow my tears. I cannot cry.   
"He called me Mamma Bea" she gasps and everyone laughs. I blush more.  
"Well" says Mamma Bea "Turn on some music and let's dance"   
Tonks turns the radio on and 'You sexy thing' by Hot Chocolate starts playing.   
Everyone expect me starts dancing. Oh God this is ridiculous.   
"This is such a good song!" Tonk says.   
I start laughing.   
"C'mon Regulus" Charles says.  
I shake my head "Nah nah"   
"Don't be such a brat" Tonks says  
"Are you going to leave us dancing alone?" Mamma Bea asks  
I shake my head. There's no way I'm dancing.   
"Reg. Please... For your boyfriend?" Charles makes a pout.  
I laugh. Oh shit.   
I begin swaying awkwardly. And Charles spins me around. And we kiss. We all begin laughing and dancing. I blush because I'm not used to these things.   
My real family might not be the best. Is actually the worse. But I have another family. Sirius, James, Mrs. Potter, Remus, Peter, my other friends, Mamma Bea and Charles. Charles is the best one. I guess I will be alright. 

Remus:   
The ceremony is beautiful. I mean. I can't believe I got here. I remember when I first came to Hogwarts. All I wanted was to go back to my old school. I never imagined I would grow attached to this place. The castle, the classes, the Professors. Not only that, I never imagined meeting such good people. Lily, James, Peter, Emmeline, Alice. Even the Carrow Twins and Coraline seem nice to me now. And specially above all, I never imagined falling in love. Hogwarts is the best place in the world because here, I met him. My Padfoot. The love of my life.   
I grab his hand as Amycus Carrow gives some cheesy speech about life and shit. I look into Padfoot eyes. Those grey eyes were the first thing I saw when I came here. And I'm glad they are mine. I love that Sirius is mine and only mine.   
"I love you" I whisper in his ear.   
A beautiful smirk appears on his lips.  
"I love you more Moony" he whispers kissing my cheek.   
After the ceremony, the greetings and respective congratulations, we head to James' house for a big goodbye party. Well we are spending the summer together but, you know.   
After a few hours of dancing and drinking, I watch everyone here. Let's see there's Peter and Emmeline. Pete has grown so much since I met him. He is stronger and more confident. He saved James and Severus from dying. Em. I really like her and I think she makes Peter happy. I see them slow dancing and kissing.   
I see Frank and Alice. I already knew Frank. But Alice is very nice. They are the perfect couple. The ideal one. The kind you only see in movies or romantic novels. I hope they are forever happy. I wish them all the luck in the world.   
I see Dorcas and Marlene. My best friends. They had been there for me for a long time. And for that I'm forever grateful. I hope I see them as often and we can still be friends. Lovely girls.   
I see Dora. She is wonderful. God. I'm so lucky to have her in my life. She has been so supportive. With my relationship with Sirius, with everything. I promised myself to always be there for her and make up for everything she has done for me. I hope she finds someone special who loves her. She told me she is content with having some time to herself. That she is happy being single. For now. Let's see what happens in the future.   
I also see Regulus and Charlie. Reggie is more confident about himself. About his sexuality. Charlie makes him happy. I can tell. Even if they deny it, I can see so much of Sirius in him. They are very much alike. Those boys deserve all the love in the world.   
And I see James chatting with Sirius and laughing at something. What a pair of idiots. I remember I thought they were wankers when I first met them. But they are not. They are the opposite. They are such good friends and people in general. I can't believe I am their friend. I reckon I don't deserve them. Perhaps some day they will get bored of me. But for now I'm gonna clinch on to them.   
"Heyaa!" I see Lily besides me. My special girl. My queen. She has been a really good friend to me. The first friend I made at Hogwarts.  
"Hey sweet bean" I say smiling.  
"I can't believe we just graduated, can you?"   
I shake my head. "Hell no. I'm still a baby"   
Lily laughs   
"Remember when we first met? I told you these assholes were spoiled brats?"  
"How can I forget?" I smirk.  
"I still think that" I laugh "But I love them. Specially James. I love my sweet boyfriend"   
"Oh God. I love my sweet boyfriend as well"   
She smiles and kisses my cheek.   
"I'm glad I met you Rem"  
"I'm glad I met you princess" I kiss her forehead.   
"Let's go dance" she says "And get waisted"   
"Yes queen" I bow and she laughs.   
We get to the dance floor. Lily gives James a kiss.  
I kiss my boyfriend as well.  
After we dance for a while, I feel arms around me. Soon Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are rubbing my head.   
"Moony!" they yell.  
"Hello boys" I smile   
"Moony" I put my arm in front so they can join me.   
"Wormtail" Peter joins  
"Padfoot" Sirius joins  
"And Prongs" James joins.  
"The Marauders" Peter adds.   
"Ready?" I ask. They all nod. "One, two, three"  
"Mischief Managed" we yell raising our hands. 

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Arrrg so many feelings. So many things to say. Thank you so much for sticking with me. Thank you for reading this Fanfic. I never thought it would be this long or people were going to like it. Keep up for more fanfics and stories about various characters from the HP Universe. Love you all ❤️


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